Why don't girls like being around me?

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16 ^^

Well its probably a number of things.

There was this guy in 3rd form (13) myself and my friend wouldn't go near. He farted in public, had bad hygene, and hit on people.

It is possible that girls think that you are interested in them and are making an effort to let you know they're not. It sucks, because you probably aren't interested in them, but they flatter themselves. At school people don't like anyone slightly different. It's "gross". Stick it out, hopefully for you life will improve as you get older.

This is the main thing I can think of here.

"People have committed suicide over social rejection. It's nothing to casually dismiss. But if you act like it is, then people will take notice. If you pretend to be confident and independent, people will start to treat you like you are, which will help you actually become confident and independent.

And again, take this advice with a grain of salt, because it's only been used once."

I've attempted it three times, with one hospitalization.
And I dress normally -- in fact I dress in a way that makes me look confident and awake.
I brush my teeth everyday and apply deodorant, too
But I happen to stare at people a lot. And somebody said I always look sad or on edge.

WTF dude, don't brag. How is this relevant to my situation? I don't want to hear your luck because I can't even get a girl to listen to me when I talk to her casually.

Did you read my post?

I can tell you exactly why. They think you are hitting on them. Many young girls have an over inflated sense of self importance.
Just don't bother imo. You can't win. You have to wait for them to out grow it.

Yeah. maybe, but still that guy probably got 10x the female respect than I did.

If you're not cool in highschool girls don't want to be seen around you, and vice versa. Its just the way it is. Later in life you will realise they aren't worth it.

A guy at school liked me and was cool, but got convinced to stop liking me by his friends because I was uncool.

School is pathetic really. You only have a few more years.

When I was in my final years of high school and when I was in my 20's my friends told me there were quite a few women who were hitting on me at school or at parties but I never noticed. I thought they were either wanting to talk or being complimentary maybe asking questions because they were being nice.

My suggestion look at what everyone else is wearing and copy it. It did not keep people from tormenting me but it did make me look less scary looking. I had a lot of luck with women who went to different high schools. I took vocational training outside of the school for two hours a day. It got me out of school for 2 hours and I met some of the coolest people I never would have met before. None of them knew me as that kid who use to be in special education but as that Todesking guy who likes metal and horror films They were more willing to hear what I had to say.

Last edited by Todesking on 14 Apr 2011, 12:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

I couldn't agree more and it's amazing how much resistance and hostility I meet almost every time I say it

Girl's do not like it when you are either constantly following them or try to be involved in their every conversation! Just relax and be yourself, in time the right girl will come along! I speak from insight and experience(and even if you don't ever get a date, being single isn't all that bad)! Take advantage of this time to develop solid friendships with both girls and boys about your same age. Every good dating/marriage relationship starts out as a strong friendship!

I think the reason for this is that you must go to school and you can't opt out or change schools to get away from someone or flee a bad reputation if a relationship goes sour. Let's say you're 2 years from graduating. That means, if all the other students think you're a loser because you've dated someone with the loser label, even if the label is undeserved, then you're stuck with that for the next 2 years. Or the relationship goes bad and you're uncomfortable being around the person you dated, then you'll still be stuck with having to see that person every day until you graduate. Not good, now that I think about it. That's why high schoolers should concentrate on finishing and then figuring out what they're going to do after graduating.

Dating is for life situations that permit getting away from the other person if you want to. School sucks, at least for dating.

Hi Hybridsoul

I had a totally crappy time at highschool.
It was a continuation of my crappy time at junior school, but with a much more complex social system that I did not ever connect with.

In junior school, I was considered odd; ostracised and bullied. I did have some friends (mostly male, only one female; I am female), however, in highschool my female friend became more interested in a wider social circle. My male friends no longer wanted to associate with me as I was female. The complexity of the social interactions was entirely beyond me.

Throughout my school years, I had absolutely no idea that I was autistic.
My oddness was attributed to very high intelligence, and a hard family life.
By age 14 I had no associates at school.

My associates were adults, and I met valuable adult friends outside of school.
I think that meeting people outside of school would be good for you, too.

Teenagers tend to use fairly primitive social judgements. They are concerned with developing their social status, and will ostracise other people in order to define their own status.

I will emphasise that there does NOT have to be anything "wrong" with you, for others to ostracise you. This is an automatic social process. I suggest that the main reason others reject you socially is that they simply do not understand you. They identify that you are different (which you are, being Autistic), but they do not understand what this is.

Not understanding something makes people feel uncomfortable. Feeling uncomfortable leads people to rejection. Take math, for example: many people find math difficult to understand, which makes them feel uncomfortable, whereapon they reject math and no longer attempt to learn it. Basically they avoid discomfort. The source of their discomfort is in their own mind, not in the math. I hope this analogy makes sense.

You have a great advantage over me, in that you know about your ASD, wheras I did not. I had no understanding of my own situation and this was very very hard. I encourage you to maximise your strengths. Develop your interests. This leads to success and fulfilment. Success and fulfilment are very appealing features; other people are attracted to these things automatically.


hope these ideas are interesting to you.

You can do what I did and find a wife overseas..

My point: when I ignored girls and focussed on myself and less on social cognition the girls became intrigued. Try it. From what it sound like you have nothing to lose.

BTW for what its worth I never too advantage of the opportunities that passed my way.

This has gone way into a tangent.

I think most of you are on the wrong track. I'm not proud to admit this but I have been in the girls place when I was a teenager.
I know what i'm talking about.

Uhh... you know, women aren't trophies. We're human beings. Forming a connection with a woman is very much like forming a connection with any other kind of human being--both sides get to know each other, then you work out the terms of your relationship, learn to cooperate and compromise. It seems rather odd to me that so many men (especially younger ones) seem to imply that they want a girl--any girl--as though we were all the same, coming off some production line, and interchangeable! I've seen enough relationships crash and burn to know that if you don't find the right girl--one who likes you, one who respects you and whom you also like and respect; one with whom you enjoy spending time--you're better off not having a relationship with any girl at all.