Asperger's and lack of empathy and ethics?

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I feel and show empathy, but I do hate feeling some empathy. Like when something embarrassing happens to someone, I can feel their embarrassment as though I'm the one in the embarrassing situation even though I have nothing to do with it.

An elderly relative of mine has recently passed away, and my eyes have filled up with tears a few times, but I haven't actually cried. I thought I would, because I normally do. But he had an illness that came gradually over the past few years, then all of a sudden it got worse in the past couple of months, and we all knew his time was running out, and he passed away a few days before I thought he would have. And ever since, I've been in kind of a ''I can't believe he has gone'' daze, and if I think of it too deeply I do feel upset and have tears in my eyes. My mum said that is normal (she is NT and gets emotional), and she said that not everyone cries when they are in a disbelieving daze. But I know I will cry at the funeral, because when other people cry, that always starts me off.

I have a lot of empathy towards people.

I don't feel that I lack empathy, so much as I lack the appropriate means to express it. Also it's important to note the difference between empathy and sympathy, as I am very sympathetic, and care about other people's feelings