10 things you want NTs to know

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Joined: 9 Sep 2009
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23 Nov 2009, 5:06 pm

When people say "As usual" to me, it kinda irritates me and i don't know why?
But what I also want a NT to know is that just because im different, it doesn't stop me from being who i'am at the end of the day.

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chelischili7
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23 Nov 2009, 6:16 pm

-Don't sneak up on me and startle me, then tell me I must have a guilty conscience when I jump 3 feet in the air. Your assumptions really anger me and hurt me. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time.

-If I ask you if something is okay, give me an honest answer. Don't tell me something is okay, than get angry about it when I do something. I had a friend who told me that I could share my stresses with her, and she said she was perfectly okay with it. She used to do the same with me.

-Don't take advantage of me. I will do anything I can to help you, but it hurts when someone you trust takes advantage of you.

-Don't tell me that you are okay with my AS, then hurt me because of it. I rarely tell people about it but I told one person about it. Then she broke up our friendship because of Aspergian traits I have.

CockneyRebel
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23 Nov 2009, 9:23 pm

I hate girlie things, like hair, guys and make-up.

You will never make me stop liking the 60s.

I can't stand to be yelled at.

I don't want a sexy body, a boyfriend or sex.

I will not go to speech thearapy and lose my Cockney accent.

I quite like being mistaken for the opposite sex.

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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 4:08 am

The hidden meanings thing is one of the biggest things I would like explained.

I do not like to say things I don't mean, and I'm prone to taking people literally, though it amuses me when I know better.

The noises thing too, if you tap your pencil one more time on the desk, I'm going to embed it in your left ear... I'd rather not.

Eggman
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24 Nov 2009, 4:50 am

I dont want to think like you

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justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 4:59 am

Even more, I can't in some ways.

I've been trying to explain across three threads on another forum.

I'm not just saying I lack beliefs to get people riled up, I'm saying it because I can not do it. It requires lying to myself to even try, and that hurts after a while.

I'm too literal, Aspy thing, they're like "that's nice, but you have to have beliefs to operate!"

TheDoctor82
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24 Nov 2009, 5:03 am

DonkeyBuster wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:

Absolutely! I hate and avoid any kind of shopping - I actually have male friends that are girlier, sentimental and more emotional than me.

As far as NT's are concerned - there actually ARE things far more important and entertaining than parties, social gatherings and respectability. I'm not interested in it nor do I want to be emotionally manipulated and coerced to anyone's will. If you don't understand, please leave me alone - I'm not clingy nor am i an attention whore. Please respect the fact that I don't do conformities, obligations etc that are not crucial and vital for survival.

And I don't care about anyone's weight problem, hair problems, chronic relationship problems, fashion issues, or what Sarah Palin OR Oprah Winfrey is up to these days. I am just not going to be there for you while you verbally weigh the pros and cons of breast feeding your latest spawn. I will not join you in your self-indulgent emotional spasm over the latest dead animal on the road.

If you need someone who's facial contortions constantly reassure you that you are a nice, good, worthy-of-the-next-breath person, get a therapist. I was not put on this planet to mollify anyone's flipping insecurities other than my own.

If I don't meet your gaze, it's because you're so freaking needy and I'm not wanting to get sucked into your bottomless need for external reassurance and chaotic emotional addictions. Big surprise... I've found there's nothing in it for me but constant exposure to conversational topics with all the depth of a People magazine.

love that last part...PRICELESS!! !! !! !! !! !!

anslinger
Butterfly

Joined: 16 Nov 2009
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24 Nov 2009, 12:35 pm

I've got three.

-Your values are wrong. Not just different from mine, but wrong.

-I don't give you a hard time about it, please show me the same courtesy.

-Mind your own business.

Locustman
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24 Nov 2009, 1:18 pm

Please don't try and involve me in a conversation about "The X Factor", because unlike (seemingly) 99.9% of Britain's population, I'm not interested. :lol:

Please don't break me off when I'm in the middle of doing something and ask me to do something else. This causes stress and confusion.

Please don't make plans to do something or go somewhere and then cancel at the last minute for no better reason than "I don't feel like going out". The friendship will not survive too many letdowns and mixed messages like this. If I walked into a shop, stole a bottle of wine, got arrested and told the store detectives "I don't feel like paying for this item", would it exonerate me from charges? I think not. So don't steal my time - contrary to what you might assume, it isn't less valuable than yours.

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Locustman
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24 Nov 2009, 1:40 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:

You will never make me stop liking the 60s.

me neither. When it comes to 60s music I could bore for Britain (except it wouldn't be boring to me, of course).

I wonder if there's any connection between being aspie and not feeling any urge to conform to gender stereotypes? I'm a bloke and I quite like shopping, but football bores me senseless.

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Last edited by Locustman on 26 Nov 2009, 12:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Locustman
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24 Nov 2009, 1:42 pm

chelischili7 wrote:

-Don't tell me that you are okay with my AS, then hurt me because of it. I rarely tell people about it but I told one person about it. Then she broke up our friendship because of Aspergian traits I have.

Understood. I've lost far too many people whom I wrongly thought I could entrust with that information, so nowadays my policy is to keep schtum about it unless it's absolutely necessary.

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Last edited by Locustman on 26 Nov 2009, 12:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ursaminor
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24 Nov 2009, 3:00 pm

I don't like explaining things more than one time. If I have to explain something more than once, I lose some respect for you.
I despise 'normal' neurotypical behaviour.
I think learning is one of, if not the most important things in life.
I have very little patience.
I can be very direct if I don't like what you're doing.
And as some have already mentioned, there are some sounds I just can't bear to hear, they almost literally hurt in my head. Sometimes I need to be overly stimulated to concentrate or relax.
I can't be motivated to learn anything about something I'm not interested in.
I think social conventions are useless and will most likely not react the way you would think is appropriate.
I have things I am very strong about, and if I can't do these things I get very upset.

Last edited by ursaminor on 25 Nov 2009, 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Janissy
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24 Nov 2009, 3:43 pm

ursaminor wrote:

I am very intolerant of people I perceive as less intelligent than me, I simply can't work with or talk to these people.
.

IQ Elitism. Ugly.

justMax
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24 Nov 2009, 4:36 pm

Yeah, I don't get IQ superiority beliefs, I feel the urge to teach anyone who doesn't grasp something I do.

Though it is specifically those things they show some curiosity in.

I most love to teach people physics, but if I avoided everyone who didn't get it like I do, I'd be a hermit...

ursaminor
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24 Nov 2009, 5:06 pm

Janissy wrote:

ursaminor wrote:

I am very intolerant of people I perceive as less intelligent than me, I simply can't work with or talk to these people.
.

IQ Elitism. Ugly.

Thank you for pointing out that I feel that I'm worth more than people who are less intelligent than me. Oh wait. I meant, and you would know this if you didn't just read that bit but the entire post, that I can't stand it when someone doesn't grasp a concept immediately. I can't work with these people because I like to keep my thouhts running smoothly. I can't do that when I have to explain something to someone. Like now.

kingtut3
Deinonychus

Joined: 18 Aug 2009
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Posts: 354

24 Nov 2009, 5:07 pm

I don't know how to explain this one. Stop telling us that you go through the exact same problems. Sure NT's can have similar struggles as people with Asperger's, such as figuring dating out. The difference is that people with Asperger's have an actual impairment as opposed to a difficulty

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