I will not pretend, to fit in.

Post Reply New Topic

When I was younger I tried to fit in just because I thouhgt that was how I was supposed to be. I was miserable and angry with myself when it didn't work. I even forced myself to ignore my desire to pursue my dream job after getting out of high school. Instead I got into a field that is typically successful and I'm miserable everyday.

Only within the past year or so I decided to say screw you to the idea of fitting in and decided to just be myself and i've been much happier. I've also enrolled in a school that has a program catered to my special interest so I'll be finally pursuing that dream job I've always wanted....sure I have to wait a year to save up for tuition but it'll be worth it!

Because, not everyone can choose what job to get or get benefits from society. At the end of the day, there is a bill to pay.
_

Myself, i tried the whole fitting in when i was younger, i wore leather belts, had long hair, played in a metal band (Well, i tried to..i sold my guitarr + drums and bought a C64 instead). When i got older, i dropped the whole "you have to look like this to like a certain type of music" charade and i stopped placing myself in a slot that said "I like this/that sort of music".

I've been militantly individualistic my whole life. But then, a couple of years ago I realized I was going to have to suck it up and toe the line for a brief stretch of time in order to finally get a job... I studied up on evolutionary psychology and Myers-Briggs personality types. I read Emily Post's Etiquette and How to Win Friends and Influence People. I did some serious studying on how to pass myself off as a quasi-normal human being. Hours and hours and hours.

Eh, it didn't really help so much. And the more I see what "normal" is, the more I realize what a miserable lot they are. I wish I played the part better, but I'd rather fake it than live it.

I've always professed my preference for showtunes over what a lot of people listen to... I was lucky enough to go to school for it so I wasn't the only oddball who could sing the entirety of Sondheim's Into The Woods. Well, maybe I was the only one who could do that... but I wasn't the only one who listened to showtunes.

When I was in high school I tried listening to the popular radio stations in an effort to mainstream my music tastes, but it never stuck. I remember insisting to my mother that she only buy me clothes with no logos on them at all because I was afraid of wearing the wrong thing. That was when I was 13, I'm not so scared any more.