Hate the question "How are you?"?

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Hate it.

When it's asked, I have to stop and think about how I am. Or how am I? If I go with it, and think the nebulous question through, the inquisitor tires of waiting, shrugs, and leaves without getting an answer. That or they stay and watch the uncomfortable show.

I found the following responses to be generally acceptable:

- "Fine", "Good", "How are you" (People get confused, and shut up at that point), "Great" works even with, "Flat Affect Face", and I've even gotten successful results with, "Better Than You". Careful with that last one.
Unacceptable responses:

- "How the hell should I know?" Trust me on that one.


Hope this helps,

Joe

I've become resigned to it over the years, realizing almost no one really wants to know. Still it irritates me a bit; why ask a question you don't want an answer to?

Yeah, I answer random things a lot. Sometimes NTs find it funny.

One of my stock phrases is "Meh - it's too early to tell".
That usually floors 'em.

I'm totally guilty of this. When I ask people I don't know very well, "How are you?" I'm not expecting anything more than "good", "fine", "tired", etc. To be honest, I don't really see it as a question, but more of a phrase of greeting I guess. When I hear "How are you?" from a stranger or someone I'm just getting to know what I really hear is "I'm friendly and I'm willing to talk with you".

Me waiting for class to start: Hi
Classmate: Hi, how are you?
Me: I'm good and you?
Classmate: Not bad
Me: I'm am kind of worried about that Calculus exam tomorrow tho...blah blah blah

As opposed to...

Me: Hi
Classmate: Hi

Now, I know there are many other scenarios...some where someone might ask and really not want to talk, but I find for the most part it works for me. Chit chat can be difficult and I find the "Hi, how are you?" helps...then I can easily steer the convo to school and then I can talk forever, haha

Hate it. Even if they did care how I feel, I usually feel pretty horrible and I don't want or need thier pity.

A simmilar question I hate is "How was dinner?" My mom asks all the time and I keep telling her "I don't know, I ate it didn't I? Stop asking." I mean unless it's especially good or particularly bad what can I say?

I say both 'how are you' and 'fine' naturally enough, but it feels like a peripheral unless the other person says something other than the stock response. Then I can do so too, which would create a conversation.

I'm not NT but I don't mind when people say ''how are you?'' or ''you all right?'' I even say it.

This same question came up on a mental health forum I am on. I replied there that I hate it and think it should be banned. I know most people don't want your life story and I do try to be non-committal and keep my answer to one or two words, and I try to remember to ask them back. The thing is, I'm really not that comfortable with saying I'm fine when I'm not, and that comes across and prompts further questioning, which is usually unwelcome and uncomfortable on both sides, so it's often a disaster waiting to happen.

I hate it. I always answer 'good'. I know it's weird, but I can't really think of a good answer. I mean, exactly how much do they expect you to tell them?

Just thought of something worse, when someone asks and you say something like "Good" just to shut them up and then they go "Well thats good to hear, glad you're doing alright!"

What are we, suddenly a council of complete liars? Its bad enough I have to lie and keep it short but then you have to congratulate me on my lie and make one yourself?

Never liked it.
But I have a default answer that everybody likes:
- Getting better everyday.

I learned from a young age, it's a sort of retorical question. People don't really care or want to know. It's just something they've been trained by society to say when they see someone. I learned to "fake it" quite young and usualy when people ask me how I am, I just say, "Fine. How are you?" If it's someone I know well, I tell them the truth and they ask why. I tell them why and they seem concerned.

My mom asks me how I am in the morning and I often say, "I don't know" and I am telling the truth. Emotions are basicaly an alien concept I will never fully master. My mom dosen't ask for a more detailed answer and usualy asks me something else such as what I plan on doing that day or about my latest picture or story.

I ask people "how are you?" all time because I've been conditioned to do so. I never know how to respond to it when I'm the one who's asked, though. Half of the time I don't even know how I feel, really.

Yup...hate it, because I don't think the person asking really wants the truth lol.

I feel it is very superficial, and used to hate it, but I think I have grown so used to it that I don't really think about it much anymore. It seems as routine to me as saying hello. It's the people that say how are you with a tone of voice/inflection that suggests they actually really want to know that I care about. I do genuinely care about people, so I would be happy if they gave me a genuine answer!