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MrXxx my mental health is so screwed up at the moment that i am not even giving the death threats a second thought.

All the problems in my family is caused by me inability to function and my personal issues. I know deep down i am to blame. Sometimes it can be annyoing that my parents put thier jobs before helping me though.

Yes i have made death threats but of course i would never carry them out and i am just trying to stand my ground with my brother.




On a side note? WTF a push is equally bad as murdering somone. I know a really well brought friend who is not a nasty person at all and when he was 19 he pushed his mother who retaliated back by giving him a slap across the face.

I'm not sure what you mean by "not giving the death threats a second thought." If you mean you aren't taking them seriously from your brother, you should be. A threat is a threat. Most are only verbal and never get any further than that, but that isn't a good reason not to take them seriously, whether they are from him, or from you. A LOT of violent acts, including those that end in death are preceded by verbal threats.

Verbal threats are a clear indicator of a serious, VERY serious problem. They should NEVER be dismissed. EVER.



The first step in getting the help you need is to recognize that though there may be fault to lay on someone, who is at fault isn't the issue that needs to be addressed right up front. In most situations like this, the underlying fault doesn't belong to just one person. It is almost always MULTIPLE people at fault.

Your profile indicates you think you have AS, but it hasn't been diagnosed. If you do have a problem, either psychologically or neurologically or both, much of what you THINK is your fault, may NOT be.

You need to find out whether there are any medical and/or psychological issues behind this. Without that knowledge, there isn't much anyone, including you, can do that you can be sure will actually help. If there are medical issues involved, any attempts to resolve the kinds of problems you are describing on your own could backfire, making things even worse. When violence and/or threats of violence are part of the picture, you need to get professional help, and quick.

From what I've read, YOU are NOT the only person at fault here. Others are contributing to the cycle. Comments like that from your brother are contributing. If your parents aren't listening, that isn't your fault.

But you can't get to the bottom of any of it by staying in the situation you're in. Something has to change. Getting professional help will help you figure out what must change. Get it.



Right now, as important as this issue may be to long term therapy, this is a side issue. The main issue right now is everyone's safety. Get help!



There are a LOT of people now in prison who once believed they would never carry out their threats. Does that mean the chances are great that you would carry them out? No. The chances may be very slim, but let's say you wake up one day and find a bomb chained to your ankle. The chances of the bomb going off are a million to one. You have a phone number for a bomb diffusing team that can diffuse the bomb.

Are you going to call them, or just wait and see if the bomb explodes?



Okay, I'll give you that murdering and pushing are both wrong. But pushing doesn't put them in their graves. Pushing doesn't cause the multiple side effects of many family members suffering the loss of a family member. Pushing is not "equally" as bad as murder. It is an act of violence though. An act that can lead to hitting, retaliatory violence from the one who is pushed, or from someone else (like your brother), which can lead to further bad actions from you. Most murders are not out of the blue. Most begin with just these kinds of situations. ALL can be stopped by stopping the cycle of violence, which nearly ALWAYS begins with carelessly spoken words.

Violence is a vicious cycle that once begun, can lead to disastrous consequences, ruining lives, and even ending them.

I want to say that, "Even if nothing ever comes of what is going on in your home, the behaviors are going to cause you problems in other areas of your life," But I won't say that, because what IS going on is NOT nothing. Something bad is already happening.

The GOOD news is though, it doesn't HAVE to get worse, and it may not be as bad as it sounds. YET.


The BEST way to prevent anything from getting worse IS TO GET HELP.

You have no control over whether anyone else get help. You DO have control over whether you do.

Also, I'm getting just a little bit of a sense that you may be tending to minimize the seriousness of your situation. That's not uncommon. People often recognize they are in a situation where they need some advice, but then when they are told it may be more serious than they thought, and the seemingly drastic measures they may need to take to solve the problem, begin thinking to themselves, "Well, it's not all THAT bad."

And maybe it isn't. The problem is though, it could be. And you need to do what is necessary to find out whether it is or not.

I can tell you that help, if you were to be TOTALLY honest with a pro about what you are telling us here, is not likely going to be hard to get.

Whenever patients seek psychiatric help, they are always asked certain questions. I'll paraphrase them.

"Are you in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else?'

"Have you ever had thoughts of suicide?"

Questions like that are always asked (in the U.S. anyway, because they are required to by law). If any danger is intimated, the doctors are bound by law to treat you. That can be a sticky situation because if they think the danger is imminent, to yourself or anyone else, they do have the power to treat you without consent.

"Just be honest" is the best advice I can offer. But the main thing is, get the help, talk to them about what's going on, and listen for yourself whether they think the situation is as serious as I'm saying it could be. I'm just an anonymous person behind the internet. I haven't heard your full story. They are the ones who should.

They are the ones who can help you recognize how serious the situation is or isn't. They are the ones equipped to help.

Make some calls. Start with a crises line. There are crises centers all over the place. They aren't hard to find, and all of them are just a phone call away.

I live in England. Can i have some more info on the crisis lines and what they can offer.

Really don't wanna bump this one but 0208 5414949 (befrienders) and 0208 5491544 (Samaritans)