So basically

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Firstly, I don't know if anyone (apart from menintights) saw my second reply. If you haven't, please go back to page 1 and read it.

pensieve, if you think that you're not human, then that's on you and it's up to you to consider yourself part of the human race or not. I certainly did not say it and nobody here has said it either.

Do you not think that by saying that I think the aspies who have posted on this thread are overreacting and that I will never seem to get it, that you are being judgmental yourself? Do you not think that by coming here and saying those things about your mom and how she has many ADHD symptoms, that you're talking about her behind her back?

The above is my point exactly. Whatever we do and no matter how much we try to control it, we will complain or judge somehow or other.

And katzefrau, "hate" is a pretty strong word. I don't think what is being described here has anything to do with hate. Having said that, I find it hard to hate anything. For example, I strongly dislike and oppose homophobia, but do I hate it? I don't know. And yes, I know that this is a support forum. I am here because I very much care about someone with AS and I'm trying to learn as much as I can so I can connect with him better and understand where he is (and by extension, all of you) are coming from. So I find it insulting (such as when angryboy2k10 made the generalization that
when some posters here have made sweeping judgments about me for expressing only my honest opinion.

One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. For anyone who has seen it, the scene where the therapist is talking to Will at the park and he says, "Do you think because I've read Oliver Twist, that I know what it's like to be an orphan?"

I feel a little bit like that. Do you think that because I am aware of AS and autism, that I know what it's like to be in all of your shoes? No! I don't profess to be an expert at it. But I do want to learn more and understand better and offer my empathy.

Humans are diverse. Some are social. Some are not. Furthermore, there's nothing abnormal about not being social. The biggest problem is psychologists, psychiatrists and the media. Because a few loners here and there do something it means it's abnormal to crave solitude and it indicates severe psychological problems since humans are hardwired to be social. Never mentioned are the hordes of social people who go over the edge.
Sociability is not much of an indicator of what people will do.

I don't make fun of her symptoms.

Will it help if these two ladies are churchgoers and constantly gossip like this?

They were making fun of a man with milder symptoms than me and knowingly being cruel. I went into the kitchen and starting hitting things with a spoon, but no, they didn't stop.

Next time it happens I'll tell them just how I feel about it, and I tell you what, I will probably get yelled at for overreacting and not tolerating. But is she tolerating?

No, she talks sh** all the time and thinks people like me aren't normal. She calls me weird all the time. Even when I'm having a goddamn seizure she doesn't care. I'm not exactly communicative at those times. By the way I did have a seizure right there in front of them. But they couldn't give a sh***. Gossiping hens...Yes, I'm being judgmental but I'm not making fun of them. They make me angry.

I even once overheard a woman calling her son with downs syndrome weird. I wanted to hit her. Just because you take care of someone with a disorder gives you no right to call them weird and make fun of them.

I think you need to tell her exactly how you feel. but without hitting things.

It's hard to put feelings into words. Emotional paralysis. Whenever I try to she doesn't listen.

It's not the same as socializing in person. It's much easier and to many people, it doesn't count as being social.

I find it more rewarding and compelling most of the time. I realize a lot of people don't value it, but I think a lot of people tend to be a bit full of themselves.

I enjoy the internet, too, though people disagree and say it isn't as rewarding as going out and being with people. This is as social as I feel like being so it's good enough for me

Most of my friends whom I've met in real life I met first on the internet and got to know them that way without having the pressure to be actually really social. It eases a lot of stress.

Plus yes, most of the time this is as social as I feel like being as well.

You can't believe that some people don't engage in mean and hurtful gossip just because so many of them do?

Just as Pensive noticed, it has also been my experience that people who talk that way about their friends in front of me will say nasty stuff about me in front of others, but not to my face of course, that would be rude, right?

It's convenient to use human nature as an excuse for our ugly impulses or acts and do nothing about them, but a lot harder to try to correct such behaviours, especially if they make you feel better about yourself.

At times I have talked behind the back of people who have talked about me, rationalizing it by saying they do the same to me so why I can't I talk about them? I wouldn't call this human nature, but it's one way I feel justified resorting to the same tactics...for better or worse.

I prefer to avoid them - I have no interest in catty gossip or returning such "favours" - but yes, the rule of thumb seems to be that if you do it, you expect others to do it too. I think that's what Esther was saying - that as long as you do it you shouldn't complain about others.

I wouldn't call what I do gossip, just complaining on the internet from time to time and I don't use their names so no one knows who it is I am refering to. Then I rationalize that by thinking look at what they have said about me to others...it's been far worse so it's not like I am complaining about everyone, just certain ones and it's only because they have complained about me or else I wouldn't be doing it.

I think there's a difference between venting because someone did something that upset or angered you, and engaging in gossip. Pensieve's post isn't gossip.

@Pensive - Something that worked for me in the past was to confront people when they do this in a calm and sometimes ironic manner. Something like "did you notice that weird thing X does? What a loser!" - "yes and I like to do that too, so what? Do you think I'm a loser?" or maybe point out some "weird" habit they have themselves to put things in perspective. They often stop doing it if you don't participate or reward the behaviour.

@Ana - if you're talking about venting anonymously over the net about something that bothers you and involves you directly, I'd say it's different than mocking someone's quirks or lack of success in life.

I didn't think her post was gossip. It's more like the kind of complaining I do over the internet.