Do Aspies attract other aspies?

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I forgot to mention, I brought this up to my psychologist who specialises in ASD and she agreed. She has several patients on the spectrum who also have best friends on the spectrum.

i only recently got to meet some lovely aspies who were actually nice to me and welcomed me into their world, at least for the aspie meetups. prior to this, the only aspies i've ever encountered were not nice at all to me, especially the closeted ones in the military who were so far into NT emulation mode that they lost their humanity along the way.

Depends on what you're looking for in a person...

I am very open and outgoing (depends on my mood) so I connect with most people in general

but my close friends are generally on the spectrum or just people who were not looking for personal benefits in trying to befriend me.

As for my ex-bfs two were on the spectrum and well it did not last coz the communication was bad bad aweful!! !! one was an NT and that was something more than just mechanical! I always thought that there had to be strong connections but no there has just to be an understanding and affection and it just grows (too bad he moved away and found long distance painful )

I am attracted to Aspies. Maybe it's because of the fact that I understand Aspies. I am not attracted to NTs. But bullies find me to be very attractive as much as I despise them.

We probably attract people of a similar mind to ourselves, if that's what you mean?

I really cannot stress this enough but people with Asperger's aren't the same as one another. We're not clones.



It's probably a mixture of that and wanting a quick shag. If you're looking for a shag, it's easier to pick on the aloof, socially-isolated girl, right?

Bullies get their jollies tormenting me. I am in a committed relationship, not interested in sex aside of marriage. But I do believe they get some kind of arousal out of causing me discomfort. Not sure if it's sexual or if it just tweaks a part of their brain that responds to abusing me. Sick sick sick! NTs are far more likely to bully me than someone with AS. NTs usually want nothing to do with me as far as friendships go. I am not their type, nor am I attracted to them either.

I'm well aware that Aspies are not clones. Jeeze, my adopted dad probably has it too. His interests & my interests are very different. He forced his interests on to me as a child. He's finally got it that my interest is photography just a few years ago. It's only taken him decades to figure that out. I am attracted to those whose interests are similar to mine. But Aspies do have some similar characteristics, & I believe that's what attracts me to them & vice versa.

Tomboy

Must confess it can be a real problem for me if my partner isn't a musician. I love doing vocal harmonies with others when I get the chance, and it would feel practically adulterous to have that intimate experience with another woman.......plus if we regularly go running around town to perform together, there's likely going to be lots of opportunity for mischief. If a partner of mine wanted such an emotionally significant slice of another guy's life, I'd have an extremely hard time coping with the feelings of anxiety and betrayal, and I'd probably never quite believe that it was entirely sexually innocent. I've seen it done with no apparent objections, but then people don't usually advertise their matrimonial problems.

So I agree about matching up the special interests. Sharing those passions is as emotionally charged as having sex, and has the same potential for hurtful "adultery," so if you have a special interest that has a strong element of sharing in it, you'd best make sure your girl digs it too. Of course people can stick to same-sex sharing, but good opportunities are rare, and it's kind of hard to turn one down on the ground of gender, if she's really good. Sharing a passion is pretty much the best experience a person can have.

I see a lot of of OCD & things like that subtly in other people in my family. I don't think any of my friends (when I was living somewhere else & had some) were but they were mostly outsider types. I was once having a convo w a friend & (I was super trashed, I never would tell people this outside of my family usually) but I told him that I had social anxiety & he said so did he but he was extremely extroverted most of the time. I suspect that he actually had some kind of PTSD because he was in the military & had mentioned that he had night terrors & stuff.

I have to agree, It seems that way to me too.
Although I'm not officially diagnosed, so not really qualified to know.
I do feel almost magnetically drawn to some other people who seem to have similar differences to me, like no eye contact, obsessive traits, socially awkward, get stressed in 'busy' situations etc.

I'm certainally drawn to other people who are as misfit as I am.

I see my friends around me very much alike. I have a friend whom I allow to nag me if it seems appropriate for him, though.


My only relationship so far (apart from a forming one) had been a very similar experience to me. The change I expect from this new relationship is that she really seems to like me and my personality as it is and at the same time she seems to be much more a giving type of person, altruistic to some extent. The two major characteristics I've been searching for (or rather, longing for). Having common interests are only on the third place of my wish-list, I see there are signs of it, but honestly, I don't believe in relationships formed purely on the basis of common special interests. Similarities in the way we think and having some common interests and themes we can talk about is good enough. Having common aims in life is another thing, very important indeed, especially for a person being well in the 30's.

As for the original question, I see eccentric individualist NTs and people with some of the ASD traits around me, including friends and relatives. I'm not diagnosed, but I think I'm the only one who is likely worthy of having an instance of ASD diagnosis. The only exception would be a friend whom I suspect to be HFA, not AS. I don't recall ever meeting a person with AS in my life. Sometimes I think of what would be like to meet somebody very similar to me. Hard to imagine. I guess I could simply turn away and run...

Not for me. Eccentric people, and all other kinds of 'messed up' (Not saying aspie = messed up!) people, yes, but never met another aspie. :/

I can usually tell if an Aspie is in the vicinity. As for attracting each other, I may or may not feel drawn to another spectrum person, but hardly ever feel attraction. My fiance is mildly Aspergian, whereas I am a little lower on the spectrum than he. For us, attraction was instant and mutual.

Until I knew what AS was, and myself too, I was attracted to friendly open types and many were on the spectrum but I didnt even know what the spectrum was

Now I know what to look for in another, I'm even more attracted to HFA types because I now know that these people have been my most successful friendships

In short if I see NT traits in a possible new friend or girlfriend I avoid them, as it often ends badly for both of us.

I guess I have learned by my mistakes. I guess I'm now avoident of NT's

I like aspies alot better than NT people, so yeah =)

I believe so. It seems to just be a general rule that people that are somehow "not normal" end up with each other. One of my close friends has been diagnosed as an aspie, and several of my friends exhibit aspie characteristics. Similarly, all of the people I grew up being close friends with ended up being bisexual or lesbians, as I am. I've always found this interesting, for we knew each other well before we knew we had homosexual inclinations.

So I guess it is safe to assume that due to our obsessive nature in specific topics, we are best matched with someone of our similar interests. Successfully finding the proper mate to share our lives with is that exactly-- and considering our "lives" revolve our few select passions, it wouldn't really be sharing a life together if it did not include the activities/ passions that consume so much of our day to day lives. That being said, a proper match could very well be Aspie/N.T.. but the chances of an N.T. being as dedicated to a specific passion are fairly slim. frankly, I'm tired of bending over backwards to make myself compatible with a "normal" woman. If I am considered too immature and childish to be able to acclimate, then so be it. I might have different behavior than what is socially acceptable by most, if I can't be accepted for that then in all honesty, it's their own loss. I actually LIKE who I am, regardless of others opinions. I'm sure that there's SOMEONE out there who is as "thrown off" as I am and won't consider me a lesser person due to my eccentric personality.