Self Pity in the AS community

Post Reply New Topic

I have done the self pity thing and wallow in it too.

Some percieve A.S / A.S.D to be:

Really who and what someone is, not seperate.

Something that is part of someone, something that can be taken away in a way such as cured.

What do you folks think?

NeantHumain jokes nearly all the time, Nathan. I don't think he intends to make fun of other people however.

Asperger's effects one's behavior, in the same way one's personality does--how much depends on the individual case. It in itself is not the entirety of who someone is, but it isn't separate, either. I often feel as though my "aspie personality" conflicts with my "NT personality," when I'm arguing with myself about whether or not I should talk to someone, etc.

I've always thought that the N.T terminology was persons expressing aspects of themselves and others they disliked.

The whole duality of A.S / N.T never seemed logical.

Two different personalities, yet people are mysteries beyond universals and subjective and deductive reasonings.

All are essencially the same fundimentally.

Neat Human sounds alot like me folks. They arent the only one who is thinking like that.

I didn't read all the replies but I agree with moomin .

I have HFA ...and we all know that autism is not a psycological sickness but it s a mental disorder due to genetic and no-genetic factors.
(Experts believe that autism is the result of multiple genes -- anywhere from three to 20 -- interacting with each other. This may explain why the symptoms and severity of the disorder vary greatly. These genes may cause a baby's brain to develop abnormally in utero or make him more susceptible to unknown triggers.

source :[url]http://www.parents.com/parents/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/parents/story/data/5716.xml&catref=prt26)
) [/url]


But we have to admit too that autsim like any kind of disability can a have a negative impact on psychological status of the person .....like a man who loses a leg ....he might blame all his failures later because of this loss.

I was like this ..blaming my genes for every failure and rejection....and so I feel depressed.
Now your thread moomin make me realise that I was pitying myself , so thank you for this message I ll keep it in mind so I avoid pitying myself.
thanks again

It's an axiom that mathematicians have agreed on to avoid pointless arguing.


Where is this thread?

To my believe the selfpity is something that may come rather natural when someone recently got diagnosed, but passes as time goes by and you learn to accept the "new you". When you get a diagnosis you suddenly have to put your whole life in another perspective and it takes time for us to adapt to this new self-image we have. I think this is pretty natural and this may often result in selfpity at first.
But in time, you will learn that apart from aspie/autie you still are a person, indeed.

I find it odd when people with Asperger's/autism see no positives to it at all, but certainly many people see it as just a different way of being. It most certainly is a disability, however, for many people. I went undiagnosed until the age of 21 because my parents hated doctors and felt psychiatry was used as a crutch. However, I was also very suicidal from thinking all my difficulties were made up. When I did see doctors because I was extremely suicidal, they thought I was schizophrenic and had brain damage. In retrospect, the psychologist said very few people would have been able to force themselves out of bed in my position, but I had a 4.0 gpa in college and was doing work-study/volunteering. While I managed to do that for a short period of time, I lost a lot of communication skills and felt like my brain was destroying itself. I am unable to work and can't go to school at this point (all through school, undiagnosed, I did have major problems in school and needed to be homeschooled eventually). Being undiagnosed doesn't necessarily mean anything other than the person might become *more* self-loathing and *more* incapacitated. That was certainly what happened in my case. I have no self-pity, either. But I do need lots of daily assistance and can't take care of myself properly. This is simply a fact of my existence, and no amount of effort makes me magically have these abilities.

There are many things I can do, and that make me happy. I enjoy life very much. I'm not negative on autism, despite the fact that for me, there are a number of disabling effects. But autism/Asperger's is also a pervasive developmental disorder, which means it really *does* affect people in a great variety of areas. Not necessarily negatively, but I know for me, my thought processing and sensory awareness are very different from most people's, so autism does affect many, many aspects of my life. I don't think the us vs. them mentality is at all good, and there's a huge variety in what autistics and non-autistics are like. I can relate well to a number of non-autistics, though they do all have something a bit "odd" about them and often some autistic traits, if you will. And people do have to try and be considerate of others and figure out what they, as an individual, are capable of and comfortable with. That goes for anyone.

But as someone undiagnosed for a long time, I didn't fit in more or become more successful in self-care by going undiagnosed. I was only made extremely miserable and everyone around me just didn't know what was going on. Things simply felt hopeless and I felt very alone, as only one person I knew could relate at all to what I was experiencing (this girl is now also diagnosed with autism). And this isn't an exaggeration, given before AS, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia/schizo-affective 7 times between ages 16 and 21. And before then people were still every bit as confused and off-put by me. The social aspects of autism, for me, are actually one of the less debilitating areas, so I don't feel bad for myself due to a lack of friends or anything (though it was always difficult for me to have/make friends).

It isn't.

Hale, it's just another sarcastic comment. He's commenting on the common behavior of people to ascribe anything and everything to their Aspergers, when really it's just a normal inclination many people share, and have nothing to do with Aspergers.

That cat avatar is just weird!

I still find the post insulting, no matter the peer pressure me otherwise. I'll say anything I want, any way I want and I don't care.

IF I have to comply to it, then I always got to think, is someone going to think this or that, why would I comply, if persons don’t like my truth or anyone else’s it’s matter of not respecting someone for how it is they experience life.

I find it cruel to attempt this blatant social attack on a mentality.

Nah, that's not a cat. It's just a pic of danlo in the bath.

I don't think you understand the nature of this disorder. When you have lived with it for as long as I have, (just about 40 years now...before it was called Asperger's) and if you allow it to stand in your way, then maybe you can flog yourself. But the disability does tend to define who you are, like it or not, and the way other people treat you (as a matter of course) is usually cruel and unusual punishment. We had someone on here (before my time) named Will Freund. Now, he (according to everything I've read) took the abuse from the rest of the world, for years, and it was real cruelty. He sat there quietly and took it. And he did not feel sorry for himself. Until one day, he did something that is not at all typical of AS or Autism in general, but very typical of someone who has been persecuted for being different all of his life. He killed two neighbors and himself.

Edward Arlington Robinson's poem ends.....

"So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread,
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head"

It is not self-pity, nothing close to it.

Beentheredonethat

Self-pity is feeling sorry for yourself, feeling bad about feeling bad, very recursive and ends up backing you into a mental corner where there's an illusion of no escape, sucks up a lot of your energy, etc.

Honestly understanding and talking about weak areas is not always a result of self-pity, although it can be.

I can say, I can flap my arms all I want but it won't make me fly. That's a fact. I don't feel sorry for myself about it.

If I said, I can flap my arms all I want but it won't make me fly, and flying is what it takes to be a real person, and I'll never be a real person, oh how I wish I could be a real person, a real valuable person, but I'm not, and never will be, because I can't flap my arms and fly... that'd be getting into self-pity.

I can say, I can flap my arms all I want but it won't make me fly, and some people treat me like I'm not a real person, but I wish they would, that's acknowledging prejudice, but not self-pity (unless it becomes that weird kind of recursive instead of doing anything about it).

And so forth.