Are aspies often unable to say NO to people?

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anneurysm
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26 Apr 2010, 12:22 pm

I tend to struggle very much with this. I am a a person who is very eager to please and often don't have the courage to stand up for myself and my own opinions. However, I'm better at this than when I was a teenager...and this has led to situations where I've been hurt or taken advantage of.


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pineapple
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26 Apr 2010, 1:05 pm

I have a hard time saying "no". Part of it might be because it sometimes takes me awhile to process what people are saying. But if they want a quick answer, I'll just say "yes". I know that's not good, but I'm working on it. However, I know a lot of NT people who have similar issues with saying "no". I think women especially are trained to be all things, to all people which can make it hard for us to consider our own needs at times.



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26 Apr 2010, 1:26 pm

WeatherFreak wrote:
SpongeBobRocksMao wrote:
I struggle to say no. It makes me a bit uncomfortable and worried about how the person will react.


Same , it's got me in some VERY fustrating situations sometimes. I think it depends on who i'm talking to


Yeah, I can empathise with this.



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28 Apr 2010, 8:52 pm

no


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JCpatriots
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28 Apr 2010, 11:05 pm

I've gotten better at it over the last couple years overall. However, it's still pretty hard for me to say no to things, even when I know I should be saying no instead of yes. Example: when I worked at my summer job last year, I was asked a few times if I could stay later. I didn't really want to, but I couldn't say "no", so just ended up saying yes.



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29 Apr 2010, 12:26 pm

I ca never say 'no' to my coworkers or by boss. Even when I want to.


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CockneyRebel
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29 Apr 2010, 12:42 pm

Because I'm a big Kinder Softy, and I don't want to hurt anybody. :heart:


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ayra
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29 Apr 2010, 1:16 pm

I have a hard time saying no to people, I just don't want to hurt their feelings. Most of the time I will just be like erm, maybe... Usually that means no. It just depends on how I feel and how the day has gone.


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flyingkittycat
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29 Apr 2010, 3:36 pm

b9 wrote:
i only have trouble saying "no" when i have a blocked nose.


(giggles) I just tried that and had difficulty saying no too.

I can't stand people who try to take advantage so saying no became easy to do. In the past however, I didn't say no but that taught me a valuable lesson that if you don't say no, people will treat you like a doormat and have no shame doing so. So it's gone from no to HELL NO GET THE F*** OUT OF MY FACE or I just don't talk to the person at all when they try to pretend as though they are just so caring of how your day is going or how you feel in order to attempt to ask for more favors and sometimes I just say nothing and walk away. I don't care if they have negative opinions on the matter for they aren't half as decent as the mask they wear portrays.



eb31
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29 Apr 2010, 3:44 pm

I have a history of this. I recently took a series of assertiveness classes and am doing lots better!

The instructor said a good delay is: Let me get back to you on that.



silentbob15
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12 May 2010, 12:13 pm

nu



catherineconns
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12 May 2010, 12:51 pm

I don't like disagreeing, saying no, or disrupting the flow if it gets the spotlight put on me. Saying "no" as much as I'd like to would draw more attention to me than I'm comfortable with.

And when it comes to doing favors, I find it very difficult to say no because I feel like doing nice things for people is one of the only ways I can indicate that I really do want to be friends with them (because my lack of social skills and reluctance to actually go hang out with them seems to give them the opposite idea).



carltcwc
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12 May 2010, 6:40 pm

no



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12 May 2010, 6:52 pm

I do. I can't tell what's acceptable to say to people, so I tend to get embroiled in things that aren't to mine or anyones benefit.


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clumsybee
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20 Aug 2010, 6:51 pm

I can very easily say no to somebody if I need to. It's the way I've always been. 8)



Homer_Bob
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20 Aug 2010, 7:17 pm

It's the opposite for me, I tend to say no to everything. If it's anything that involves uncomfortable social interaction, I will refuse.


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