Being beautiful and a scholar: double curse?

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Joined: 16 Jul 2006
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15 Jan 2010, 7:25 pm

Again... If you're seriously complaining... Make a serious complaint. If you cry about being misused, don't let yourself be taken that way. If you think power is being abused, there are ways of keeping it in check.

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Odin
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15 Jan 2010, 10:04 pm

Callista wrote:

you can't have any disability that causes visible awkwardness or asymmetry--wheelchairs are OK, but it's not OK to have atrophy, contractures, etc.

You obviously haven't met my lady friend with cerebral palsy, almost everyone thinks she's hot. :lol:

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LipstickKiller
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16 Jan 2010, 11:57 am

Odin: I dunno why, but your remark made me feel optimistic. Maybe because I often feel people in general are so narrow in their ideas about beauty.

I think there are problems being young and attractive in academia, but I think it's easier to be middle-aged and attractive. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm relatively attractive and I'm gunning for a doctoral post. Haven't noticed many problems, but I'm not good at noticing what people think and feel about me, and I'm too gullible to suspect foul play without proof right under my nose. I'm not terribly career-oriented though, I just want to do research on interesting stuff and make a decent living.

bhetti
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16 Jan 2010, 4:52 pm

Alla wrote:

While discussing the issue of lack of respect, I have been told on one occassion by a certain professor in another dept. who is about 60 "so, my dear, what type of man do you want? You'd do best with a sugar daddy!" This after I complained to him that some academics in my department were treating me like a child who was somehow not very intelligent. I felt so lost!

his comment was completely inappropriate and would probably be considered sexual harassment if you were lucky enough to have a recording of the conversation.

I'd feel discouraged, too.

just keep pushing on. you can't stop people from being stupid, but when they're overtly stupid it's easier to figure out who to avoid.

I never understood the obsession with beauty, but I've heard a lot of females say that if they had to choose between beauty and intelligence, they'd choose beauty. wtf? they probably aren't intelligent so they say that to make themselves feel better. pretty people are nice to look at, but what use are they if they're too stupid to talk to?

Magnus
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16 Jan 2010, 8:00 pm

Alla wrote:

Many of you know that I am doing my PhD dissertation in a major univeristy. By most accounts, I am also a very beautiful person.....or so I've been told.

My problem is this: I feel that because men see me as beautiful, they are threatened by my intelligence and will try to demean me in subtle ways. Somehow they are threatened by this combo and can't believe that a woman can possibly be both intelligent and beautiful. I can see it in my professors/advisors. They are usually uncomfortable in my presence because they find me very attractive and at the same time will try to subotage my progress or simply ignore my accomplishments. This is often done subconsciously as many of them will never admit to doing this, but it is clear they do it anyway. It seems to me that the only women who get respect in academia are the ones who are ugly, fat, or old. Beautiful women in academia are seen as sex objects and demeaned intellectualy. While discussing the issue of lack of respect, I have been told on one occassion by a certain professor in another dept. who is about 60 "so, my dear, what type of man do you want? You'd do best with a sugar daddy!" This after I complained to him that some academics in my department were treating me like a child who was somehow not very intelligent. I felt so lost!

Do I have to become fat and old to gain the respect of these men or will I pretty much always be seen as a sex object by them? I kind of envy women who can get the respect of their peers.

Any pictures?

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Celtic_Frost
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16 Jan 2010, 9:28 pm

I think being dumb and ugly is a double curse as well.

Callista
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17 Jan 2010, 10:13 am

Odin wrote:

Callista wrote:

you can't have any disability that causes visible awkwardness or asymmetry--wheelchairs are OK, but it's not OK to have atrophy, contractures, etc.

You obviously haven't met my lady friend with cerebral palsy, almost everyone thinks she's hot. :lol:

I've yet to meet a truly ugly person, CP or not. The popular standards of beauty, on the other hand... *sigh*

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