KBerg wrote:
I dunno, I dislike that whole twofaced thing that people usually use to cover how they lie. But sometimes taking an interest and staying on top of what's happening is also helpful. I've heard about discontentment I wouldn't have known about (and been able to take some steps to address them) through listening to what people were saying about what others thought. It's a very round about way of getting information, but in a few cases I never would have even known (because people always forget to tell me) important information I needed.
Heck, it's common where I live that people won't confront you about things that upset them or problems they had, they'll talk about it to their friends and it's generally assumed that the issue will reach you via gossip and small talk indirectly so that no one needs to risk losing face in a confrontation. This is a cultural difference, here if someone's bothered by you leaving your coffee mug on the table after meetings they won't confront you and tell you to your face. Expecting them to will get you absolutely frigging nowhere either since it's going directly against the cultural norm and makes you the aggressive freak who'll walk up to people and get in their face when they did everything right. But if you listen you will hear about it indirectly, and it won't be intended as an attack - at least not initially - just a heads up, and you are of course allowed to use the same channel to pass along your minor issues.
I will not though listen to people shittalk or spread vile lies, I'm interested in how people are doing, what they're up to, but stuff like the earlier mentioned gossiping about whether the man was gay or not - I don't put up with that kind of crap.
Ah, I would much prefer to be told directly than to hear it by way of gossip.. And, here, most of the gossip involves making sh*t up or wildly exaggerating the details or making fun of the person. That is what I have an issue with. But I may be overly sensitive since I have spent most of my life being made fun of and having people make things up behind my back. So when I see it happen to someone else...I get really pissed off. It's wrong, in my opinion.
I'd rather not be told at all, not have them tell anyone else and forget about it.
22 Apr 2011, 6:11 pm
