"Just be yourself"

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It depends in what context. If you liked someone and were nervous to talk to them and your friend said 'just be yourself' meant to just act like your normal self, not try to impress them by making up a bunch of stuff, that you will have to keep lying to them about. And lying is not a good way to start a friendship/relationship.

I'm always myself. When people ask what do I do, as in a job I don't say 'well I'm in between jobs' I say 'I'm unemployed.' I far too honest, and that's a trait I like about me. Why try to be someone to impress a group of people that won't like who you really are? It's better to avoid that group altogether. Guess I'm happy that I don't have to see a lot of people. Even where I may work. There's like two people there, and the employer knows I have Asperger's. And I'm not going to pretend to be someone else to make people happy, like my family. They can just deal with it.

That phrase has always left me kind of puzzled. It has never occurred to me to not be myself. I've never woken up one morning and thought "Hey, I think I'll be King Herod today" (to use an example).

Yes, people have said that to me over the years, and it left me puzzled.
What exactly did they mean?
Most of the things people told me were usually things I'd ponder and build personal theories upon their statements only to find out that they weren't being as serious about their own apparently idle statement as I was.

The idea of pretending to be someone else is rather fascinating. Life is a stage...

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Never assume you know what I'm thinking, just ask for clarification.
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal', must necessarily be 'inferior'. " -- Hans Asperger (1938)

"Just be yourself" means "We are not idiots, we can all tell you are trying to manipulate the way we see you". But everyone does it to some degree, for that is what makes us human, our ability to manipulate the world we live in.

I think that when NTz say 'just be yourself' they very often mean 'just fit in'.

Since NTz represent the vast majority of our species, they probably subconscioiusly mean fit in with NTz.

I can't recall meeting an Aspie in real life and I can't even remember hearing 'just be yourself' from anyone that I remotely suspected as being AS.

Since discovering my AS I certainly am 'just being myself' a lot more and recognising how I really DON'T fit in when I am 'being myself'.

It is far less tiring for me now that I realise that I am usually a fish out of water in social situations.

I don't 'try' quite so hard, which keeps my stress levels down 'at parties' and this allows me to focus more on what the situation does have to offer........like maybe the unusual pieces of art in the house/hotel, the beautiful garden, the color of the sky and just occassionally someone that I happen to be speaking with.

Here's what happened the other evening at one of the few parties that I have been to recently.

I noticed (yes, even me) that one of the men at my table wasn't making eye contact with me

I 'assumed' that he didn't like me but because I wasn't too stressed about being the center of attention, I also noticed that he wasn't making eye contact with ANYONE

During a discussion about movies (remarkably started by someone ELSE) I mentioned Paranoid schitzophrenia (Beautiful Mind I think) to which he retorted that 'there was nothing wrong with Paranoid Schizophrenia

He's an environmental engineer

I've been myself my entire life, with no problems.

Some of you guys sound like you're saying "be yourself" is insincere and it really means "be plastic." I'm not sure that it is for NTs, because they're lucky enough they can say and do what comes naturally and still have people like them. After all, everyone else is like them and says or does similar stuff. Whereas I think if a lot of us were actually ourselves--say, started talking about our special interests or stimming or getting excited about shiny things--most people would react unfavorably, including probably the people who give this advice. I hesitate to think NTs always are actually saying "be fake" because I've been told "be myself" by someone who I think really did have my best interests in mind, and really meant it. I think they just don't get that "be yourself" doesn't really mean "be like me, with maybe a slightly different set of interests."

I got told to 'be myself' and from what I could make of it, they were really telling me not to be weird.

This is how I feel about "Just be yourself."

In better curcumstances what they would mean is "just accept yourself and move on.", but I had it few times that seemed to indicate they had "better things" to pay attention to. Naturaly, I do the majority of my planning and thinking through to the walls and furniture.

"I'm nervous about tomarrow." I say this expecting a little encouragement, but instead get something else.
"Just be yourself, hun. You're fine." Subject continues their leasure, but sighs or shows subtle frustration if I talk about the matter further.

I've said it often and I meant it.

Be yourself... just make sure you are willing and able to defend yourself.

Long before I discovered I was an Aspie, I got utterly fed up with the arbitrary rules foisted upon me by society.

If I want to walk around in pink fuzzy slippers, comfortably worn in jeans (generally implies a few holes/tears, and not washed until they stink), a "wife beater" undershirt, and these:



I damn well shall.

It amuses me, the hell with anything else.

"Be yourself" is in direct opposition with "blend in, socialise, be like all the rest" which they are propagating all the while as well and that causes confusion.

This "self" is a consequence of years and years of conditioning and even if someone would want to be "himself" it would take at least as equal amount of time to de-condition, so that whole idea is a non sequitur.

"Be yourself" for me means limiting social contact to the bare minimum needed for survival, because I can't fake, and they wouldn't like my "self" (based on the experience so far) , no matter what they say.