Why do NTs seem to be so afraid of being alone somewhere?

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I like the way you think Spokane Girl.

I'm quite good at functioning within NT groups providing I can balance that with time spent by myself.
I just spent Christmas Eve with members of my extended family, and when my aunt said someone had to go to the shop for some more ice, I volunteered.
One of my brothers in law offered to drive me but I said I'd walk because I knew that 40 minutes by myself would allow me to cope with a couple more hours of being polite to distant relatives who I only see every couple of years.

I also knew that I would be totally alone on Christmas Day because my wife was working a double shift at the hospital and I woulb be able to go on a long bicycle ride. Which I did (120km).

Better question: why is anyone scared of The Blair Witch Project?


Spoiler Alert: I am the scariest thing in the woods. I lived in a tent in a wooded area part-time because it was closer to where I was working at the time.

I've slept in church yards in the open alone, in trees, lived in a car because it was more comfortable to sleep with the bucket seats layed back, and it was mine. Slept on the beach under the stars when I was stranded on Martha's Vineyard once (went to meet someone from online, they didn't show up >.>) for a couple weeks, slept under the porch at a church when it rained, lived off of luck and wit.


Being alone is fun, and I give off obvious predator "I will kill and eat you" signals to wild animals, so it's all good.

I went to see a film on my own when I was about 13 years old, and saw nothing strange about doing that. I was going to go and see another one but my sister felt so sorry for me that she came along with me I must have picked up the idea that it wasn't the done thing to go to a cinema alone......I guess mainstream society sees it as a sign that the person can't make any friends, which makes them suspicious (good people are supposed to be popular aren't they?) and possibly they use it as a reason to assign low status to the person concerned.....mainstream society seems to love a hierarchy.

I have to admit that I prefer to share good films with others though. Just that it's not an essential factor for me. I should also admit that the thought of spending the rest of my life without friends scares me quite a bit.

oh quit that. we are not superior to them, stop acting like it. the same goes for everyone else with an aspies-are-holier-than-thou-complex.

Speaking as an NT, the reason most don't go to events alone is fear. We take comfort in arriving somewhere with a friend because it gives us someone to talk to, to bounce idea's off, and because other people won't see us alone. Being seen alone is fear-inducing because other people think it's strange. ESPECIALLY in a social situation.

In addition, being alone usually means that you will then need to find a group to 'be' with once you're there. The more difficult it would be to find a niche in a bunch of strangers, the less likely a NT will want to go to such an event.

In social situations, movies, parties, concerts - you are supposed to be with people. Ask an NT if they are 'afraid' to go to the library alone when they have an exam to study for and they will say "no". Because that's a non-social situation.

Afraid to take your car to get an oil change alone? -no
Afraid to visit the Dr alone? - no
Afraid to go to the post office alone? -no

Want to go to a nightclub alone? - NO!! (fear inducing)
Want to go to a movie alone? - NO (fear inducing)
Want to go to a wedding alone? - NO! (fear inducing)

It's the pressure we feel to not be seen as a single person, which some people even perceive as a dangerous person, in a social situation that makes most NT's avoid getting into social events alone.

Excellent points!! Well said. I like how you split up the various scenerios.

Also a great point. It is a lot more effort to go to a party alone because you feel you have to do that whole social mingling thing which is really not that easy. It's extremely anxiety producing.

Now that I think about it, I probably wouldn't go to the movies by myself only because I wouldn't feel safe. I look like I am 17 years old (35 years old). I am small. I feel people look at you more which just makes me feel even more unsafe. So, it could very well be a protection thing for me. That fear was learned though through reading and watching the news - more fear the older I became and more I became of the world around me. If I go to a restaurant alone, I would need a book to read.

If it wasen't for the fact I always go with family, I would always go to movies alone (unless I have a girlfriend at the time).

Reason being, I prefer being alone and when watching something I also like to concentrate and get lost in the story, which I can't do if I'm with someone, because they might start talking or I'd just be continuously nervous.

NTs are the complete opposite to that, in general, though. They get nervous if they're not with someone.

I knew it! Gosh I'm good.

Well, here's the thing; it's not superiority per se, but at the same time, this scenario does in fact work to our advantage. As someone mentioned in a thread I began, for most NT folks, what's usually not important in their minds is what's going on; it's the socialization that's taking place while it's going on that's important.

Usually, when we socialize, it's to get some important information--we ask questions to get information we need.

They'll ask...then forget what was told to them three seconds later, cause it has nothing really to do with actually getting any information; it's about getting the vibes from other people in the process of being social.

The downside is that in many cases they just seem to wind up just "following the crowd", and heading into "mindless drone" territory, because in order to improve onself and become more knowledgeable and educated, information must be taken in.

If that information is of little concern to them--which they'll forget three seconds later--and are more concerned with discussing tons of "nothing" to each other, just for some "feel-good vibes", then basically they fall into the trap of becoming as deep and thorough as an issue of People magazine.

Now, again, we usually only ask questions when we want information, and are more interested in going into deep thought than just socializing "for sh*ts and giggles". Because of that, we're also more likely to figure things out that a lot of NTs wouldn't likely as much. That's assuming...we choose to use the abilities we have.

and I realize some people are saying that NTs see others as threating at night clubs and all that when they don't come with someone else. I fail to usually see a difference in most cases. If people seem threatening, they seem threatening, and nothing changes that. And if they fear they're at risk, well that just opens up other interesting questions in my mind...