I feel different from most WP members

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Most important parts bolded to make it easier to skim for those who can't read long posts (this isn't as long as some of mine but still long).

Don't be too quick to assign a high IQ to people who write long posts. My IQ is right on the edge of borderline (lower than your expected IQ) and I often write long posts because I'm not able not to. It's not because I'm smart, or because I want to "seem smart", it's literally because I can't change the length of my writing. If it comes out small, it stays small. If it comes out long, it stays long. Trying to change it results in a massive meltdown on my part. I actually consider it a problem with my writing skills, not a sign of good writing skills. And believe it or not, usually I can't understand the words I write. That's because I grew up with my comprehension level so far behind my ability to parrot back the words I heard, that it started out with a comprehension level of zero by the time I could say seemingly accurate sentences, and has never even close to caught up. When I read long posts I mostly only find a few parts I understand, and respond to those, and it gets me in all kinds of trouble sometimes because people expect me to understand things that are impossible for me. And I can't stand the assumptions some people here make (not you) about the reasons that I write long posts -- that I want to "seem smart", that I want people to not understand, etc. Such people have driven me into meltdowns before trying as hard as I could to shorten long posts and nothing I could do was ever good enough for them so they accused me of not trying. My long posts aren't the result of what most people would call (if they knew it) a "smart" mind, they're more a result of a very detailed mind. I'm incapable of summarizing my own or other's writing except in very rare instances -- this is because I have trouble understanding abstractions so I have to be very concrete and detailed. That makes me stick out here as much as your posts stick out here actually (I think I write the longest posts). And they take a lot out of me because writing isn't easy for me. (Just because it comes out long doesn't make it easy. It's very hard and takes all of my effort to stay able to write at all. The moment I stop hanging on like that, I fall into a state where I don't know writing even exists.)

Please don't stop writing, though. Your posts mean a lot to me. So do a lot of people's posts here that I'm unable to respond to because nothing in them triggers the right piece of my brain to be able to respond. (And then once a response is triggered, I can't stop until it's either over or I collapse from exhaustion.)

I feel quite different from a lot of people here as well. The place I 'live' (vs. the place I visit when I come to WP, which takes all of my energy) has no words, no concepts, no ideas, etc. Not many other people here live in that place or even understand what it is. I was a little disturbed on the thread that asked if we had "a" support person that I was the only person replying that I had several a day, taking up most of the day (with just an hour or two here and there in between), every day of the week. I was a little ashamed of that. Most people here, even those who stand out for having trouble with certain kinds of thinking to the point of being diagnosed with mental retardation, never spend most of their time in a state where there is no 'thinking' of their sort at all. (I start far lower than them in that regard, and the fact that I can sometimes climb higher than them doesn't stop the fact that most of the time I can't even get to where they are. Imagine that they're at a level of 6. The fact that I can occasionally climb to a level of 8 doesn't stop the part that I start climbing at a level of 1 or 2 and live almost all of my life but for a few brief climbs in that 1 or 2 zone that most people can't even imagine.) I have a whole system of understanding the world (through what Donna Williams describes as "pattern, form, and feel", and I have no good words for) that is also foreign to anyone who usually can do what most people call thinking -- I am constantly translating from that, which is harder than translating from another language or even from pictures because language is impossible in the realm I normally think in.

I honestly think there are quite a few of us who feel different for various reasons. I don't think there are any regular posters who are that similar to you, or me, or b9, but none of us are similar to each other either, so each of us feels different and sort of left out even though there are probably a lot of people who appreciate us. I certainly appreciate you even though you're very different from me. But that doesn't always make up for there being few people here like us. (There's one poster here who is very like me but she has probably under 20 posts here.) I like your posts about the Kinks and I don't want you to go away.

I find it very easy to only write short sentences.

I find that I can write longer sentences, but it usually rambles on in a seemingly unorganized fashion. It comes with practice. Our "intelligence" is only a result of reading stuff and learning stuff. If intelligence is memorization then you aren't that smart. but intelligence does not equal memorization.

You only need to memorize things. Memorize and learn them. Memorize so you remember and learn so you know what it is you memorize. then you can organize your thoughts and take place in discussion and debates.

You can start by just stating your opinion in topics. They say the only way to get better is to do it. So you do have to do it. Just try.

Sometimes I can only type in simple words myself. it does not make me any stupider, it only means that I have not learned words yet, or that I have not learned how to use them in an idea/sentence.

Same with your school. I don't agree with the IQ test, I think some of it has to be taught. I mean, you have to know all the countries of the world in order to know if one of the combinations of words turns out to be one of those countries right? And if you didn't remember a math problem it only means you didn't remember it.


Last and certainly the most important. I accept you! I really hope you keep posting and learning.

A reason why I feel different to others here is because my posts aren't usually as long as others.

Be cool man.

I am sure no one here is judging you.

You gotta be yourself. Besides the kinks and the 60's are cool.

I try not to write walls of text, but sometimes it's hard to avoid. I'm not trying to be pedantic, I try to explain everything I can about some things because to do otherwise feels incomplete. I know I can come across as pedantic (I especially do in real life, sometimes about silly things...like my mother claiming to have multiple Rudolphs in her Frontierville - there's only one, damnit). I don't think I get to the point of having meltdowns if I don't (like Anbuend) but I have found that trying to edit those posts down causes me a lot of anxiety, so I just click send rather than deal with it.

I value pretty much everyone who posts here who isn't antagonistic* (like the guy who started the anti-self diagnosis thread and admitted to trolling), for whatever that's worth, given that I am both a new and fairly frequent poster who has a penchant for walls of text.

* I realize some communication styles can come across as antagonistic without antagonistic intent. I've done this myself. I mean to distinguish between that and people who actually seem to want to antagonize people for their own amusement or sense of moral outrage.

Technically everybody is unique in their own ways and yea, sometimes I feel different to most people here since I seem to come across as all sorts of things.

You CockneyRebel on the other hand are different and actually, being different is cool and is actually an inspiration and it sounds like you don't even let anything put you down from your interests which is of course "The Kinks" and the other music bands in the 60's and that would be a good thing to be unique.

Out of alot of people my age, if some people may have not noticed, I tend to occasionally sound alot older than I'm already am and that's actually because of what I went through in the past which gave me the advantage of speaking in that perspective and nowadays, it appears to be unique and sometimes different from people and I'm actually starting to grow fond of it.

I write short but sometimes long sentences but it depends on the mood that I'm in.

I could come across as a angry person here and the next a pretty interesting character (according to some but I cannot mention names).

Being who you are and knowing who you are is what soon starts to make people respect you and accept you more for who you are because you wouldn't be ashamed.

People do try to take advantage but you got to learn to not let them do it or put you off things you love and feel comfortable with and with what you love doing and those are the people who probably themselves have an issue which it would have nothing to do with you but with the invidiual that does.

Sometimes, I can't stand the fact that I was actually rather intelligent for my age and despite being diagnosed with autism, growing up was the hardest thing for me as I suddenly became to grow to realise how different I am and became so self-concious that half the times, I would try to blend in with the crowd and that would never always work.

When I realise being different was actually a great advantage for me, I realise that you don't have to do all that to make yourself cool because you would be cooler and original and I would actually see you as a good role model for members here at WP.

End of long talk.

- SBI.

OMG superboyian , your avatar!! ! sorry for off topic but i laughed out loud..

I guess that we all feel different from each other.

Oh Anubend I didn't mean people that write long blog posts have high IQ's but usually the longer blog posts are really hard to follow because the posters appear to be much more verbose than me.
I really try to read all your posts. They're very interesting and don't involve too many difficult words.
I think you are smart and Cockney Rebel too.
I had a learning disorder where I couldn't even write a full paragraph and I never got punctuation. I mean maybe I was just so bad at writing that I never bothered with it but I could never write any of the types of posts that I see on this forum. I actually picked up correct punctuation from posting on forums. Good thing I'm a great mimicker.
The weird thing is on my really inattentive non-medicated days I can write loads. More than I would if I was medicated. It's all a bunch of impulsive jargon but I certainly do write a lot.

BTW, my favourite person in the world is a famous rockstar drummer. He is possibly the nicest person in the world too.