What are your NT traits?

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I'm going to bed , but I think we do pretty well most of the time considering what we missed out on , or not. Let's not forget the positive. Now, how do you turn a PC off exactly hmmmm, lets try this little button her

I'm also wondering if certain so-called NT traits are more patterns of application than specific behaviors.

What I mean is that, compared to me, most NTs seem to apply ToM in nearly every situation, from mundane areas like doing household chores to important areas like scientific research. In household chores, there is the issue of who does what when and how that impinges upon the interpersonal relationships and group dynamics within the household. In scientific research, the same phenomenon exists. Topics cannot simply be discussed on their own, but all discussions must impinge upon the people involved - who holds what theory and what theory offends who and what theory make who looks this way or that way.

With Aspies, or perhaps only some Aspies, the topics take precedence over the people, such that stating something in conflict with someone else's theory does not reflect any thought or feeling or intention or belief about that someone or oneself. It only reflects an idea about the topic. In fact, ToM is the farthest thing from my mind whenever I state anything. The point of stating things is to throw all kinds of ideas out there in order to build models from them.

Would other people say that not instinctively performing the action of applying ToM is an AS trait, and that doing so is an NT trait? I think it is, because it is what unadapted children do. This doesn't even have anything to do with how well one understands ToM.

This kind of communication is what I call "Side-By-Side" and is best performed without looking at each other and exchanging non-verbal cues, such as while walking down the street together. The other kind of communication, which is dominant in society, is "Face-To-Face" and has a lot more to do with the people communicating than the topic being communicated about.

I think the difference is that you can have all the NT traits, but some NT traits caused you developmental distress that causes red flags, but if you did not have developmental distress then you might not need a diagnosis

I'm interested in gossip.

OMG....seeing these necro-posts is triggering my nostalgia, I miss the old days of btbnnyr and Verdandi running most of the posts

I don't have NT traits.


Instead, I have allistic and un-autistic/un-aspergian traits.

Let's just say I'm very capable of networking, not easily worried.
And I don't fit the bookish/nerdy type -- but I'm very capable of that.
I'm not always awkward, I'm not consistent, I don't rely on order and routines, I can ride and live with the chaos instead of avoiding it.

And many among others I can't name right now.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

- I have no issues with eye contact these days. Most of the time.

- I can lie and deceive to an extent. The only part that sometimes gives me away is the facial expressions and nervous body language, but if it's important and I'm focusing then I can put on a convincing act. Sometimes this is necessary. I once had to pretend to befriend someone because my friend was at risk, so I had to gain their trust to ensure the safety of my friend. Thankfully it worked out. Plus, this ability helps with acting. I enjoy doing improv comedy, which often involves playing a character and playing upon the hypothetical situations. When I dislike someone, I can hide it if necessary.

- No issues with relating to fictional characters and putting myself in the shoes of others.

- An ability to work in a team and to effectively lead one.

- I can network and appear professional when I want to.

- Making friends isn't an issue. However, my obliviousness does sabotage me sometimes. I struggle at times to read tone of voice, which can annoy others when I'm not sure if a compliment is sarcastic or if I show up to an event that people were joking about but I thought they were being serious. Although, I am far more likely to pick up on sarcasm if the speaker I'm talking to regularly uses it. I know to be more on guard.

- Speaking of which, I use sarcasm. This can take people by surprise, since they don't expect me to be sarcastic because I'm not always great at picking up on it. Despite this, many of my favourite characters and content creators are rather sarcastic. I tend to pick up on sarcasm by deduction, if I know a statement is false. So when I don't know what someone's stance is on a topic then it becomes a lot harder for me to tell.

Also I tend to attract quite a few people who also struggle with sarcasm, but we'll try to be sarcastic to one another and confuse each other in the process.

There you go, you get some additional free ND traits in this reply.

I've gotten better at things like communication and eye contact, to the point of passing for NT. I've also had a lifelong reputation for being notably "caring" vs. the myth that autistics are less empathetic.

Saying these are "NT traits" sounds a bit skewed, so I will call these "traits that are unusual for an Aspie":-

I enjoy social gossip (as I've already mentioned)

I am not incapable of lying, also I don't have a moral objection against white lies like some Aspies do. I am able to be honest enough to be trusted by others, but tactful enough to not hurt people's feelings, and I find all this easy like it's natural

I automatically make eye contact without consciously trying to

I can generally hold a conversation and I also enjoy chatting

I am easy to talk to (I don't usually interrupt mid-sentence or change the subject abruptly)

I am a good listener and can put myself in other people's shoes (which is ironically something some NTs are unable to do)

I am a good team player in my workplace and I have no trouble communicating with my co-workers

I find COVID social restrictions hard to get used to

I don't have a problem with being touched (appropriately, of course)

I am good at picking up on sarcasm, humour and idioms

I see most things through emotions rather than logic, and I can often be illogical about things. I do hate pragmatic advice as I often find it too harsh and unhelpful

I enjoy watching movies that involve a lot of social interaction, emotions and other forms of drama and/or humour. I am not a fan of Star Wars or Doctor Who or any other "geeky" types of shows. I prefer TV soaps and other dramas

I seem to be very good in a relationship because of my loving and caring nature and I am literally the opposite of all that nasty stigma of autistics all being bad spouses because they are cold-hearted and lack empathy

Communication is not an issue for me, whether it be in the workplace, in my relationship or with my family and friends

I literally center my life around other people's feelings, so in other words I am hyperaware of the feelings of others


And the name of my label is supposed to be Latin for "self"...?

You have quite amazing abilities, compared to me. I'm "classical" ASD, with all the limitations that come with it.

My only unusual trait is that I'm rubbish with numbers.

I think in metaphors.

My specialist interests are the same ones as a lot of NTs so I pass for 'normal'

I get on well socialising with the right people and the right people tend to just be people within my own social class/educational level rather than having to be really specific

I'm sensitive to tone of voice and facial expression and body language when it comes from someone else. My stepdad snaps at people by default. I hate that.

I'm aware that other people have needs different to my own. However, I'm not sure that counts as an 'NT' pov since most NTs I know can't believe someone would survive fine without having loads of irl friends, for eg. Their TOM seems to be more based on being the majority so better able to guess based on their own experiences.

Question:. What are my NT traits?

I just don't know. I can't work it out.

When I joined this site I thought I was on the boarderline but closer to being an NT (I did not know the term NT before and when I first joined) and all I wanted to know is to make sense of the link between what I was describing as "Energy loss" (It was not energy loss but I just did not know how to describe it as I did not know how to put inner feelings into thoughts which is why doctors never found out what I was trying to describe) and meltdowns, as I had discovered that there were similarities between what I experienced and meltdowns but they were quite different. I had never heard of shutdowns and it was through this site I found out what it is and why I saw similarities with meltdowns (They can be triggered by the same or similar causes).

While I had previously assumed I was "Normal" as I was always making an effort to try and pass as "Normal" I was never able to be what I called "Normal". Somehow, I failed but I could not understand why. I reasoned with myself that it must be because of my different upbringing, as I grew up on a smallholding, but this did not quite fit in to my theory because one person in my class was a farmers son and yet he was popular. He seemed to fit right in despite his farming background.

In the last few years of primary school I used to sit next to someone who would say in his humour that I was not normal! He knew I was different. We got on ok, but it was strange because none of us could work it out or define the reason why, as I know he used to say it out of humour, but when I asked him why he did not know why exactly but he just knew that I was not normal. (I did not mind not being normal as I was amused by him saying that but I wanted to know why).
Not many school kids really got to know me in that way because I was quiet. It took a while before I would open up. I would do anything not to draw attention to myself and I was petrified when a teacher told me off for stimming,though I never knew it was stimming. I was soo self concious! And as the stimming was an automatic rather then a manual reaction to stop being told off for stimming took a huge amount of mental effort where for weeks I would sit there in class watching and feeling my every body movement and I would get caught out now and then for not paying attention to what was being taught, but I couldn't! All my mental focus was on my body and what it was doing!

Now on joining this site, I wanted to ask a question and then go when I found the answer. I was embarissed because it had been instilled in me by my grandmother on my Dads side to always try to act and behave "Normal"(Not just her but I guess that side of the family because my aunt and uncle (Dads brother. He was a gentle giant of a man with a gentle nature) who I would say were NT's or what I described as "Townspeople" or "Townies" for short).
My grandmother had a thing about never admitting to a doctor anything about mental health because they could take you away to be locked up (Which they used to do as well in those days!) My grandmother on the other side who I now am sure she was on the spectrum had years of being numbed up on tablets because she mentioned that she was nurvous to the doctor. Those were the days when doctors had a pill for everything! My poor Mum and her sister (3 years older) spent years walking themselves to school and back from an early age and their Mum was not really there for them right up to teenage years because of those tablets. She had become addicted to them and fair play, she herself eventually weened herself off them only for the tablet manufacturers to change their name and doctors suggested this new "Miracle" tablet cure only for her to end up back on them again where it took years again to come off.... And right towards the end of her life the same thing happened again! Tablets changed their name claiming to be a miracle cure and fortunately this time she was only on them for a year or two before she broke the addiction. She just was not with it at all while on them.
So on both sides of the family it was instilled into me that I should act and be what they called "Normal" and NEVER EVER mention anything about anything to a doctor about ones mental health.

So you see, I have had a lifetime of masking any trait I had and being petrified of being singled out as being different, and yet I am different as I just could never fit in anywhere. The term square peg in a round hole where all the holes are round and everyone else is round and fits, and I am trying to hammer myself in to fit into a round peg society describes me. It is not that there is anything wrong with the square peg but it is being damaged by trying to fit into a round hole and the round hole does not like it either!

But going back to if I have NT traits? Well. I have found I have trait after trait of autism that I never knew were autistic traits, and I really do not know what I am or what an NT trait is and to try to think about it now even if someone starts to describe NT traits will make my head explode! HAHA! Ok, it feels like that.
"Too much information for me to compute! Stop!! !"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I am funny! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!