Are you really autistic? my thoughts on this

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This topic of questioning everyone's intentions is starting to ruin WP for me. I like being anonymous, and giving advice and sharing my experiences, but if everyone is just judging me or thinking that I'm trying to be "cool" then maybe I don't want to be here anyway. I'm fairly new to WP and post TOO MUCH so I guess I am taking this very personally.

I asked my mom today if I was normal as a young child and she said "No, not the norm, you cried a lot and you were a loner. You didn't really have any friends but you had your brother and sister so I didn't worry about you." She couldn't put me in day care because I would cry the whole time, so I always knew that I had some type of separation anxiety. My first year of school was the same way. I just cried and cried.

This reminds me of the way the "original" Twilighter's feel about how the movies have been embraced by pop culture, and the people who like it NOW are just loser followers.... Kind of a dumb comparison, but it just shows how "normal" this kind of judgemental attitude is. I mean I'm sure there are lonely kids on here who don't feel like they fit anywhere so they try to belong here, but why not have compassion for them? Oh right, because you lack empathy? I don't know. This is just getting irritating, because everyone feels the need to defend themselves and their right to be on an internet forum. (This isn't directed at you glider.)

Hi FaithHopeCheese---I am on your side with this too. My purpose of this thread is to say that we should not be made to doubt our diagnosis. There have been several threads lately that have implied that some members are faking autism and that others may think they are autistic just for the purpose of trying to force a diagnosis. So I wanted to make a thread to speak against those threads. Like you, I am getting tired of posts suggesting there are several making up their diagnosis---this causes unnecessary doubts in members. I am glad I am not the only one tired of this.

The members of the WrongPlanet should support the members of the WrongPlanet in a positive way and not in a way that is insulting to our intelligence. We should respect one another. Even autism is not an excuse for that kind of behavior.

I for one am also tired of it too. It gets old and it doesn't get to me anymore, I just get annoyed by it. I do admit it does make me cringe and feel uneasy and put off by those people. I put on the don't care attitude because how many aspies have been accused of not having it? A lot. I just don't let it get to me.

Thank you Spokane_Girl---I am glad you are tired of it too. That's why I made this thread---I was tired of it. So I wanted to show my respect and support to all of our members and say that I (and many others here) believe in the legitmacy of the membership.

Glider18, thank you for that post. I must confess that I've been put off by the posts suggesting that I might not be able to accurately diagnose myself. Trust me, I'd rather find a suitable professional to do that. But I'm new to the idea of Asperger's or HFA, and although I'm new, I have learned a lot elsewhere on the internet and here, and everything I learn leads me to feel more strongly that this is the answer I've been seeking all my life.

Who can know me more thoroughly than I know myself? All I can do with a pro is tell them what I remember (my parents are now both deceased -- my dad died on Friday at 86). I'm not very good at talking, especially to professionals, since I always feel rushed, and there's just so much to tell -- some of it I'm sure I'm not even aware is important. There's so much I've seen here that reminded me of aspects of myself I hadn't seen before.

As an example, I had to really look at myself in a new light to see how literal I am sometimes, though I've adapted very well over time. I love fiction, fantasy, dreams, etc. So I've dealt with non-literal ideas and images for my whole life. Yet I find there are concepts I can't wrap my mind around and that they are instances where I haven't been able to get past a literal approach. I remember as a small child thinking that there was no way Santa Claus could fit through our chimney, or that the Tooth Fairy could possibly know I'd lost a tooth. Religion made me want to see the wise old man everyone called God. But all of that fascinated me just the same. I wanted to know more about why people believed these things -- thus my special interest (lifelong) in religion, and my interest as an adult in psychology, especially Carl G. Jung's psychology that included the collective unconscious.

I have never gone around telling people that I have AS. The only people I've mentioned it to are my husband and sister, and only as a possibility. Here, even though I'm 99% sure this is the answer I've been seeking so long, I say in my profile that I'm not certain.

I take offense at anyone thinking they have enough information to judge me as some kind of faker or that I'm imagining this. Wow, the audacity to imagine they've been inside my head and somehow know this. Isn't that similar to how NTs treat us? Other than that, I've found lots of support and information here, and believe me I wouldn't stick around if this wasn't meaningful to me. It wouldn't be meaningful to me if I couldn't relate to it.

Hi SpiritBlooms and welcome to the WrongPlanet. I am glad you posted to my thread, and as you know, I too am put off by the threads suggesting that some of us might not have autism. When you state that everything leads you to autism as the answer you have been seeking your whole life (that is when you discovered the criteria for AS/HFA/autism) it felt like you were staring at yourself in a mirror didn't it? I know that is how I felt. I felt like I was reading my biography. And when you have that feeling, then it is pretty safe to say that "yes, you have autism." You are right---who better to know yourself than yourself. That's my thoughts exactly. By the way---I am sorry about the loss of your father. Though we never want to lose our loved ones, 86 is a long life---I hope I can live that long. I will be thinking about you in my thoughts and prayers if that is ok with you.

I agree with you in taking offense to those thinking they can judge us. Who are they to do this? Only we have lived our lives and know what is going on in our lives. You have embarked on a wonderful journey. This is a new episode in your life---an episode of self-discovery and self-understanding. I sometimes looked at the diagnostic criteria and thought of things in my life that cooresponded with the criteria. I ended up compiling numerous pages of notes on my life. I want to try to complete an autobiography (not necessarily for publishing) that I can give my sons someday. My youngest son is autistic, and we have a special bond together. He was recently chosen as the sample autistic student to represent our elementary school in an autism conference. I hope his journey in life is fun for him.

Anyway, welcome again to the WrongPlanet. I hope that your experiences here are good. I hope that you are able to learn about yourself here and get support (and offer support) as it is needed.

glider18

this is what i want from this site to. but everytime i share my experiences i have someone come in and shoot me down. sometimes i will be speaking about something that is very slightly related to being self-diagnosed and people will start accusing me of this and that and sending me private messages. i AM diagnosed and am constantly suffering attacks from self-diagnosed telling me how formal diagnosis is BS, how doctors are BS.

i think THESE threads need to go as well. why do the self-diagnosed get to toot their horns and talk crap about how getting a dx is a stupid thing to do and how all doctors are crap. everything they argue is an obvious attempt to protect their decision to self-dx with AS. they take that fact that i have seen things that dispute what they believe makes them aspie personally. even though i am not saying it to them, or at them...or anything to do with them, they still feel the need to 'rebutt' my personal experiences.

the amount of doctor bashing that goes on around this forum is appalling. especially considering all the people self-diagnosing are using tests and criterias designed by doctors. and not only that, but the disorder they're SDing was 'created' by a doctor. doctors are great when they say and do things that fit their beliefs, as soon as a doctor says something they don't like...that doctor is a shmuck or not worth their salt. how convenient!! !

like i keep saying, anyone who has read any of my posts can see i am very supportive of the self-diagnosed in real life. but the type that posts here give them a bad rep. they're so agressive and obsessed and defensive. so much so that people can't even say what they've experienced or think. they NEED to jump on it and prove people wrong. i do not understand this. people just want to talk and have a good time, yet these self diagnosed types always jump in and start fights with people who were just trying to participate for fun. they turn their fun time here into a horrible time. pandd is the main cause of this for. she knows i am not of the level of intellect she is, yet she stalks me around the forum debating EVERYTHING and ANYTHING i say with words i don't understand....she can't seem to help herself. she must know by now my intentions in posting here are just to have fun and give and receive support, yet she is CONSTANTLY trying to 'get into it' with me. she argues with my personal experiences with her interpretation of facts she has heard. i can only see the reason for this being, the things i have been through or seen others go through make her feel uncomfortable with herself. but whatever her reason is, it's horrible. i have been getting help from a wonderful member on how to deal with people like this.

but yeh, let us have our experiences and you can have yours. talk s**t about our experiences and you'll get s**t talked about yours. this double standard you're after is no good.

Last edited by 88BK on 02 Dec 2009, 10:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

One of my autistic friends tells me when he gets that crap, he tells them where did they get their doctor's degree. I think it's a funny idea. Yeah where did they get their degree from to undiagnose people on the internet? Who are they to judge, you can't tell online because you don't know them in real life.
Same as when people say AS isn't real, tell them where did they get their degree from.


Only time I find it okay to say someone doesn't have autism is if they are questioning it and asking for opinions about rather they have it or not and if they were rather misdiagnosed. Because they are asking for it and they do want our honest opinion right?

Was I talking s**t about your experiences? You quoted me, so again, I'm taking this personally....I only WISH my parents had TRIED to help me figure out what was going on with me, but they didn't, so I wandered alone with this nagging feeling that something was different about me. Well, I'm 28 now and I don't have insurance to go to therapy, or get a diagnosis, otherwise I would. At the same time, how would it help me? Could I go around telling everybody I have AS so they would let me off the hook and finally accept me? No, they should accept me, either way. I said it before the only reason I feel pressure to be be diagnosed is due to the suspicions of people on this site that the undiagnosed have bad intentions. How long do you think "Asperger's" existed before it was given a name? Perhaps your hostility is leading you into debates and misunderstandings. I'm not trying to downplay your diagnosis or the importance it has to you, I'm saying you are lucky to have an answer.

Last edited by FaithHopeCheese on 02 Dec 2009, 11:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Lol. I dont think autism was created by a doctor. It was created by Mother Nature.. a mother.

But I want to be a gorilla. Great ape is just too broad a spectrum.

If I act the best I can; if I walk on my knuckles, if I beat my chest, if I really think I am one, doesn't this mean that I am one?

It's hard being a self-diagnosed gorilla.

note: you have now extended the post i quoted above to contain things that i was not talking about, so i am not going to acknowledge them. this is NOT about you.

i only quoted that one part of your post because it described exactly what i am trying to get out of WP as well and how i want to share myexperiences too. but yeh after i mentioned that, the rest of my post was pretty much unrelated to what you said, like how i went on to say that my personal experiences were always argued with. that part isn't really related to the bit of your post i quoted. just like elaborating from my perspective i suppose. then i started rambling as i do. i used to try and keep my posts short but then it seemed like that's what was getting me trouble so now i try and post everything that i think so nobody can pretend i had any sub-meaning to my actual meaning. if that makes any sense.

yeh haha, i don't know the word i'm after. i can't like....make it come to me. do you know what i'm trying to say?? like a doctor made AS exist...like the actual...THING of AS,...ok. never mind. i can't get this one.

The ones who researched and put it into categories with a list of symptoms and a label, perhaps.

I agree, I got sick of the doctor bashing too. For the longest time, there was a lot of NT bashing on this site, and now that seems to have subsided, but there's been a rise in all doctors suck sentiments.

All doctors dont suck, but sadly some do. And people can end up going to them for years on end.. I have had a few bad experiences with professionals, and I think AS people may be particularly prone to this as it can be hard for us to communicate with a professional and if we end up with the wrong one they end up not taking us seriously, or behaving in a condescending fashion. The thing about this is, when a good professional is found, it is really worth it.