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chibi555
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31 May 2011, 10:25 pm

My grandparents always tried to change me when I was little.
I have always had akward social skills, so I only had 1 friend till about 4th grade.
They would practically throw me at social oppertunities, school, church, what ever.
The funnier part is that when I did make friends, who BTW are just as eccentric as I am, they didn't like them! :lol:
But it wasn't only the social part that bothered them. My attitude/ apperance (child like) displeased them, views on honesty, most every thing that made me me they disliked. They even tried to change my hand writing because they didn't think it was fancy enough! :lol:
For a few years I just plain ignored them. I was like "You know what? skip it! I don't care what you think", which worked for a while.
But after my diagnosis they (slowly) began to see that they couldn't change those things.
At first they were shocked that I wasn't depressed like they were (got scolded about that too), I was happy, to know that I wan't crazy and that there were others like me. :P
My grandma doesn't try to change me now (exept on the whole organization issue). My grandpa, well, he is doing better on it. :roll:
I'm just happy to be able to be myself a little more. :)



CockneyRebel
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31 May 2011, 11:49 pm

My mum hated the idea that I was turning out to be like sensitive, male Mick Avory instead of like what you'd expect the tough and mouthy girl next door would be like. She told me that she didn't think the Mod thing was working for me, anymore. She forced me into the local Mental Health system and she talked me into buying clothes that were more feminine than what I would care to wear. I'm talking clothes that fit the form of the adult female body. I didn't wear any of those clothes, anyways. She even put me down about the way that my personality and emotional fabric was forming.

My dad asked what if the hippie thing did work for me. I freaked out on the inside, because to be a hippie would be a sex change for me. I prided myself on being a masculine Mod.

I didn't sleep that whole entire summer. How could I sleep, if I knew that my parents didn't accept me as I truly was back than, and as I am today. I cried for an hour each night in the beginning of this whole ordeal. I cried because I knew that my parents didn't accept me as I was/am.

They've long since backed off. I wish that I would have gone from Routemasters back to being a Mod, without all that Punk Rock nonsense. I would have drove my relentlessly normal parents crazy. If I could live the past 4 years of my life over again, I'd do just that and I'd be honest with my optometrist, so that I wouldn't need glasses. I'd do that after traveling back to 2007 and rub it in my mum's face how much I grew up to be like Mick.


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Mummy_of_Peanut
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01 Jun 2011, 5:13 am

My parents never felt the need to change me as, in their eyes, I was nearly perfect. Even today, they say that I've never given them an ounce of worry in my whole life. The fact that I was intelligent and law abiding meant that they were happy. They were oblivious to any emotional concerns.



ScientistOfSound
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01 Jun 2011, 5:53 am

Not really... I have quite liberal parents so they let me make my own choices (within reason)



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01 Jun 2011, 5:57 am

Yeah by making me hang around my sister and her friends and by teasing me when I did something that wasn't normal.

I still get made fun of, pressured to socialise and yelled at quite a lot for being different.


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OJani
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01 Jun 2011, 9:56 am

My parents basically have liberal thinking, so most of the time they let me be what I was. My father is aspish, so he left the majority of the hardship with upbringing a child to my mother, who is the most NT in our family, and a teacher herself.

My mother did most of the nagging, forcing me to go down to the playground, to eat regularly, to dress well, to read classic novels besides sci-fi, to be tidier, to wash myself, explained me lots of things in life I didn't understand, told me to be always honest and respectful, always asked what has happened in the school, insisting on me saying something other than "nothing".

They tolerated me in many respects, picking nose, spending a lot of time in my room where they wasn't allowed to burst in suddenly (thus making me freak out), and not always making eye contact. I was asked to make eye contact only when I talked to non family members, not that I did it too much.


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tomboy4good
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01 Jun 2011, 10:17 am

My mother tried to change me the moment she noticed I was doing anything differently from her expectations. She wasn't gentle about it either. 1st thing she noticed is that I was turning into a lefty, after that I was a constant disappointment. She grew to hate me & my quirks as I constantly embarrassed her (she was perfect, I was decidedly over the top imperfect). Dad probably has AS too & he was a little more forgiving on some stuff, but he could also be verbally & physically abusive to me too. By the time I got to my twelfth year, they went the other way & ignored me unless I did something that upset them & then I mostly got verbally abused. I did however have to work for them, & because they considered me to be personal property, I had no choice but to do their will. I just wanted them to be happy & hated arguing with them & the friction, so I mostly went along, even if what they wanted me to do caused me physical pain. They got on with their own lives doing more or less what they wanted to do when they wanted to do it. I was out of the loop, & had little parental guidence from that point forward. Dad told me recently that once I got to age 12, I didn't really need parents anyway. 8O Oh really? I don't know many young kids moving out & living on their own at that age....they still need input & guidence from family members.

Tomboy


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jrjones9933
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01 Jun 2011, 10:41 am

Mom found something to criticize in my behavior every time I told her about my day at school, so I learned to tell her as little as possible. She actually had some useful instructions, but I resented her methods and couldn't see her rationale, so I mostly did what I wanted to do and said what I wanted to say. Dad appreciated my personality more, but avoided all conflicts and tried to teach me the same, rather than teaching me to handle conflict or agression.

Overall, I appreciate their ethical instruction, but I wish they'd had a more diverse range of methods, or had a clue about my disability. I expect they did a top-notch job, relative to other parents, but my perfectionist tendencies caused me to focus for years only on their shortcomings.


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Ellytoad
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01 Jun 2011, 10:54 am

Never actively. But my mom has told me things like, "you have the personality of a serial killer because you are such a loner" and "you are not the girl I thought you would be." It's her way of trying to scare me into changing myself.



OJani
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01 Jun 2011, 11:06 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
Overall, I appreciate their ethical instruction, but I wish they'd had a more diverse range of methods, or had a clue about my disability. I expect they did a top-notch job, relative to other parents, but my perfectionist tendencies caused me to focus for years only on their shortcomings.

Exactly. It wasn't that explicit, but I've been this way for long.



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01 Jun 2011, 11:47 am

I sure hope I come close to Mick Avory. Him and I have similar autistic traits.


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Last edited by CockneyRebel on 02 Jun 2011, 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

ocdgirl123
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01 Jun 2011, 9:15 pm

No they didn't. However, my elementary school did.



AdamBacon
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01 Jun 2011, 9:36 pm

My son has social deficit, but I don't want to change him.
I rather want to understand how he feels so both he and I can learn and advance social skills together.



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01 Jun 2011, 10:31 pm

Mine still do.



CockneyRebel
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02 Jun 2011, 12:03 am

I admit I had a bit of a blow up earlier on in this thread. I'm not going to change the entire post. I'll just take the word, hell out of it.


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02 Jun 2011, 2:12 am

Did your parents try to change you?

Oh hell yes!
The problem was that they were so inconsistent AND assumed I was being difficult on purpose that not much came of their clumsy yet hysterical efforts.
It was mostly in the form of berating, screaming, and smacking me.