Adult male aspies being bullied by teenage boys?

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I agree with a lot of that, I'd rather a more 'holistic' approach was taken to people's problems. I'd prescribe a martial art and meditation for everyone.

You're certainly right. In MY case though, they often make MISTAKES! They may think I am serious or joking when I am not, and I don't yell if I am mad.

I think that if someone is not visibly strong but knows martial art then perhaps it is not as helpful as someone being visibly strong but does not know how to fight because it is much more desirable that the person deters any violence.

I can see your perspective. I'd say that the thing that martial arts can give you that weight training alone doesn't is a kind of presence... a way of standing, moving and being that is controlled, purposeful, and efficient. In Aikido we spend a lot of time simply learning to stand and move with mind and body in harmony, and relaxing whilst under 'attack'. I think that overall, the 'aura' of 'self posession' that you develop from that is a great deterrent.

And remember, if someone actually does attack you, you have an effective defence technique as well.

No doubt that a stack of muscle can also make someone think twice, but I think that in terms of energy investment, an effective martial art gives better results for less work. What can I say, I like bang for buck. And you don't have to eat half a cow everday.

But then, there's no harm having it all though, If that's what you want and have the resources.

Well said, Moog. In kung fu they say the beginning martial artist will get in a fight and probably lose, the intermediate one will probably win, and the advanced one won't get into a fight in the first place. There comes a point where it would simply be an unfair fight and you know you have the advantage. It helps you develop compassion and with compassion fights and bullying just can't sustain themselves. Sure, the bullies try, but they always give up.

I'm a small woman and getting big muscles isn't really an option for me. Big guys can still get in fights but it doesn't mean they'll win. I have effortlessly put men more than twice my size wherever I want them - I mean physically moved them. I think for the investment put into building muscles or learning a martial art, that the martial art has better, longer lasting returns.

I think this is key. I'm a woman so perhaps less likely to be prone to random bullying than a man, but more likely to be harassed by men with lewd comments. I have found that how I carry myself is the best deterrent. I'm not exactly badass but I walk with purpose and a comfortable stride. The only, rare, times that people have bothered me have been times when I was really tired, and I looked downcast and spaced out. I don't think it's necessary to learn martial arts to develop a confident. purposeful walking style.

I think the lewd comments can be a form of bullying. It's certainly not done with a good heart as is evident if you ignore them. They get very upset and start calling you names because you don't play their game.

I agree with your point about not having to study martial arts to develop a walking style, but with the martial arts training I've had I can take my time and move like I want - I don't have to be purposeful in getting from point A to point B. I did try that for a while but found kung fu to be much more effective as it changed me from the inside out.

I agree with you that learning martial arts would probably be ideal and certainly more effective, my point is just that there are also simpler steps that can be taken.

And I also agree with you that men making lewd comments is a form of bullying. I know that some women find it violating and even frightening, though I myself only find it annoying. I am more bothered when other women call out insults at me, or try to provoke me by claiming I was staring at them, though as I've said it has only happened rarely. But it's unnerving when it does happen.

I was 130 lbs pound two years earlier being 5' 10. After lifting weight randomly at home and not eating much, I gained only 2 lbs. Then I started doing gym with high intent and good diet and I gained 9 lbs. Now I am 140 lbs. I have learned a lot about bodybuilding. I have not been doing gym due to an injury. When I will start I will apply those method. I think by doing gym properly one can build huge muscles in 1 1/2 year or 2 years.
I will use this book. I am not advertising anything, I am not stand to gain anything, but this guy claims that he gained 41 lbs in 6 months. He shows his earlier pictures. Although one cannot measure time difference from those picture but his results are huge and impressive. I think every aspie can do gym for two years.
The other thing I consider important is Music. Those who are interested and even average at it should play some instrument, I believe that playing an instrument can be an effective strategy against depression.

Last edited by daspie on 21 Mar 2011, 12:51 am, edited 3 times in total.

Both very true... and you can add to that a healthy dose of ignoring those who bully you and acting like they do not even exist. That will just drive them crazy because they all feed on attention. If you give them none, they become lower than whatever they are belittling you for being.

I know very well first hand because I am both Aspie and gay and had to spend 13 years of my life fighting off roughly 1000 people on the island where I used to live. Would you believe that an island exists where a person is treated like dirt for NOT having STDs (even the nurse belittled me for it)? It does exist and I lived there for most of my working life. The bizarre thing is that the population was 95 percent male and they were all messing around with each other but belittling me for both that, for not partaking with them, for not having STDs and for making every one of them look like total fools.

Anyhow, the population is mostly under the age of 20-22 so I have a lot of experience in dealing with teen bullies in the worst possible way. Teen males do not bother me when they are alone and I actually find them to be nicer than most people. However when they get together in groups, all bets are off and the best thing to do is to simply avoid them if possible. Of course the same thing applies to any groups of people male or female, where they all are trying to prove something to each other and get an imaginary feather in their hats by doing so.

The ones who bother me more than teens are the 20-30 something males. By the time they reach that age they have lost their innocence of youth and learned how to be deceptive, manipulating liars. The same thing also applies to some 30 and 40 somethings too as I am having to deal with tonight with one neighbor. But that is another story for another post I am planning for the near future.

This. Times 10. Especially when perception >> reality in the eyes of a neurotypical.

I find that I'm currently only good for short bursts of social interaction, and that I have to work it like a muscle to go for longer periods.