Do you find it hard sometimes to create smalltalk?

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I'm terrible at it! I struggle to think up a conversation, then I struggle to actually talk to the person without feeling nervous. Then if I'm lucky to start the conversation, I stutter and it usually doesn't very last long at all!

Small talk is for small minds.




~IslandAspie~

I don't enjoy it, and I'm not good at it. But I've kind of gotten a little of the trick of pulling it off. When I was younger, I'd just simply lecture the person with whom I was supposed to be having a conversation about whatever it was I found interesting. I wasn't asocial, because I had no fear - I'd talk to anyone about anything that interested me and expect them to be similarly interested. Some people were, and when I was really young, some adults thought I was cute (I hated that.) Then I got older, and the lecturing people thing totally backfired on me, so I became very withdrawn and shy.
These days, after much effort and practice, I've gotten to the point where I can carry on a (somewhat awkward) casual conversation with people I've previously met. I'm pretty inept when it comes to complete strangers and rely on the other person to keept the conversation moving.

not at much as before. An important thing to do when smalltalk is loosen up. If you arent loosened up and stress free when you wont even attempt to create smalltalk. You've got to get rid of the anxiety even if it's taking medications to do so.

all the time. I always make the mistake of wanting to talk about something real and then I get upset when I learn once again you aren't supposed to. Alot of times when I am talking to males I realize I am only supposed to mirror them and not actually contribute to any conversation and that sucks. Why talk at all if you can't discuss anything important.

I can't make small talk to save my life. I almost always end up lecturing the person about a certian topic which usualy is a special intrest of mine or just repeat phrases I have heard and hope I am using them in context. As a child I could NOT pay attention if a conversation did not pertain to my special intrests. My mind would just shut out the rest of the world until it heard something to do with a certian animal and then when I found out the lesson had nothing to do with said animal it would shut it's self off again. My parents and teachers assumed I was just being a lazy brat but in reality I had no control over it. My mind just shuts off when it can't engage in special intrests. I can't have a conversation without using formal words or even keep one about a simple subject. Small talk and conversation are alien consepts to me.

I couldn't pay attention in school if I wasn't interested in the subject too. We didn't learn about dogs, The Lion King, Tazos, or any of my other interests that much...or at all.

I can handle small talk in small doses , but I have to really know the person and be comfortable with them to "chat" for any length of time. Most of my small talk conversations involve maybe one or two sentences each between me and another person, after that, I'm pretty much done.

It got me into trouble at work, since people expected me to sit and talk with them about everything under the sun and branded me as unfriendly when I just wanted to get on with my job. I started having to keep a list of topics for each person in my head to ask about. Sometimes I wonder if I should be doing that here at the university as well, since the other students tend to congregate in the halls and talk, but I really prefer just doing my work in my office. I know I should be building networking connections for the future, but honestly, I just don't care that much (or at all) about what they did over the weekend.

I cannot initiate or maintain small talk, if the other person asks questions or continues to drive the conversation then fine with me, I'll always answer questions when asked. My biggest problem is that I simply don't care about getting more information out of the person. I'm a good listener tho so my friends are always big talkers. I will rarely start a conversation with someone but I always get random people talking to me when I'm standing in line somewhere.

I remember there was a time where I went to a local amusement park with my friend and her friends (she invited me along cuz she knows I luv rides) and afterwards we went out for a really late dinner. They were all talking and she kept saying to me "you should contribute to the conversation, don't be shy" and I just basically said "I'm fine with listening" which was true. I didn't really have anything to say anyway.

It's hard, but I try.
I do it because I want to know about the other person, to make my presence known, to poke their brain.
I only worry about how I come off with small talk. Sometimes I think I annoy some people with my efforts at small talk, other times I think I may come off as too awkward.

I don't care much for small talk. It really depends though. If I am on a mission to get something done and someone stops me to talk then I'll be really short and keep moving to keep up with my time limit. If I don't have a goal already in place then expect a lengthy response to "How's your day going?" If someone gets annoyed by it, then it proves that they don't really care about how someone's day is really going and perhaps they will think twice before asking such a question.