Do You Get Told To "Smile" All The Time?

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In the past, I was often told to smile and given long lectures from my parents about how not smiling was destroying my future.

Also my sister would say things like "come on, chin up, stop feeling bad." Ironically, she was later diagnosed with depression and institutionalized voluntarily not once but twice, and put on medications. She has always been something of a hypocrite and a purveyour of double standards. Apparently, it's not OK for me too feel bad but it's OK for her. Go figure.

If you point out her double standards, hypocrisy, etc., she won't deny she did it, she'll simply say "well that's different" and if you ask her how and why it is different she says "shut up."

I don't think very highly of her.

I've been told that I looked miserable when I was actually deeply contemplative.
I was actually offended by these comments, even though perhaps I shouldn't have been.

I have been asked if I'm 'alright' if I say nothing, have a neutral expression and do my own thing on my own.
People expect me to be with other people a lot of the time, especially women.


So apparently, in order to be 'alright' you have to talk incessantly to people and smile at them constantly.

There seems to be a constant expectation and pressure to do so.

I can see why not smiling would put people off.
I'm not immune from seeing genuinely smiling people as helpful and friendly.
I enjoy people's company when they smile.

I've also met plenty of nice helpful people, who didn't smile at me every second.
I just accepted them as they were.


Perhaps some people think that alone and unsmiley automatically equals miserable and lost.

This isn't always the case, though I appreciate why some people might be concerned.

People don't tell me to smile too often. If they do, it's usually just once; I guess I look annoyed enough for them to not repeat the request often.

However, a lot of people do tell me I look sad. It doesn't matter if I actually am sad or not; it seems I look like it all the time. I've had people randomly offer me tissues, like I'm about to burst into tears, when I'm not even feeling the least bit bad.

On second thoughts, I think I will just blurt in future, if someone wants to give me advice on smiling.

Perfect timing for me to come inside and read this. I'd been told earlier in the day that I looked really unhappy when I was out in the garden. The stupid thing is that I started to believe that was the case.

Great to come back to the forums here and be reminded about who I am.

Thanks.

yup...in high school, one teacher would always come up and say "smile" or "why arent you smiling"?
Thankfully, I dont get that alot in college

LOL..only once by one instructor, but thats cuz she was taking a picture of me..so I didnt mind.Shes a great instructor.

I used to always get told that - now I'm more likely to be told I smile to much or at inappropriate moments

My default facial expression is a slightly downturned mouth AND I'm a woman, so I get this a lot it's just that people stopped saying it to my face when I grew up.

But, when I was a little girl, the school secretaries would always get on my case:

"Oh, Lizzie! You never smile! What's wrong!?" (one even called my mom about this... I was kind of a teachers' pet so if anything ever needed to be delivered to the office, I was the one to go)

Uh... I'm not NOT happy... this is just my neutral expression, you gossipy b*****s. Do I have to s**t rainbows for you c***s to think I'm not getting beaten at home?

Yep, I've gotten quite a few of those through the years...

Yes, either that or "What's wrong with you?" The problem with the latter is that even though I may not be in a bad mood, being asked that question puts me in a bad mood, so it becomes sort of a self-fulfilling prophesy (though it's not really a prophesy, it's just a statement...you know what I mean). And I can grin, but the sight of an actual smile on my face exists in the gray area between goofy and frightening.

However, I do get people who think I look serene; that always makes me happy.

Yeah, apparently my default expression is a mixture of scary, angry, and sad.

I'm also pretty much incapable of smiling at or making eye contact with other men at all...

i get this all the time and it's never people who know me. nope, random strangers on the street will come up to me and ask "why are you sad," "what's wrong?" "come on, smile!" and "it can't be that bad."

usually this happens when i'm not sad. i feel like telling them that my mother just died or something. maybe then they'll stop making assumptions. for all they know i have just cause to be sad.