Overexplaining

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I wonder about the concept of over-explaining. It reminds me of when I was a child, and other kids in my class would accuse me of using "big words." When I pointed out that they were only big to them, they got angry and tormented me. I couldn't see why I had to think of words as big vs small. They were all just lovely words, and I loved to use them.

As for over-explaining, a sobering example was when my boyfriend tried to explain physical symptoms to a doctor, who clearly got bored with the detailed explanations that my boyfriend was giving him in response to his question about symptoms. As a result of this not listening, he ordered the wrong x-rays, because my boyfriends explanation of gastrointestinal symptoms somehow got transformed to complaints of chest pain. So my boyfriend had to go through two separate sets of X-rays because this doctor, no doubt, thought that my boyfriend was over-explaining.

It is very interesting to see people's different perspectives on this behavior. I think a lot of my own overexplaining has to do with how I take things literally and cannot guess at some implied meanings and assumed connections. So I often feel like people underexplain things to me, and so I overexplain to make sure they understand. Also, though I tend to remember what I have said, I generally don't remember who I've said it to, and so I am never quite sure which particular people have an understanding of the elements that go into forming my explanation, so I explain those elements just in case.

Yes I do this and I also agree that it is a common AS trait.

I am also an overexplainer.

The thing is, I don't do this in conversation, because the conversation is always a struggle for me so I'm usually struggling to just get a few words out.

But I am often unsatisfied with the conversation, and feel like I didn't explain what I wanted to say properly, and so then I follow up in written form (usually email) after the fact ... with the full explanation.

Even edited, it seems to be too lengthy, but I feel I need to send it... to explain things properly.

Needless to say this doesn't always go down well. Other people don't seem to want or require this much detail - but I don't get why not. Surely to properly understand the answer to their question, they need the full answer.

I am aware of this problem now, and try to do it less ... but I find it very difficult not to do. I don't like being misunderstood (which happens a lot, unfortunately) and I think that is the reason for my overexplanation.

I am told very often that I either am over-explaining things or that I over-analyze things very often. While I like to think that is just because I try to be analytical, I hear it from people a lot.