"You look really thrilled to be here"

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I have gotten those comments most of my life. I'm better at plastering on the smile now, but that requires a lot of effort and I burn out quickly.

I did have a coworker who didn't like me, who liked to say that in front of our boss, to make me look like I had a bad attitude; I finally said something. I said, "I'm sorry that you don't like my facial expressions, but I actually am happy to be here, and am having a good day." Our boss took notice, said something to my coworker, and he never made those comments to me again.

Of course, with strangers, what can you do? I have not found a solution to that. The whole "smile, it's not that bad" comment from strangers makes me so mad, because they don't have any idea what they're talking about and it's so judgemental! I'd love to hear what others do with those kinds of things.

Yes, I've been like this forever and have also been called sunshine or smiley sarcastically. The one that really annoys me is when super old guys come up and say "You're a pretty girl, you should be smiling". So gross and they were always saying that when I was younger (a lot from 15-21), ick.

right. i used to think it was a thing about men getting upset if women aren't pleasant for them to look at. i didn't realize maybe my expression was off.

i'm getting this now - it probably is an attempt to see a person who seems a bit down (even if that is a misinterpretation) and cheer them up, it just backfires .. we don't get these little engagements that NTs do with each other .. they are bonding or something, and we take the question or comment literally and think it's some kind of judgment. maybe someone telling someone to smile actually means "i wish you were happy" and when someone else hears it they feel good because someone cares.

another one of those things that boils down to speaking 2 different languages.

however it's really exhausting to barely have to leave your house and deal with the misunderstandings. i'm going to make an aspie phrase book and make my mission in life to give it to NTs. (kidding.)

anyway, BLUEMAGE up there, calm down. it's not about failing to take responsibility for how we're interpreted - that's almost impossible for a lot of us to figure out. and if you read the thread you'll notice when we get these comments a lot of us feel just fine.

understanding goes two ways. cripes.

From your lips to the gods' ears...

Oh, I hate it when that happens. People always think I'm pissed off or upset if I'm not actively smiling. I'm never quite sure what expression to make around people as they always seem to misread what I'm feeling.