Can you manipuate people?

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Yes, I can manipulate (most) people in the real world to bend the rules and make them work better for me. Any defined system always has loopholes.

I don't think I'd be good at manipulating people in the way you might hear about concerning "office politics" or the kind you see on tv.

It doesn't even occur to me to think like that or care to.

When I do something wrong or damaged something at work I've learned to just tell on myself because the anxiety and paranoia is too much for me to handle. (a counselor taught me this)

When I think of manipulative type things happening, I don't understand how people can plan it out, and know how people will react, and somehow maunevure it all like a game of chess. For whatever reason I think that might be hard for me to understand that sort of thinking process.

I think my definition of manipulation is a lot less charged with negativity than the standard understanding of the word.

Yes, and that is where I see "manipulation" as simple navigation.

Alternatively, you can put down the victim card and live and let live. If you want to be bitter about whatever has happened to you in the past it's your choice, but just because you had a bad experience doesn't mean the rest of us are unhappy about living by a moral code and not do unto others what we wouldn't want be done to us.

May I know what is funny in that ?

Uh yeah I can. I can do guilt trips and hope it works.

There are different levels of manipulation. If you are trying to get your way by doing things, that is manipulation. Anyone can do that. Even two year olds but their way is throwing a tantrum to get it but they learn that technique when the parent gives in on them every time.

Anyone is capable of manipulating. Those who say they are unable to are bullshitting. You don't need to be crafty to manipulate. You can attempt to do it and fail. Like kids can try and manipulate their parents and it doesn't work because they don't give in.

I think giving guilt trips is manipulation, trying to talk someone into doing something and giving them reasons why they should do it, trying to control people, telling someone you are going to give them something if they do it and then you don't after they do it, see anyone can do these things. I call it simple manipulation. Even lying to someone can be manipulation but it depends on the situation and what it was about. Police officers for example. They may say something like "Look, if you just tell us you did it, we can all go home" manipulation there because they are trying to trick the person to say they did it. That is why people with mental retardation and juveniles are more likely to confess to crimes they didn't commit. Officers lie, I call them manipulators because they try and trick you by lying so you have to be smart by not giving in and telling them what they want to hear and stick with the truth.

Am I good at manipulating? Sometimes but not much. I don't even try and do it anyway because I don't like to deceive people. Only time I can remember I did manipulation was to my husband and I didn't even know it was manipulation until he told me. Now those kind of techniques wouldn't work with him anymore because he knows better now. Let's just say I kept crying wolf because I wanted to get it over with.

I would say it depends on the person. Like if someone gives in too easily because they feel guilty easily, guilt trips can easily work on them. That's where my manipulation would succeed. All I have to do is give a guilt trip to make the person feel bad so I hope I get what I want like if I were to be evicted and I had a child and the landlord felt guilty easily and couldn't be firm and tough, it be easy for me to not be evicted because all I would have to say is I have no where else to go and I need the money to pay for food to feed my child and I need money for other bills like electric so I am unable to pay the rent (even though I can but I just choose not to because I would rather spend it on other stuff, things I want).

And sometimes I wonder if I am manipulating even if I am not bullshitting. What I am doing can be seen as a guilt trip. Sure if the state were to say my husband and I make too much for food stamps and we had a kid, I would be saying how are we supposed to afford food for our child because we have other bills we pay and money gets taken out in taxes. That be the truth there, not me saying it to make them feel guilty. But I would still feel like I am manipulating and trying to get my way. It's just me being concerned about our bills and budget and worried I am going to struggle.

I am interested in the mechanics of life. Even nearly mindless lifeforms like plants compete for survival without knowing why.
Human morality is if anything honor among thieves.
You assume I reached my conclusions from bitterness, but if anything that is your own mind filling in blanks by projecting itself, or filling in the blanks by stereotyping.
A fact of nature is if you fight dirty you have the advantage. Morals and their blind adherents create a smoke screen, those who fight dirty but cunningly appear to conform to the moral code are those who get the money and the power.
Sure most people aren't paragons of virtue, but most people still do fit into that smoke screen.
So ultimately it depends on what you want and how far you're willing to go to obtain it.

Life is ultimately a competition and it doesn't end when you die, you live on through your offspring.
Why do you think people want to "keep the business in the family" after they die?
Why do woman's biological clocks start ticking at a certain age?
Why is sex so profound?

Absolutely! They are trained professionals in manipulation.
You have the right to remain silent. So remain silent. It's the best thing you can do. Lots of people assume that if you are cooperative and tell the truth it will be better, not necessarily. They could have mistaken witnesses or they could put words in your mouth.
Alot of the times they don't even have enough to arrest you with, once I was walking around at night and I got stopped and put in a cop car. They thought I was breaking windows, they tried everything on me but I said I want a lawyer. They let me go.

IMO everyone should see this video;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

Yes even twisting your words around is manipulation. My first ex did that to me.

I hope I never encounter any cops. I would hate to deal with that crap and having to wait to be let go and waiting to see a lawyer.

Actually, Subotai is very right. It is eat or be eaten. Survival of the fittest. Morals are BS, most successful people don't care about them, the only people who do are those who need something to hide behind. Do what you need to do to ensure your own success, that's the rule I live by. Morals don't make you rich.

I'm of the opinion that any action trying to influence another's opinion, decisions, or actions is manipulation, whether done with ill intent or not.

I'm a very good manipulator: I won't deny it. I have spent most of my life studying sociology, psychology, anthropology, neurology, hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Facial Action Decoding, and various other related topics to figure out how people work and how to read them. In doing so, it also taught me a number quite simple cognitive loopholes that allow people to be influenced and manipulated.

It is my passion to figure out how people work, and I have worked many different positions that require manipulation to help people. I have worked as a rape crisis counselor, a minister, a priestess, a supervisor, and of course, a mother. All of these positions require the ability to influence others in some way to help them. If I need to talk a suicidal person down, I don't have to be suicidal myself, but I can use a certain number of verbal, postural and behavioral cues to make myself mirror the person I am working with to develop a rapport. They see me as someone they can relate to and confide in and I can help them.

I used to lie horribly when I was younger, but have actually studied enough to know how it "works" now. I fake normal quite well for an Aspie, which in and of itself is a lie for me. I don't care about the stuff they do, I don't care about the small talk or enjoy it, but it benefits me to lead them to think so in order to make my life easier. Thats a manipulation in and of itself without ever getting to actual persuasive manipulation.

You sound very American Asp-z

Personally I'll keep my morals. I'd rather die dead in a ditch with a clean heart than die in a palace with no soul

I have no idea whether or not I should be offended by that

It wasn't meant to be an insult but a direct observation. I've noticed in America it's a pretty normal mind set to live the way you are expressing.

Now I am hooked on police videos after being shown that one video in this thread.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tdrm_v8HhRI


This is about how to get your way out of getting a speeding ticket, manipulation I call it.