You Might be an Aspie if...

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Ditto, except mine was a book shop. They had a cafe upstairs that I sat in all day.

You might be a confused Aspie if you wonder how you can read body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and moods and feelings within less than a second, and it comes naturally without any of it being learned specially. It's really weird, but if I haven't got AS then what have I got, if I exhibit all the rest of the symptoms....?

Possibly schizotypal disorder, or something else in the realm of schizophrenia. Outside chance of Borderline Personality Disorder, but from what little I've read of your writings here, you seem to care about what other people think, which I believe lowers the chance of BPD.

OK forget that - that's to be worried about on the ''social anxiety vs AS'' thread.

Anyway get this -

You may be an Aspie (or NT good at spelling) if you know how to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (and believe me - I just wrote that straight on here. I didn't google for the correct spelling or anything).

pneumonoultramicroscopticsilicovolcanoconiosis

You might be an aspie if you actually google'd it to see if it has a correct spelling and to determine it's meaning.

I Google words for meaning and spelling all the time.

Likewise - I get a weird spelling blindness sometimes with fairly common words and the more I look at the spelling, the less correct it seems and the only easy to crack that is to look it up.

I do this all the time!!

You might be an Aspie if you're constantly googling your neologisms to determine if they are neological.

You might be an Aspie if people are constantly answering the call of nature to extricate themselves from conversations with you.

You might be an Aspie if you're constantly following people into the men's bathroom and you're not a man.

You know you're an Aspie when...you fanwank about animated features; e.g. "If the 7 dwarves work in a diamond mine, why do they live in a crappy little cottage in the woods?"

or even better...when someone says 'I'd sure love to get into his/her pants!', and it makes you think why they don't just put on a pair of pants of their own.

You know you are an aspie if people can get you to do stupid things because you take everything so literally.

Another thing I have 'sessions' with is dropping words - as above, where I dropped "way" from "the only easy way to crack that". It's like my typing sometimes gets out of sync with my thinking!
Only just noticed it.

....you put your fingers in your ears when you walk past the smoke alarm when the dinner's cooking - just in case.

....each time you watch a film you're spending less time taking it in, and more time wondering how they do the special effects so effectively and realistically.

Yup, or notice you're the only one with fingers in ears when the fire alarm test goes off at work (seriously, why does no-one else there think it unbearable ?)

Also ... if the idea of a holiday in Las Vegas is utter hell, whilst a few months on the Antarctic Base would be wonderful (provided you got a room on your own and wasn't bothered by the others there too much). Lots of meterological testing & drilling for ice core samples & mucking about on skidoos ... gimme gimme !