introverts-guide-to-thinking-less-and-being-better

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Yes, this is probably the biggest reason this site is called Wrong Planet. It could just as easily be called Vulcan.

I absolutely agree you still have tone of voice in words. What I mean is that people mistake me for being mad when I'm not. Or being upset when I'm not. Or being sarcastic, when I'm not being either.

Here it seems I can clearly state what I need without alwyas being mistaken for another.



lol.

I agree that this is a good article.

When I was in high school, we were required to give a speech to the other people in our class about something.

I talked about my personality and introversion. The audience seemed to like it a lot, and the director of the school who is an introvert, listened to the speech and shook my hand and complimented me on it afterwards.

Yeah, I thought that was great! I think when I was younger I never used to go to the 'toilet'. I don't want to get too graphic in describing the kind of mess that causes.



Yeah, that's one model that people are taking seriously. You do sound like you could very easily be mildly autistic. I think a lot of my favourite bloggers are.



That's pretty gosh darn cruel now I think about it. I didn't get on with school at all.



Maybe this thread bought up a couple things you can use?

I'm definitely interested in taking a look.

Cool!

Spread the good word.

Well just because i am depressed does not mean I am always thinking depressed thoughts, I can be thinking about things I like and still feel depressed.

Mega-respect to you for being able to respond to criticism of your ideas without getting upset/taking it personally.

So you don't have unpleasant thoughts then?

All I'm saying is that thinking is not always a benign, wholesome, or useful activity. I'm not attacking thinking, I do it quite often. I recognise that many aspies hold thinking to be quite sacred. I also recognise when it's getting me into a state.

I agree that over-thinking can be damaging and this is something I struggle with. However as an introvert with high intelligence I do seem to be aware of a certain prejudice in this extrovert-centric society against people who prefer "thinking" as opposed to "doing" in terms of gaining needed stimulation. I mean, it's just frustrating and counterproductive to have people telling me to be more like someone I'm not. I realize that my mind is wired in such a way as to not tolerate a vacuum and thus I need to focus on replacing negative ruminations with positive intellectual activity. Simply trying to rid my mind of thoughts just isn't a realistic approach, not even when I'm in the most relaxed meditative state possible, as I am always reflecting to some degree.

The more people give me advice that seems like forcing me to smash a square peg into a round hole the more I start to resent people and dismiss them as anti-intellectual fluff-brains who want to push nonsense and offer no real solutions for a person as unique as me. There just comes a point where the whole "positive psychology" thing feels like a counterproductive force that is pushing me deeper into depression and negative thinking on a whole. I guess on a whole there is just a part of me that resents being told how to think, feel, act, etc... in order to be more functional in an societal environment that just seems oppressive and soul-sucking.

I'm not really criticizing the article itself (though the title gives kind of a false impression). Just explaining why a lot of people struggle and get frustrated, or find it hard to even be open to certain advice in the first place. It is kind of a delicate issue I guess. Being totally closed to ideas on self-improvement is bad on the one end, but going on the assumption that things that work for other people will necessarily work for me and then running into a brick-wall of frustration is equally demoralizing and counterproductive.

Not trying to be overcritical or negative. Just saying that I can kind of feel the same frustration/resentment that Sweetleaf expressed in being told to "think less".

If I could live anywhere in any fictional environment, it would be Vulcan. They are such good people. And by the way that's an interesting article, although I somewhat happen to disagree with it for many other reasons posted here.

I agree with most of your concerns, when I read the headline today I cringe and I wrote it. In my opinion most people don't think enough, so it's not often I tell people to actually think LESS.

At the same time, over-thinking is a problem that both you and I admit to, and I believe it is something that can be worked on.

I also don't think my advice is a panacea for everyone, they are just suggestions. Positive psychology is about what works and what's real - it's a science. But it doesn't imply that everyone works the exact same way.

I thought I'd append this article to this thread... more intie/extie stuff, some stuff about aspies and culture... a bit of a heady one, but great insights here, I thought. Might help explain a few things.

http://www.ribbonfarm.com/2011/04/07/ex ... nd-codies/

I found these two lists particularly interesting.

Thanks for sharing the website!

Unlike other members of the forum, I tend to agrre with your definition of "introversion" - my impression is that many introverts (including me), not only avoid social contacts but also:

- are less interested in physical activities (like sports) than extroverts
- in school, are more interested in the more academic subject and less in the more "hands-on" subjects than extroverts
- are more self.absorbed with their own thoughts and more "innattentive"
- when they play computer games, prefer games with a component of "inner reflection" (like strategy or adventure) while extroverts prefer games more of reaction to "external stimulus" (like action games)
- iare more prone to consider reading (about, for example, a distant country)a reasonable proxy for real experience, while extroverts are more prone to experiment things in reality
- and, sometimes, some introverts have almost an "imaginary social life" prefering that to the "real social life"(example - being totally in love with a girl, be always thinking in her, but loosing all the interests if the relation becomes real)

All these points indicate that at least some introverts have more a general lack of interest in the concrete, external, world than a mere like of interest in "social world" (the lack of interest in the "social world" is simply because "social world" belongs to the "concrete, external, world").

However, I am (according to MBTI typology) an "Introvert-iNtuitive"; perhaps I am mixing the introvert traits with the intuitive traits.

I can relate to all of these. Related to your last point, I find I sympathize/empathize more with fictional chararacters in movies than I do in real life. People dying in real life even close to me don't upset me as much as someone dying in a movie, etc. I'm not sure why.