has anyone here gone to a party before?

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I have been to birthday parties as a child, but other than that, no.

Let me get this straight:

You're 19.
You're female.
You don't drive or otherwise have reliable transportation.
You've met the host once or twice.
There's going to be lots of alcohol.
You've been told you have to stay over.

I don't care if you have autism / AS or not; this sounds like a potentially very dangerous situation. I would stay as far away from this as possible. Seems like there's lots of things that could happen here, and none of them are good.

Now, on to what you actually asked:

Parties are places where there's an expectation that you do what everybody else is doing -- eating, drinking, (smoking), small talk-ing, dancing, kissing -- and that you will have a good time doing it. To me, parties are aspie nightmares. There are too many people behaving in very unpredictable ways. Even if there's someone halfway rational to talk with for awhile, I never seem to know what to say, and then if I get going (fantasy football? motorcycles?) I end up talking way too much and they run away.

I was completely miserable at the last party I went to, in spite of the fact that the neighbors are genuinely nice people. I lasted about half an hour, and it took me about two days to regain my equilibrium. It absolutely was not worth it, even to fulfill the social nicety of "putting in an appearance."

Quoting blastoff

Because I have a friend who's social enough for three people I've been to a few parties. Honestly I've always found them really boring and I usually feel very alone at them. I"m assuming it's the way I conduct myself that people seem to either not notice I'm there or just kinda avoid me.

Still, I agree with the others who think this could be a potentially dangerous situation. The fact alone that you're female means that you might be getting more attention that would probably want. Well, that and how since you don't really know anyone who's gonna be there. It just seems like there's just too much that could possibly go wrong. Especially if you attract the wrong kind of attention.

Haven't read any of the thread but looking at the last few anyone would think parties were actually inherently dangerous. Anyway, it'll be a good idea to go to one or two parties in the run up to this one just to get some practice in, the party season is just beginning so there should be a few to go to.
New years eve is the biggest party of the year and if you're inexperienced it may be a bit much. You may not be able to speak to your friend much especially if he's the host so maybe ask someone along to keep you company if you can. Doing a little reading on body language and small talk will help enormously, small talk is all that really happens at parties apart from drinking/smoking and finding someone to get off with.

I've been to shedloads.

Depends on who is there tbh and whether you're in the mood.

I was supposed to go to one last night but I was sick. People kept texting me telling me to come out.. Noooo >_<

From my experience there isn't a lot of kissing at parties. People generally get told to get a room. Don't get hung up about the dangers of parties... I mean why would you? If they are real friends you're with, they won't let anything happen to you. Its not like its a bunch of complete strangers. Have fun, get in there and enjoy it.

If it's with strangers. Limit your alcohol intake. I don't see why anyone would want to party with strangers or people they hardly know in the first place /shrug

Theres nothing more annoying than people stressing over thoughts of their drinks being drugged or being taken advantage of. It's not attractive or fun and people don't like it.

I've been to several parties in adulthood. Here are the ones I remember, in reverse order, off the top of my head:


2009 - Someone's 60th birthday. I spent it being the camera operator and showing photos of my art to a woman who, in turn, confided all her medical problems.

2007 - Someone's 60th birthday. I spent it hiding out alone in one of the bedrooms doing a jigsaw puzzle, unable to face anyone.

2007 - Family BBQ. I actually ate beside some young adults and replied when they asked questions. I spent the next few hours ignoring everyone and doing crosswords.

2007 - Someone's 30th birthday. I spent it hiding out in a side room out of everyone's way or being the camera operator.

2007 - Some random person's birthday. I sat down for a few minutes, decided it was too loud, then left.

2004 - Went to a party with my ex in a community hall and set up the PC for the music (that was the highlight for me). Sat beside the PC most of the time.

2004 - An ex held a Mexican themed party. I sat quietly watching for most of it, then towards the end got handcuffed to a couple of people for a photo. Slept on the sofa and ended up kissing someone.

2003 - New Year's at my old university. I spent it observing others; my only proper interaction was applying make-up to my ex's face. When everyone celebrated the New Year, I got ignored, so just found a shelf to sit on in a deserted, claustrophobic corridoor and played with my phone settings. Left early.

2003 - Got persuaded by my ex to attend a house party, even though I was ill. I spent it curled up alone on a sofa and sleeping alone in a stranger's bed.

2001 - New Year's party with my ex and his friends. I was not used to drinking and got ill; however, before getting ill, I recall going onto the campus green a few times in the dark and dancing around or something.

2001 - Went to a house party with my ex. Spent it curled up on the sofa barely interacting with anyone.

2001 - Went to a student club with my ex and his friends for my birthday. Spoke to no one and spent the entire evening curled up with my head hidden.

2000 - New Year's party with my ex and his friends. I remember just sitting around with a glass of wine, feeling cold and sometimes commenting.

1996 - Went to a pub for my ex's birthday. He was late so I sat among his friends saying nothing. His best friend decided to bear hug me. My ex turned up and mostly ignored me, then I left after a few minutes.

Some parties are fun, some not. Most of them are too loud for my tastes. No one will force you to drink and if you want to avoid being kissed, just step outside at 11:55 pm and don't go back in for about 15 minutes.

Purely symbolic, but I always greet the New Year alone.

I have been to parties, but I typically don't enjoy them. I just find them boring because there's "nothing to do" at them. I'm an activities person so unless there's something to do that centers around something I'm interested in or find entertaining, I'll just be bored. Now, get a bunch of people together for a board game night or something and that's a lot of fun.

I know the thread is a year old but it's the only one I could find to write this in.

The only parties I have been invited to was little birthday parties when I was a little kid. I used to love them. But the only teenage/adult party I was invited to was my cousin's 17th birthday last year, which was in a hall full of loud rowdy teenagers - and I did not enjoy that one little bit. Also I had the runs that night (my mum said it was nerves), and I was holding it in the whole time and feeling really sick and unwell....I'm not going through that again.
I hate parties - I am not a party person. Even though I wish I was, I am not, and I never will be. It's no good forcing myself to go to a party, because it is not my enjoyment. It's just common sense not to go to something you don't enjoy, unless you choose to want to.

I don't want to go to a party no more than flying. Forcing me to put myself through a boring night at a loud party will be just like forcing me to put myself through a jungle with man-eating tigers. Party people may not eat me like a tiger, but they will eat me up emotionally, if that makes sense.