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I need advice about my aspergers

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just-me
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17 Jul 2009, 9:36 pm

Nan wrote:
the next thing i would say to do is to draw up an action plan for yourself. you know the things that bother you. see how much of them you can avoid. for the ones you cannot avoid, you might see if there's some way to desensitize yourself or compensate - headphones playing some music you prefer to hear other than the sounds in a machine shop, if you worked at one. dark sunglasses if you can't stand bright light. i keep the overhead lights off in my office and work from the daylight coming in the window. i explained to my boss that it hurt my eyes to have the overheads on and that i was much more productive with them off. the "productive" card works every time. i keep my home very dimly lit, curtains closed on bright days. i keep a fan running in my room to blot out the outside noise that might come in the window. figure out what kind of work/school environments work best for you, and how can you secure yourself a place in them.


This is the best advice ! Thank you for this helpful information! thank you so much! I'll have to start writing things down that upset me and set up an action plan to avoid / or cope with them.

Nan wrote:
loud noises used to bother me. i still find them annoying, but i don't normally run out of a room anymore at sounds that other people don't find painful. when i was in my young 20s i bought a good set of headphones for my record player. i put a record on at a volume level i could stand. then, for several hours every night or several months i would slowly increase the sound level until i hit my limit, trying to go up a notch each week from there. i did try to stop before it was either at the point it would cause physical pain or hearing loss (ok, i kind of goofed on that last one, i do have some hearing loss now that i probably did cause). it took a very long time, but it got to where i could kind of zone out the louder sound and continue doing something else. i still don't like loud sound and tend to avoid it, but i can usually deal with it. (sudden loud noises are a different issue altogether, though.)

I think I will try to find ways to desensitize myself as well like you did. thanks again! you give very good advice!

Nan wrote:
what i'm trying to say, i guess, is that you sometimes might have to improvise finding ways to compensate or desensitize yourself, and it may not always be possible. look at ways you can adapt, because the world will not adapt to you. you may not be able to compensate for everything, but 1) this will give you some sense of control over your world and 2) you might find out you can do more along these lines than you think you can.


I'm realizing the way i coped as a child was very helpful so I'm going to start doing some of the things i did back then, like listening to music to calm down so i don't melt down. and other things. But what you wrote above is basically what I'm trying to do overall. so I can get on with my life and be more productive.

Nan wrote:
another thing that may give you some comfort is that the outside sensory things bothered me less and less the older i got.

That is very good to know I hope it is the same with me.
Nan wrote:
good luck.


Thanks!



just-me
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17 Jul 2009, 9:44 pm

sorry its taking so long to respond to all your posts. Ive been super busy and i only had time to answer 1 post. I'll do more later.
Thanks for being patent. :D



just-me
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18 Jul 2009, 4:22 am

ILoveMusic wrote:
I remember feeling like I was probably going to have to kill myself if I couldn't find another way to earn a living that didn't involve sitting in an office all day long with other people. It pretty much took up every ounce of my energy just to make it through each workday.

Since then, I have managed to find quite a bit of relief from the workday situation by being self-employed as an affiliate marketer. Being someone with many aspie traits, it really feels like a great career fit - I've never been happier in any other working situation. I work from home and have very little interraction with other people. And when I do, it's always through email.

What the business consists of in a nutshell: 1) develop a good website or blog about a certain topic 2) get visitors to your website and then 3) display ads (such as seen here on WrongPlanet) or promote related products or services on your site and collect a commission from it each time a visitor buys through one of your links. You won't make money overnight, but with consistent effort over several years you might be able to make a living from it.

You seem to be able to express yourself fairly well via writing, so it sounds to me like this might be something you could consider or look into if the work/job situation is getting you down. I'm so sorry to hear about your sensory issues - don't know what advice to offer there, but I hope this suggestion will be of some help in sharing with you a possible alternative way to earn a living.
That's a cool job! Perhaps when I am more able to do stuff i will peruse that.



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18 Jul 2009, 4:29 am

Callista wrote:
A lot of us wind up with depression after long-term stress associated with Asperger's. The solution is often to alleviate the stress, but the depression itself can be problematic on its own if it's bad enough.

Ive always been depressed. It seems normal to me. I cry at least once a day.
my boyfriend helps me to calm down he is a great help to me. I'm slowly resolving my issues that cause my depression and slowly I'm becoming less depressed.

Callista wrote:
No wonder you like being awake at night, though; it's quieter. Whatever sleep cycle you have, it needs to be regular, and your bedroom needs to be pitch dark when you sleep. (I'm talking, close the door, stuff the cracks in the door with towels, put blackout curtains on the window--not just blinds, but metallic foil or three layers of quilts... If you're going to sleep during the day, that is the only way you will get adequate sleep.
Yes I use good blinds.
My mom laughs it looks night in my room . I also have a sleeping mask and ear plugs i sleep with.



Spokane_Girl

18 Jul 2009, 4:31 am

Yur profile says you're 122, now was that a typo?



just-me
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18 Jul 2009, 4:44 am

[quote="Spokane_Girl"]
Would sport bras be the solution? Sometimes my bra gets uncomfy in the back so I reach behind inside my shirt and fix it because sometimes because where it hooks gets out of place and I don't like the feeling and when the hooks are touching my skin. I can actually feel it because it starts itching. I don't know if all women can. Sometimes when the under wire digs into my skin, I use toilet paper to put it under there for padding. [quote]
I'm currently wearing a wireless bra it seems more comfy. So perhaps your on to something.


[quote="Spokane_Girl"]
I don't know. It's hard to know because I am not there to see it or know how hard you have tried to get through it. The way you described your experiance, it doesn't sound like laziness at all and sounds like you have tried but you can't think of any solutions to help yourself. I think most of this is due to very bad sensory issues you have so is there any treatment for it you can get? Can a doctor help you, is there pills to lower the sensory system so you won't get so overwhelmed?[quote]
I am getting sensory integration therapy. I'm also going to work on desensitizing myself with the help of suggestions on this thread.



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18 Jul 2009, 7:11 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
I just thought everyone felt the same but thought how could people stand tight jeans on them.

lol before i realized what sensory issues were i thought exactly the same thing!



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18 Jul 2009, 7:15 pm

Spokane_Girl wrote:
Yur profile says you're 122, now was that a typo?


LoL i did it on purpose to see if anyone would notice. I thought it was funny. :lol:

I'm actually 22



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18 Jul 2009, 7:36 pm

SteveeVader wrote:
he just me thanks for annotating and replying

your welcome. I try to respond to everyone because I think its so nice that so many people want to help. You don't find this very often and its so nice that you all care!

SteveeVader wrote:
ou're sensory issues sound horrible, in the case for your experience as I imagine it would effect your stress levels highly maybe what a differet pster said about meds would benefit you I think if your extreme sensory issues were controlled I think it would drasticall change your stress leves because other than that there is nothing really to worry about


Yes it is very stressful. It was really bad as a kid I would tear all my cloths off and that was not good. luckily i got over that :lol:

I don't go out much because cloths are uncomfortable . When I'm home i never wear anything other then night cloths. I also dont go out because people bug me. I have so many sensory issues with people. When they talk with there hands, when its to quiet i hear there lips smacking and it is only seconds before i feel like having a meltdown.

In terms of meds. they don't work for me and i wont ever go back on them . I can tell you why if you want. its because of some nasty side effects . I can go into detail if your curious.

SteveeVader wrote:
remember in terms of interaction one rule I find that helps is just to take it slow and just take things as they come and try not to worry


Im currently working on that. I'm realizing i cant help being the way i am and i shouldn't stress over something i cant change. If people don't like it oh well.

I'm also trying to be more impulsive because i don't worry as much when I'm that way. This, in-turn calms down my OCD.



SteveeVader wrote:
iyou asked me about my friends reactions well luckily enough allmy friends well my three housemates have special needs I know it sounds crazy, my best friend Aspie and Adam is Dysphraxic and Martin is Dsdlexic I actually have talked to him and I seriously think he has AS the traits are very obvious
My 3 female friends Maria is visually impaired lik I am aand Claire and Chrissy are fine but they are very extroverted and love movies and comics which are y interests as does maria so in terms of friendship I think I was at the right place at the right time and they are the most enduring friends ever because when I stress I worry constantly and tak about the situation I think it annoys them but they calm me down an it works usually lol

I think this is the key for me making friends.1 of the 2 friends i have has sensory issues. She is much older then me but is a loyal friend who understands what I'm going through.

SteveeVader wrote:
I hope your sensory training goes well cus it must be daunting my snses pla up now and then especially with light but I am a really carefree person I get it from my father lol who is aspie I think but keep responding hehe I really want to see how its goes as I guess that your are in your 20s


I hope it goes well too. I'm going to try some things on my own as well, based on the advice given here. I'm working on being myself more because when im myself my problems naturally lessen so i think i have some coping skills already i just need to use them.



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18 Jul 2009, 8:07 pm

willmark wrote:
just-me wrote:
pensieve wrote:
Your sensory issues sound really severe. Have you tried any music therapy for that?

Yes my sensory issues are very bad. What is music therapy?

It is utilizing music and musical activities to accomplish therapeutic goals. Its a known fact that the nerve impulses of hearing enters the brain through the mid brain, so it is possible with many people to accomplish changes at a subconscious level. My college degree was in Music Therapy, but I ended up working as a computer programmer. At the time I graduated from college, but paid much better than Music Therapy. I am not sure how one would go about using Music Therapy to improve sensory issues. Maybe its about desensitizing you to it, or learning to not respond to it fearfully, I don't know.


sounds interesting!



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18 Jul 2009, 8:49 pm

Tantybi wrote:
I've heard many people state that they have given Melatonin to autistic children who have difficulty sleeping. It does work, but I have to wait till my daughter is tired. I guess Melatonin is something your body naturally creates (especially in darkness which is why many people like to sleep in a dark room) that helps them fall asleep. It doesn't, however, make you tired. But they do sell it in pills and liquid (and I've heard of this mythical spray) in the natural pills area of the drug store (like where you'd find vitamins). But, this is in the States.

I live in the USA, I'll have to try it.


Tantybi wrote:
I should also add that everybody has a natural inclination to adapt to their environment. If your environment is always your home, then you will have a hard time adapting to the world outside of your home (like a workplace). Don't attempt to hit social environments full force... it really needs to be something you ween yourself to. I have noticed that being a stay at home mom for the last several years has made it very difficult for me to be in public situations. My best friend told me for years that I'm not Aspergers, but i was in the public more often than not years ago. Then I started staying home all the time when I had kids, but I was thousands of miles away from my friend for about 2 years, then I moved back home and we didn't hang out that much at first until about now. Now, she sees it, and I think it's because I'm not in the public that much, like being home all the time allowed myself to let a lot more of my qualities show.


I will try going out more perhaps this will help me some.

Thanks!



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18 Jul 2009, 8:51 pm

activebutodd wrote:
I read something on here about ASDs having inconsistent depths and it made sense. To use a metaphor, I'm competent enough to knit my own socks on a good day - but if I'm having a bad day, I'm also capable of leaving the knitting on the floor, tripping on it and getting the needles stuck in my foot. So it really depends on the day and my level of functioning at that time, and what ways you've found to manage.


Yes ive found that to be very true. I'm going to try to see if anything in my environment is causing it to worsen or better.



seebert
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20 Jul 2009, 6:12 pm

just-me wrote:
Oh meds really don't work for me. I was on them from age 3 till i was 18. I find my sensory issues makes me very sensitive to there effects. I never got any bennifet from them and i was on almost all of them.

I'm glad they work for you but they don't help me at all. In fact they do a lot of harm. I ended up needing surgery because of one med side effect.


Well, then, one non-med breakthrough I've read about may help more- it's one I've begun researching for myself and my wife's daycare. It's called a Snoezelens Room- a multi-sensory room where every environmental aspect, from music to lighting to temperature to touch, is under control and adjustable. It sounds like a nice variation from renting a sensdep tank.