Are you too smart?

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The same token we could also have a thread "Why do some Aspies get so defensive and jerky about other Aspies who want to talk about this?" Because it sure seems to me that whenever there's is such a thread, someone else has to crash it with "IQ test don't mean anything and I'm sure this is just people who need to make themselves feel better by talking about how they're smarter than me, I mean, other people! So there!! !"

Maybe low self-esteem and overcompensating is part of this, but I think you need to look at yourself regarding those ego defenses before throwing stones at other Aspies. I am much more sympathetic and less offended by these types of discussions perhaps because I know it feels to be set apart from other people by intelligence and I see this as other Aspie like me trying to find ways to connect, And being Aspies, perhaps they aren't doing it in the most appropriate way. Wow. There's a shocker. But at least they're trying.

Have you considered that being gifted intellectually can be a very socially isolating thing for some people, and doubly so if they are on the spectrum? I spent the first 28 years of my life thinking I wasn't fully human, but just a "brain in box"--all I thought I was was my intelligence. It was the only thing that people noticed me for--otherwise I was invisible to most other people. I mean, I had the personality of a computer back then, seriously. I could only engage you if you input data. I couldn't relate to other people except on an intellectual level. And it is still a big part of how I relate to others. So I am not surprised to see these threads here. Likewise, I am not bothered by them, and I don't think anyone else should be either. Deal with your issues and let others work out their own issues their way.

There could be people who scored astronomically high on their IQ tests who negate the relevance of them. It doesn't really matter what you score on them. You can still question it and murmur to yourself what is their point?

With much generosity, this passage can vaguely be interpreted in this way:



However, I think that makes more sense by the opposite way: if you don't finish high school (wanting to) this could be considered "clinically significant impairments"; but finishing the high school does not mean that you don't have "clinically significant impairments".

Like - finishing a course when the odds are stacked against you is a sign of an adaptation to deficiency, just as not finishing it is.
Scoring well, no matter what the test, in a pencil and paper sort of context has nothing to do with scoring well in life.

I think I can see both sides of this, perhaps because I fall somewhere in the middle, smarter than average but not intellectually gifted. I also have Chronic Fatigue besides AS, and I find myself trapped with no job and no prospects. If I were smarter, I might be able to do something on my own, like write a book, which I have attempted to do with mixed results. To be honest it makes me feel kind of inferior to read about people who are so much more gifted than I am, even if I realize it's my problem and not theirs, and even if I realize that being highly intelligent comes at a cost, sometimes a very high cost, as you describe. But sometimes talking about one's giftedness does come off as insensitive (not in your case).

On the other hand, I have encountered problems with people who said they were intimidated by my intelligence. I was bullied by a group of women I had met online who were interested in my special interest (a band). They were bored housewives looking to enjoy some fun by being fans, and they couldn't tolerate that I was smarter than they were, and they dealt with it in a very catty and mean way. (I didn't throw it in their face or even talk about it ever, but it came out anyway, in the things I talked about and how I expressed myself.) It was a very painful experience. I was also fired from a crappy job at a cafe once because the new manager couldn't stand that I had gone to a "fancy college."

I am intellectually gifted, and if I have learned anything in my adolescence it is this: Telling everybody about it is NOT a way to become accepted in society. NT, AS or other.

Well... I would more like to see a point to it all. To get a feeling that me screwing up human relations at least give me something back.


Even worse. She said at the last of our many meetings that "I am sure you have AS, but I can't give you the diagnose* since you managed to finish school."
* I used the word "diagnose" as this was a rather rough translation from my own language. It will be a bit off.

I agree. It all came out weird. Especially since the next to last session, she basically gave me the diagnose stating that she had suspected this from day one. They had had a meeting between colleagues, and suddenly the school was a criteria.

Last edited by evilduck on 07 Jan 2011, 4:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

I totally agree with you on this. But if I weren't "enough AS", they could have told me.

I agree. The problem is that I suck at it. My definition of "well" does not suit the rest of the world - meaning I don't fit the system, that in turn make me not live well. So there's a "lesser of two evils"-situation going. It can be quite frustrating at times.

That's what I though too. I was quite surprised at that conclusion of our sessions. It's not that it is important for me to have AS, but it is important to have an explanation to all "the weird stuff".
And just because I did well in school, my inability to look at people chewing gum or tapping their foot is suddenly normal/common? My stomach-ache when I listen to people with a certain "song" to their tone of speaking-voice is suddenly normal or common? The list goes on and on.
"Noooo. You finished school."

It ranks up there right next to telling people that their "smartness" doesn't make them any better than you.
Specifically since this post wasn't about telling about smartness, but to give a reference to why AS could not be diagnosed. Your inability to focus on the main point does not help in keeping the posts on track.

That wasn't directed at you, so you can put your hackles down

It DOES seem important to me that your therapist is making a bad call on this. Basic intelligence is not a criteria for being on the spectrum. If you are going to continue seeing this person, how can it be productive if you have no confidence in the DX? Also, if you switch to a different one, the DX will follow you and you will have to work with the next one to get it corrected.

No, I'm not seeing her anymore. At the moment I am on medication for the mental feedback I am experiencing, and that makes my life bearable. Sensory input is still a major problem, but with medication I can just remove myself from the situation, and the torment will cease within a few minutes. Imagine that - they couldn't give me a "paper" for it, but medication they could give...
Before this, this mental feedback would make my every-day life hell. I could after hearing a person repeat "verbal weed" several times be left with a stomach-ache for (at the worst) hours. By verbal weed I mean useless words in conversation, which sadly is all too common in the country I live in now. I can not translate this to english, since I don't know an analogue for it. A terrible case was been when I was "forced" to listen to people eat for a good couple of hours. It gave me a break-down-type reaction. I think my brain melted. It felt like that.

So all in all, I have chosen to continue on the medication just because it makes it possible for me to a greater extent be a part of work-life and most other parts of life that includes other people. It does in no way remove any AS symptoms, but I can be among people again. That's enough for me.

So - no - I do not see any shrink right now. I have a very understanding wife that understands that I am "special" (as she calls it). She is my "shrink" now. She is the one thing in this world that I can anchor to when the waves get too high. We also have two beautiful children that reminds me every single day that there is something to live for and that there is a purpose to it all.
So - no - I do not see any shrink right now. I have my therapy at home.

Sorry if I seemed to harsh. I do tend to not know that.