I hate it when NTs tell me "just get over it"

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Absolutely. But if those NTs became an Aspie for a day, then they would be left traumatised at the difference of being. They couldn't handle it. In the end, its the NTs that are the weak ones, not us Aspies. We see reality for what it really is and thats why most of us, including me, want no part of it.

I hate it when they tell me to just get over it. I was told that very thing by two people, today about the series of events that I've been through this year.

People who tell you to "get over something" are just trying to invalidate you, to make your problems small and theirs bigger, more important.

Here's an important bit of advice to everyone: only tell people things if you trust them completely or confide in them. I have 2 people I confide in, and they don't give me any stick. I do know another person that I have been seeing for years and he certainly isn't the one to talk to if I need any help. And I don't talk to him about personal matters.

People can be so unthinkingly cruel. I was told to "get over it" a month after my daughter died. "Why do you keep talking about this? Just get over it." I think people tell you to get over it . .. not because they really think you can or should get over it but rather because they don't want to deal with it.

And that's usually when I say "Well tough s**t, I'm not everybody. Going to help me or not?"

I wonder if the light will ever dawn on them that it's not, me, us where trying to get over, it's them!

Often they deal with their s**t, by sh*****g on others. until they climb to the top of the pile, but are still full of it. like defenders of a castle poring boiling oil on those below.

personally I'd rather not have the crap than join in.

I love the word 'excuse' it's a word used by people who can't reason.

From speaking to the more 'NT' types they feel their emotions but not others. So other people make them angry. Where as I see other people being whatever 'say angry', but that's them being angry not me. I don't attach myself to that anger.

I've got to say that NTs with any sense would consider that horribly inappropriate. I mean, there's a point where the insensitivity of other becomes something that isolates them because others around them, Aspie and NT alike, consider their words to be cruel and callous. Telling someone to get over the death of a close family member, especially their own son or daughter, would not be considered good form no matter how many years had passed. Suggesting they move on with their life might be needed if the person was really doing nothing else, but even so it would be a risk. The phrase "get over it" is pretty much regarded as rude and abrupt any way you say it. As much as it can anger in these individual situations, we should remember that it really reflects badly on that person, rather than representing the views of all people like them. That's a dangerous direction to go anyway... the sweeping generalization.

That said, I am almost constantly ticked at my fellow humans for their many acts of bone-crushing stupidity, so what do I know?

The best way to get over things is to get them out of your system.

When people tell me to get over it, I usually say. Well if you'd let me finish talking about it then I would be over it.

I have certain male staff workers telling me not to dwell on the series of bad things that have happened to me, this year. It really drives me bleeping crazy. The thing is that if he had a bad year, he would be dwelling on it as well. It's almost like a double standard.

I was born under a bad sign
I've been down since I've started to crawl
If it wasn't for bad luck
I wouldn't have no luck at all

I keep a positive attitude the best that I can, and I live my life.

Their position was that since my daughter was stillborn, she wasn't "real" and I never got to know her so I should just stop talking about it because no one wanted to hear it anymore. People don't think about what it would be like if it happened to them and even though there are 26,000 stillbirths in the U.S. every year, most people have no experience with it so they are uncomfortable hearing about it.

I think it was inappropriate to tell me to get over it and shut up, but I don't think the person who said it intended to be cruel or even rude. I think they just didn't understand that a stillbirth is still a child that was eaited for, expected, and loved for months before they were ever met face-to-face.

But I think my point still stands -- when someone says to "get over it" whether it is a hangnail or a death in the family or anything in between, it's not because they really think you shouldn't be upset so much as that they are uncomfortable being in the presence of someone who is openly in pain -- physical, mental, emotional, whatever -- and are desperately trying to shut the other person up from being real about their pain because it's hard for the person who said "get over it" to deal with.

In other words, when someone says "get over it" it's not really about you or your suffering; it's about them and their emotional stuntedness and/or discomfort.

LOL

It after you hit them and they give you a blank look that you realise that they have AS and and a muted pain response so didn't feel a thing.
(I've won many a fight that way!)

Really they where just telling you what they wished they could do when they said 'get over it'

An old best friend who has probably heard through the grapevine of my AS, has just sent an email saying "so whats new and exciting?" he used to always say 'just snap out of it'. Funnily there is AS on his mums side, his uncle killed himself, but he just aint going there.....

I can forget about him for support, along with about half or more of my friends/acquaintances

a**holes

I had a miscarriage last summer and I got told to get over it by my mother. Ironically she had one too in 1989 and she was sad it happened but she got over it. She got pregnant too soon she said after having my brother so her uterus couldn't hold the pregnancy. The doctor did tell her it be six months before her uterus heals because my brother was so big, it was stretched out and it be that long before it gets small again. But I got over mine too a month later after finding out about it. I had a missed one.

I think people just forget how they felt when they suffered a miscarriage so they act all insensitive about it. My aunt who had one also told me she was fine with it when it happened but my mom told me she was actually crying when she lost her baby and I thought she lied to me about her experience but no mom told me people sometimes forget how they felt because they move on. My aunt was also telling me it happens and I just have to move on. Even my other aunt said the same thing and she suffered miscarriages after having her first child and she says god only wanted her to have one kid so she kept getting miscarriages and said having one means the time wasn't right. She is religious because she had to bring in god. So if he is real, why would he get me pregnant and then take that baby away? That is very mean isn't it? I remember I felt gypped by mother nature then.

But I would never tell someone to get over it after losing a baby, they will move on eventually.

Yeah even none autistic people lack emotional and social reciprocity and unfortunately miscarriages, family losses, and stillborns is one of the tough topics for anyone to deal with. People don't know how to give support or what to say so they all tend to say the wrong things in it or not understand how the person is really feeling because they never experienced it. Plus they might get uncomfortable because they don't know how to handle the topic. Sometimes they even get logical than giving emotional support like they might say to someone who has had a miscarriage "At least you weren't that far along, imagine having a stillborn?" or "you can try again" "lot of women miscarry in the first trimester and they end up having a successful pregnancy after that" "at least you can get pregnant" or "there was probably something wrong with the egg."

One guy told me, "I know exactly how you feel. Lucas was a difficult birth." And I just looked over at where Lucas was playing with his brother and wondered how anyone could be so crazy/thoughtless/blind as to tell me they knew exactly how I felt because something totally different happened to them.

But at least it was better than the guy who started telling dead baby jokes to me a week after the stillbirth. At someone else's baby shower, no less. Not funny.

I agree. I wish the NTs who have made my life difficult could live a day in my shoes: rejected, a lack of really close friends, consistently under-or-unemployed, no girlfriend ever; and see how they like it.