Do NTs seem devoid of emotions?
22 May 2011, 10:25 pm
MotownDangerPants wrote:
marshall wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
I do see how most people fake emotions. How can you know what emotions they really feel if they feign offense and present emotions that they don't feel deeply so often? I don't think people are actually offended when they act like thy are most of the time. This is my big thing. It's like they *want* to be offended so I don't buy into it. If I've said something that someone is offended by, but not for true emotional reasons,, I just ignore them or basically let them know that they are ridiculous, in so many words.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
You have to be careful though. Just because a reaction seems ridiculous from your perspective doesn't mean the reaction is disingenuous. I only say this because I don't like being on the receiving end when other people decide I'm being ridiculous and refuse to understand me.
I was thinking about this, too, but even if the reaction is genuine, should they still be met with sympathy if it is just ridiculous?
I mean if someone was TRULY hurt over something that I thought was ridiculous I would apologize, but if they just had butthurt and I didn't find what I said all that offensive, I don't think it would bother me.
Whether or not you find something offensive doesn't necessarily have any bearing on whether the other person is genuinely offended or not. It's their feelings, not yours. Whether or not someone is acting mature or has good reason to take offense to something you said and whether they are being genuine in their emotional reaction to what you said are two entirely separate things.
I'm not trying to attack you or say that you were wrong in any anecdotal circumstance. You may be right that the offended party was disingenuous. I'm just saying to question your assumptions about people.
22 May 2011, 11:09 pm
marshall wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
marshall wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
I do see how most people fake emotions. How can you know what emotions they really feel if they feign offense and present emotions that they don't feel deeply so often? I don't think people are actually offended when they act like thy are most of the time. This is my big thing. It's like they *want* to be offended so I don't buy into it. If I've said something that someone is offended by, but not for true emotional reasons,, I just ignore them or basically let them know that they are ridiculous, in so many words.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
You have to be careful though. Just because a reaction seems ridiculous from your perspective doesn't mean the reaction is disingenuous. I only say this because I don't like being on the receiving end when other people decide I'm being ridiculous and refuse to understand me.
I was thinking about this, too, but even if the reaction is genuine, should they still be met with sympathy if it is just ridiculous?
I mean if someone was TRULY hurt over something that I thought was ridiculous I would apologize, but if they just had butthurt and I didn't find what I said all that offensive, I don't think it would bother me.
Whether or not someone is acting mature or has good reason to take offense to something you said and whether they are being genuine in their emotional reaction to what you said are two entirely separate things.
This is what I mean, though. I can read emotions pretty well so most of the time I can tell if they are genuine or not, but even if they are, and they 're being very irrational in their offense, do they still deserve sympathy?
I don't know LOL. I'm not saying they don't, I'm just saying I probably wouldn't give it to them. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. It's just that these are the kind of people who are going to be constantly offended nearly everyday of their lives, so I don't know how much time I'm supposed to spend trying to mend things with them. I may or may not apologize, depending on the situation and how close I was with the person.
But by no means am I the type who will just say *anything* and not expect any consequences, I explain myself to most people and am usually not found to be a rude or hurtful person by those who have good sense, you know?
But I don't go around offending people as much as I might sound like I do lol.
23 May 2011, 6:33 am
in my experience, it is complicated, i believe NT's have a different type of emotions.
trying to explain it; NT's use what i'd call 'reasoned' emotions, they express the emotion that is socially accepted in a certain situation, and frown opon everyone that doesn't (happyness upon receiving a present, whatever it is; sadness over losing even the most trivial of objects...)
for aspies, they tend to have more 'primal' emotions, the real mental state recieved from the input, kind of the same way as cats/dogs/other animals have them; the standard web of lies that NT's fold around them prevent them from feeling this primal instinct (or, that's how i feel at least)
23 May 2011, 1:41 pm
MotownDangerPants wrote:
marshall wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
marshall wrote:
MotownDangerPants wrote:
I do see how most people fake emotions. How can you know what emotions they really feel if they feign offense and present emotions that they don't feel deeply so often? I don't think people are actually offended when they act like thy are most of the time. This is my big thing. It's like they *want* to be offended so I don't buy into it. If I've said something that someone is offended by, but not for true emotional reasons,, I just ignore them or basically let them know that they are ridiculous, in so many words.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
I can tell when something I say is truly offensive, as I have emotions too, so usually I keep these things to myself because I understand how it would make people feel and I don't want to hurt them.
I think feigning offense and carrying around unnecessary or inauthentic emotions is self-limiting, I really don't get it.
You have to be careful though. Just because a reaction seems ridiculous from your perspective doesn't mean the reaction is disingenuous. I only say this because I don't like being on the receiving end when other people decide I'm being ridiculous and refuse to understand me.
I was thinking about this, too, but even if the reaction is genuine, should they still be met with sympathy if it is just ridiculous?
I mean if someone was TRULY hurt over something that I thought was ridiculous I would apologize, but if they just had butthurt and I didn't find what I said all that offensive, I don't think it would bother me.
Whether or not someone is acting mature or has good reason to take offense to something you said and whether they are being genuine in their emotional reaction to what you said are two entirely separate things.
This is what I mean, though. I can read emotions pretty well so most of the time I can tell if they are genuine or not, but even if they are, and they 're being very irrational in their offense, do they still deserve sympathy?
.
You don't have to be sympathetic if their offended feeling is irrational. But you should accept that their offended feeling is an actual feeling and not faked. There is no emotional rule that only rational feelings are real feelings. Irrational feelings are perfectly real too.
23 May 2011, 2:17 pm
Jamissy wrote:
Quote:
You don't have to be sympathetic if their offended feeling is irrational. But you should accept that their offended feeling is an actual feeling and not faked. There is no emotional rule that only rational feelings are real feelings. Irrational feelings are perfectly real too.
OKAY LOL. I'll just quote myself, in case you missed it.
Quote:
This is what I mean, though. I can read emotions pretty well so most of the time I can tell if they are genuine or not, but even if they are, and they 're being very irrational in their offense, do they still deserve sympathy?
I am aware they can be real. I know I don't have to be sympathetic and depending on the situation, I may or may not be.
I don't believe that every feeling that is *real* deserves to be met with sympathy, not even my own. But I'm not God, lol. It's not that important how I feel about it and like I said, I don't just go around aimlessly hurting other people's feelings without remorse.
I explain myself to people, I listen to them and process what they say. I'm aways fair, I didn't say I was the most sensitive person on the planet but I'm not an a**hole. I just don't like to play games. If people put words in my mouth or choose to be offended by what I say because they're only hearing what they want to, It's not my problem. This is something people love to do and if I let it hold me back, I'd be arguing, like this, with people all the time. This isn't something I enjoy doing.
If I said that everyone should be like me and that I what I say is RIGHT, I could understand all of this fuss but otherwise, I think you guys are making something out of nothing just because you feel like it.
23 May 2011, 2:38 pm
izzeme wrote:
in my experience, it is complicated, i believe NT's have a different type of emotions.
trying to explain it; NT's use what i'd call 'reasoned' emotions, they express the emotion that is socially accepted in a certain situation, and frown opon everyone that doesn't (happyness upon receiving a present, whatever it is; sadness over losing even the most trivial of objects...)
for aspies, they tend to have more 'primal' emotions, the real mental state recieved from the input, kind of the same way as cats/dogs/other animals have them; the standard web of lies that NT's fold around them prevent them from feeling this primal instinct (or, that's how i feel at least)
trying to explain it; NT's use what i'd call 'reasoned' emotions, they express the emotion that is socially accepted in a certain situation, and frown opon everyone that doesn't (happyness upon receiving a present, whatever it is; sadness over losing even the most trivial of objects...)
for aspies, they tend to have more 'primal' emotions, the real mental state recieved from the input, kind of the same way as cats/dogs/other animals have them; the standard web of lies that NT's fold around them prevent them from feeling this primal instinct (or, that's how i feel at least)
I very much agree with this. I think NTs are much better at expressing emotions in a socially acceptable way. We are more apt to express emotions in a very infantile way or avoid them altogether because we don't know how to deal with them, I think? I usually use the latter approach (due to SAD) but when I use the former approach I can appear quite childish.
