Do Your Parents Fit The Assortative Mating Theory of AS?

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This is apparently a type of "associative thinking" which is common among the autistic population.

I never realized how associatively I think before coming here. When in conversation, I often focus on a phrase, which then reminds me of something else, which then reminds me of something else that I deem noteworthy to the conversation. When I bring it up, it's almost always abrupt and comes off as a non sequitor.

my dad is most likely AS. he believes his dad was probably AS, and his mom might be as well.

my mom is technically NT, but i'd still consider her borderline AS.. she has several of the AS traits in minor forms.

my mom's dad was probably NT, but her mom is most likely AS. and several of my cousins on that side of the family are most likely AS.

my sister is NT. go figure.

but for you people who have "normal NT" parents... what about their parents? or siblings? or other relatives?

because there're a lot of AS people in my family... so even though my sister is quite NT, i think it's still a good possibility that she will have an AS child.

My Dad has a lot of AS traits, but, as I had a conversation with him about picking up social situations intuitively- and he seems to "get" this and understand what it means, as if it´s part of his experience- then I assume he´s not AS. (Definitely a "geek" though- math professor). I suspect that some of my relatives on my Dad´s side, possibly my paternal grandmother, may have had AS. My Mom seems to be NT, but she´s also a little bit "different", and she does have sensory sensitivity as well. I have one brother and one sister who seem to be quite "normal", one brother who seems to be NT with some AS traits, and I seem to be the one in my immediate family who fits the picture for autism. (I am, however, undiagnosed; but it does seem to explain an awful lot about me, in a way that nothing else does).

So, in this case, your theory would be correct in regards to my family.

My dad died log before AS had a name, but he almost certainly had it. From his stories, his father likely had it as well. My mom is pretty NT, but OCD does run on that side of the family and there are some rather interesting characters here and there. My father's first wife was AS or very close to it and my half-brother and sister probably have it as well. I haven't seen them for years, but am very interested to meet up, knowing what I know now. I think my parent's marriage lasted because my mom acted as the "social secretary"/ buffer to the outside world, while his first wife was so much like him that neither wanted to be the liaison to the world, causing some strain.

Although the plural of anecdote isn't data (to borrow AnnaLemma's tag line), there are a lot of good anecdotes here. It's food for thought.

all I can say is my parents are not normal. my dad had definite traits of AS but he's not alive anymore so that I can get more information, and my mom seemed more bipolar or personality disordered than anything else. she still lives in a fantasy world where she's an amazing person who was a great mother, which she wasn't at all. I know my maternal family was odd as well, and I loved them. I suppose it's possible my grandfather had AS, as he was a fairly quiet and solitary person but he told great stories and let me hang out working on things with him, like my dad did. my mother just worked so hard to keep us all against each other. she seemed really jealous of anyone paying more attention to someone besides her. I haven't heard of that being an asperger's trait. it seems more like genuine narcissism.

I love this sig, but I also recognize that each data point actually represents some kind of anecdote! I'd say this thread approaches data.

I have always believed this, too. But lots of NTs that I know, prefer the view of there being an epidemic, or a mass invasion of aliens, that are hell bent on taking over.

So true!

Again, very true. Society has to learn to think outside the box, as we Aspies have had to learn to do, in order to survive. It's in many ways, as bad as when missionaries go to foreign countries to convert the poor heathen, and end up learning new things about themselves, instead.

Neither of my parents were on the spectrum. My brother and sister are also NT.

My aunt and uncle on the father's side (his brother and sister) definitely were. And one first cousin and one second cousin also. No one on mother's side that I know of.

AS runs in the genes, but like most genetic traits it can skip a generation.

Both my parents are weird. My mother moreso. She's outgoing in an oblivious sort of way; very 'ernest' and straightforward such that people can take to her, depite being odd (but things don't tend to last). Monologues, has no filter between what she thinks and says, has a very 'logical' way of thinking, says she finds women confusing, and has a memory like a continuous video tape since she was about ?? years-old. At the very least she's neuro-atypical. Has done a lot in the community but always ends up getting eaten alive by the social politics.

She has a cousin who was mentally ret*d, but a musical savant. A music teacher believed there was concert-level potential, though plans to develop that talent were derailed by circumstance. Her father was some sort of mathematical genius; won a very rare scholarship in middle school that paid his way through a PhD in math. Her brother (died at 32) was apparently also talented in math. My mother was also in gifted classes as a kid. Her mother sounded very normal, though, and her sisters seem pretty normal, too.

My father's side of the family is more normal, but there seems to be some sort of weird narcissistic mental issue (or something) in a few extended family members. My father only had one friend that I ever saw, and I don't know how reciprocal that friendship really was. He's also a bit socially oblivious, but less so than my mother.

The "extremely male brain,"theory of the mind" and "systemizers" crap by Baron Cohen has some,very negative, connection to the observation presented here which is not exactly a theory and very hard to miss anyway,
and i failed to see how and why anyone would consider passing of traits from parents to children irrelevant to an evolution theory,
as to your views on my theories, i must admit that i do not care how silly u think they are for an obviuos reasons.

You criticized the “pros”, (a group I understand includes Baron Cohen) for not having come up with the theory that the OP was discussing. That theory was in fact the work of Baron Cohen. That he might have produced some other theory/theories does not change the fact that your initial criticism that no “pro” ever came up with this theory, is counter-factual.


The fact that you might dislike some other theory/theories of Baron Cohen’s does not rewrite history.


Actually I see no evidence you have an actual theory not already argued by the “pros”.

Do u know any "pro" advocating autism as a necessary and positive evolutionary step ?
mind u,most of the rant and anger and frustration at this forum and countless other forums like this stem from the degrading,unfair,stupid,inhuman and distorting views generated by the pro's,
besides u don't know much about my theories as i never presented them here, all i did is recognized chunks that sits well with my views here and there.
anyway,declaring my views as silly and at the same times conforming with those of the pro's u r so quick to defend doesn't sits well with logic and cause me to suspect that your motives r mainly ago driven.
my comments on Baron Cohen were not rewriting history and wasn't meant to assert my credit (a very common NT mistake) but to serve as clear demonstration of the characteristic way the NT science is corrupting clear data in order to assert their superiority,
again'it is very difficult to conduct a clear and interesting discussion woth someone who sees everything as a ego or power struggle,
as many of us knows too well from our daily life.

It is the height of silliness to play this switcheroo game with your unfounded ideas and the “assortive mating” theory that the OP raised and which you criticized the “pros” for not having coming up with. You d criticized the “pros” for not coming up with the theory the OP was discussing which is assortive mating.

Whether or not this emotional ranting and sidetracking is objectively true, the fact remains that you were wrong to criticize the “pros” for not ever coming up with the assortive mating theory the OP was referring to.

Perhaps this explains why they would be appear to silly to the passing reader?

I did not declare your views silly, I commented on my personal view of them as they appear to me. It seems to me that it is your motives that are questionable. You stated a theory had not been arrived at by the “pros” when it has.
Your initial accusation was counter factual, yet you still persist in arguing as though it were not a matter of historical fact. You claim, while ignoring the facts to emotively rant and rail about a group,that someone simply stating facts is defending the “pros” and must have an ego-agenda. I think it’s you that has an agenda outside pursuit of truth. I know my agenda is pursuit of truth, however, criticism whether justified or not, of “the pros” appears to be yours.


You stated it was a wonder that the “pros” had never come up with an idea that in fact they have come up and published. No amount of ad hominen attacks change the fact that you were wrong, whether you can admit it out of respect for truth or not.

Aha, see above.

I'm the daughter of two extremely introverted college professors of English. One has always been spacy, the "absent minded professor." The other was totally socially isolated and exhibited most of the characteristics of AS.

My parents met at University. My mom was just one of the brighter kids who worked hard to get good grades, but my dad is more of a true nerd.