Proposed DSMV Changes May Negatively Affect Females

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I was wondering if what was given was a UK list rather than a US one. The APA is American, yet the list says, "carers." Carers is a UK expression. In the US, we say "caregivers." So, I wonder if that list is even attached to the US definition.

thanks.

It actually is a UK site. If you click "care homes" it has a map of Wales.

I fall squarely within that 'passive group' of lack of reciprocity. I'm very friendly when you get to know me- but I will never initiate anything, mostly due to anxiety.

I can definitely see how physicians could miss the more feminine expression of these traits. I think even if they are put into the new criteria, they are difficult to look for, and so the more extreme versions (possibly more likely to be seen in men, to generalize for a moment) are more likely to warrant a diagnosis.

I am definitely passive in a lot of social situations. My one friend of nearly 3 years still has to do most of the initiating, for just hanging out, or going for coffee. I am usually agreeable, but hardly ever call her to arrange social stuff. I always feel awkward, and feel even more awkward if she isn't in, or can't do whatever I suggest that same day.
I also realize that a lot of my responses to social cues, are imitation and mimicking as opposed to initiating. This is one of the reasons that friendships usually fail. All along, the other person has perceived me as being this wonderful person, only to find that I have been mirroring them. I can't blame them for thinking that it wasn't sincere.

I like the bit about ASDs maybe not becoming apparent until early teens. As far as I remember I was fairly normal socially as a child (went to a very small school where there was only one other girl in my year who became my best friend, and few in other years who also became friends). I think the patterns of social behaviour can change though. As a teen I was definitely aloof, to the point of muteness by the age of 17. In my 20s I was more passive, and now, as long as I am in a good mood, I seem to fit the active but odd state (in a less good mood I still appear aloof or passive). I have to say that active but odd is a lot more fun (although it does occur in a good mood anyway) - previously when I was aloof I really wanted to interact, and when I was passive I really wanted to be the charismatic leader of conversations not the follower. Might be a partly a confidence thing and partly a mood/energy thing - when I am a down or tired, social interaction becomes a lot more difficult. When I am in a good mood I think I can act pretty normal if necessary, but I find it a lot more interesting to say whatever comes into my head and see people's reactions - I'm finding that the people I find interesting seem to like me like that anyway, and the people that find me odd are the ones I find boring.

I don't see why mirroring people makes you not "wonderful" somehow. The intent is there--to spend time with them, to communicate, to understand what they are thinking and feeling. If you unintentionally copy their behavior while you're doing it, and it strengthens your relationship, isn't that like accidentally doing what you were meaning to do deliberately anyway? It's really the intention that matters--especially because, as human beings, we spend our lives learning; and when something doesn't match the intent, we learn better ways, and eventually get better and better at doing what we set out to do.