For those with undiagnosed Aspergers...

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If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck

Its a duck


I have a medium build, should I go to a doctor to tell me

'you have a medium build, that will be $1000 thanks'

Occam's Mallard?

I am also heterosexual, do not need a doc to confirm it.

This gets into another aspect of it. You can change the question and say "which would be harder to be told, that you have what is seen by some to be a "popular" diagnosis for "misunderstood geniuses" or a diagnosis of something like OCD, schizoid/schitzotypal PD, social anxiety, etc? Not that I mean to hold any one diagnosis over the other, or anything. I'm just saying that for many people these alternative diagnosis probably hold a much more negative connotation than one of AS. It's a matter of denial; not wanting to see the truth.

Not that I'm saying this about you, of course. And it's also possible to just be honestly wrong. There's always an element of chance to self diagnosis. But I'm just considering why people would want to believe they have AS against the odds and without taking into account the non-verbal learning issues, etc., etc.

For me...AS is just something that makes sense. I don't have an official DX but I've done enough research (books & online) to see myself in the symptoms. I have multiple sensory issues, I still have melt-downs even though I am middle-aged. I can only wear certain types of clothes, socks, or shoes, & I don't really like being in clothes that are all itchy or feel weird. It's not a new thing for me, I've been like this forever. It's only been in the past several years that I knew there was a name for what I've been experiencing. Would love to get an official DX but it's hard to say if that'll actually happen because I tend to be distrustful of people in general, especially shrinks.

Tomboy

I'm not going to bother reading the other replies, because they have to do with the individuals replying.

In my case, it's taken me two years to more than suspect but accept that I have Asperger's Syndrome.
First, my son was showing symptoms. Then I read a lot. A LOT. At least 50 websites and 20 books. Then I got him diagnosed. And found myself teaching the teachers about it. I joined a reputable Autism Center in my city. I learned more.

The signs in myself were hard to deny.

Why don't I go to a Dr. and seek a diagnosis?

1) I have 2 kids and am involved with CAS. If they thought I had a "severe developmental delay" they would take my kids away. I'm a good mother, but explaining that is difficult.
2) I've been to many Dr's over the years; and they've diagnosed me with all kinds of s**t. But none were able to see Aspergers. I feel I'm smarter than the Dr's. I don't feel like drawing pictures so they can understand what I'm trying to tell them.
3) I don't want to be 'assigned' more pills
4) I'm not ready to give up on the idea of me working. Though many Dr's/ social workers think I should throw in the towel. I still enjoy believing I can contribute to society.

So in short, for me, being diagnosed is like giving up.

Maybe others can see differently, if so, please, share with me what I'm missing.

I know some people are diagnosed with "NVLD + SPD + ADD + OCD + GAD".... Now it used to have another name that I knew...

I don't know how the system works in your area so I am curious. Why do you think that being diagnosed would prevent you from working or growing kids? Some diagnosed Aspies are actually doing that - and looking for a job, even if not easy, is encouraged, it's not that they say: "Hey you are autistic, now go and sit on your butt".
Are you referring to a psychological effect that a formal diagnosis might have?
Not saying you have to get it, if you think it would have no positive effect there is no point, but I just want to understand your reasoning better.

I am undianosed too, and how did I come to understanding, that I am an aspie...
I like "Bones" TV-show very much, and often I had a feeling, that her reactions is very similar to mine. But I didn't know yet, that she has asperger's syndrome traits. And in previous summer I found a book "Antropoogist on Mars", about Temple Grandin, and had very strong feeling - hey, it is really like me. So I started to search more information about Asperger's, and took some tests (materials on Wrongplanet helped me very much).
The most important thing for me was, that Asperger's syndrome was an explanation for most of my "problems" (recognising faces, sensory overload, some problems with learning social norms and some more). And I had an intuitive feeling, that Aspereger's syndrome is the best explanation I have now. Tests had here only secondary role. (Now I am actually on the edge of the spectrum, something between aspie and neurotypical - so tests show),

This knowledge also helps me to know my weak sides and prepare better for something... For example, I understood how to make my workplace more comfortable, and I find many good recomendations here on the forum.

I am not totally sure I have it, and I found the flaw in the option when I was making my account too. I'm going to a psychiatrist soon so the label will change anyway. Either to NT or AS-D.

When I first read about Asperger's,it seemed like I was experiencing a Revelation - the symptoms and experiences I was reading about
fitted exactly.Even so,I didn't want to simply assume that AS had all the answers.I spent about a year studying as much about not only AS but similar conditions until I came to the conclusion that my initial instincts were correct.
At my age an official diagnosis isn't really practical.Apart from the fact I've learned enough social skills to pass for NT in everyday situations,it's not like a doctor could contact my teachers and contempories from school,with a 30-40 year time gap now passed.

When I first started learning about AS, I realized that all of my favorite TV show characters show strong traits. Bones, Zach (Bones' original assistant), Sheldon (Big Bang Theory), Dr. Reid (Criminal Minds), Gil Grissom (CSI).

It has nothing to do with malicious lies, but more to do with honest mistakes. Some people who think they have simply do not and better fit into something else. These people often are not fully aware of the other conditions aside from misleading stereotypes of those conditions. Often people who think they have AS are correct. It is also true that some people think they have AS, but they have another condition. IMO, if it is affecting their lives, it would be good to know what this condition is so they could receive proper treatment.

I haven't seen my primary care physician in over ten years. He is as much of a stranger as any other stranger except I was supposed to be seeing him once a year for the last ten years and haven't. If I was to see him he may scold me about that.

As for "talk[ing] to someone", there are some main reasons:

• First, "talking to someone" actually involves a lot more steps than talking to someone. It involves knowing the questions to ask, whom to contact, and whom to ask. People's cruelty when I was younger caused me to develop significant social phobia. Not only that, but I am so significantly socially impaired that I didn't even realize that I didn't attempt to form relationships. In fact, for example, I would see people interacting on television and not think that people would actually ever form relationships like the ones the characters had. The combinations of not knowing whom to contact, knowing that I'd probably have to talk to more than one person, and having a fear of people makes it very difficult to do so.
  
• Second, although I'd like to have my suppositions professionally confirmed I don't know that having an actual diagnosis would provide me with much benefit, especially when compared with what I've heard of the cost. During my school years, many many people told me that I was crazy. After decades of being told that you're crazy and believing it, I found an explanation which sounded like an accurate description. And because of that, my level of functioning has increased significantly. I researched résumé-writing and job interview techniques and so was able to get a job, and although my co-workers think I'm unusual(and in fact, although I've never discussed it with any of them, some of them have directly said on multiple occasions that they believe that I'm autistic), I have been successful in it and believe that I will be able to get another job.

If I don't have an official diagnosis I won't claim that I do. But I seem to fit each of the various sets of criteria. And it's not that I fit slightly. In my understanding I fit very well. I have significant sensory issues. I failed to form appropriate relationships, and have failed in social reciprocation, both in being awkward and not understanding how to do it and in many cases not even attempting to reciprocate. I have a particular unusual special interest about which I have encyclopedic knowledge, beyond the knowledge of many people who have master's degrees in the subject(and I've been asked if I have a master's degree in the subject). I exhibit inflexible adherence to routines and feel horrible horrible if I don't follow them.

OMG, you just summarized my life. That is me, in a nutshell.

I could list off all of my symptoms, write a book-length discription of them, but I really don't feel like repeating myself again this week. I'm thinking I should just write up an official list so I can print copies for anyone who asks.

How about several years of problems (social problems, learning problems, sensory problems: hearing and sight especially), several months of research, and now several conversations with my parents who raised me, know all of my strange quirks, are surprised I figured it out and completely agree with me? (And oh yeah, I talk in sentences like that one when I'm explaining something I'm interested in...)



The same reason that my parents never took me to a doctor for it all of these years (like I said, they've known about all of the things strange about me my entire life): they didn't want me labeled as having any kind of "problem." My elementary school principal wanted me and my parents to meet with a school psychologist when I was in like first and second grade and my parents didn't want that. My parents wanted me to have a chance to be "normal" (thanks sooo much mom and dad!). And they were very very sure that when I got older I would grow out of some of my social awkwardness. Which didn't happen.

I actually had to meet with a guidance counselor later in 5th grade (my parents did agree to that) and some other kids who had "problems." I actually have this memory of it: There was like a door-thing in the room (I'm nearly positive it was light blue) and one person was on each side. One person knocked on the door and the other person had to open the door and you literally faked this conversation of what you'd say to the person on the other side. I hated that crap. Those meetings were during recess but I got really good at hiding so they couldn't find me. And I actually did make a "friend" in the group...she was in a higher grade and knew better hiding spots than I did. After a point they actually stopped bothering trying to make me go (my parents and the teachers).

I'm very very very sure I have it (Aspergers). And it makes it easier for me and my family knowing. My mom actually has admitted that she believed she was somehow responsible for so much of what happened over the years and that she worried that she did something wrong raising me that caused it. And to go with it all: I've pretty much had a dislike of all doctors my entire life. The only time I go to the doctor is when it's absolutely necessary for my health. I'll go eventually. I'm planning on it. And even my mom and my one good friend think it's a good idea. But it's not priority number one at the moment.



What it's like is surprising and kind of shocking. And then I just got used to the idea because I knew it fit. I probably would've freaked out if I'd heard it from a doctor first. I think I will freak out when I hear it from a doctor anyway.

Did you know about HFA before you were professionally diagnosed? If you did, didn't it just makes sense or seem like the right explaination?

Hope I helped somehow. But I probably didn't. As usual.

Last edited by Dessie on 27 May 2011, 9:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.