I am a girl diagnosed with mild Asperger's???

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Darn... my doctor must've thought I was ugly. He was tossing up between "Aspergers" and "full-blown autism" and decided on Asperger's because I wasn't completely butt-ugly- uh... actually because I've "achieved so much".

hi i am now 33 years old. i found out 6 months ago. i have spent a life being different feeling younger and more innocent at heart from people of my age and being a pro since my very early years. i had a perfect writting way from child all my teachers were very pleased while i could not express vocaly exactly what i thought. eg i had several innovative ideas that i could only write down or draw or at high school i would write down homework for many of my classmates on the same subject and we would all take an a grade without the teachers ever suspecting that it was all out of ones mind without even using the same words. i learnt english just by listening to songs and having a dictionary. i never knew what to say and when to say it so as to make new friends. i always hated chitchat. in my later life i could easily take microphone and speak to a crowd and say very proper things without second thought but i could not answer properly a personal question from a couple of friends. i always get bored in conversations because i get the whole picture at once and then i have problems keeping my attention to them. i own a job of my own because i could not stand team work unless given a specific sector and left alone to finish it. then it usually was that good that fellow coworkers thought i was doing it on purpose. same applies to other jobs too when i would work non stop with perfect results giving my coworkers the thought i was trying to put them off scene. bosses loved me. coworkers gossiped me. i used to stand at the streets as a little girl and read the sale and rent signs finding unknown pleasure in it so i ended up a real estate agent. i have learnt to copy behaviors so as to deal with customers but still i cant always doit properly. saying the truth as i see it whether it is for a person or a bad house is a challenge for me. i have learnt to take a breath and think what is NOT good to say before i spesk but stll i hardly manage it. Though many customers love me -thank God- for this because thay get satisfied when i tell them the truth about a house ! !! i like hanging upside down and jump when i am satisfied. thank God for my pretty face people just consider it sweet unless they know me better and watched me jumping all the time. i get a perfect contact with animals. i really want to be loved by people and hang out with them but when someone finally asks me out i usually say no... i am still surprised by the bad and/or complcated intentions of nt people. they spend their lives making complicated plans even for what to say to each other... i had 2 longterm relationships. both wanted to marry me but i walked away. i am still friend with the last one. i love kids and i have raised my little sister almost on my own with endless love and care but when it comes for me ..oh i dont know.. i am not sure i will have the proper kind of love to give them.. i sometimes get out and over bad situations and watch them happening. i was even called once to recognise the body of a friend died in the street from heartattack and as i was looking at the corp i felt nothing.. as if i was watching a movie.. nothing. well i think i said to much i appollogise for this and also Sorry for the awful typing it is from selfphone with very smal keyboard. feel free to message me i will be glad to hear from you

I don't really understand the "mild" thing when it comes to people's diagnoses; I can't see that label as being anything other than unhelpful, an extra layer of "otherness" to fit in with the "otherness" that already comes with having AS. Is it common practice for such labels to be used by diagnosticians? I have the full report from my diagnosis and it contains no descriptions of the mild/moderate/severe type.

My specific problem with these labels is the assumption that a person will continue to function as they were when the diagnosis was made. I only got diagnosed at age 29; had I been diagnosed at age 21 I would have presented as much more functional and less aspie-ish because at that point in my life I was coping quite a bit better. Had I been diagnosed at that point and received this "mild" label then, from that point onward, every person who ever needed to read the resulting report would have seen "mild". The way people think this is the thing that is likely to be immediately seized on, eliciting the reaction "oh, (s)he only has 'mild' AS". That "mild" label will potentially follow someone around for the rest of their life and possibly be very, very harmful to the individual - "I only have mild AS, I should be able to cope with this, I'm so stupid/useless!".

My psychiatrist's report essentially discussed my difficulties at length and concluded that I have AS and meet both the ICD-10 and Gilberg's criteria. As I said earlier, there is not a single mention of mild/moderate/severe. I really think that is the way that these things should be presented. Probably the one place I can think of where these descriptors would be useful is when referring to specific areas of difficulty e.g. "person x has severe difficulty with social reciprocity" "person y has mildly restricted interests".

i still dont know much about asperger but i yhink mild means eg an aspie person that will not lock himself up having blades in his drawer or will properly get it through a social event withought breakdown for days (ok maybe only 1..) . also depends on the enviroment you live in. having the word mild or even high functional helps to deal better with the idea because my enviroment and unfortunatly my countrys system does accept asperger or any other syndrom as ret*d or pity people. i will never tell anyone -i only told a friend that works in a hospital and he started jokes on me...- because the enviriment is not ready to accept me. its ok for them to be eccentric but not ok to name it with a syndrom. they find cute and girlish that i jump and clap my hands but they will dissapear at once if i tell them it is a syndroms thing. yet the "mildness" is something softer for others to hear and deal with. sorry for talking so much goodnight to all from sunny greece :*

Okay I am quite a bit older than you but was only diagnosed a year ago. I wondered about a lot of this stuff too. I suggest a little reading.

- Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey

- Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

Both of these books were really helpful places to start.

Hello! My daughter and I are new to this forum, and I am so glad I found this site out! My daughter was tested "gifted" at school but we were told if she had Aspergers, it wasn't the dominant issue. I had her tested because I thought she had a learning disability! She does not like noises, or breaks from routine, and she was the kid that told the teacher when other kids were not following the rules. She can't get a good nights rest because her mind races. She paces in circles and comforts herself by touching/tugging her eyelashes. It is rough because in order for us to get a diagnosis, we have to take her to a specialist who we cannot afford. I really want her to meet other girls with the same issues so she doesn't feel alone. I am assuming that if she has Aspergers that it is a mild form but from what I read, girls are good at masking it. She is such a smart kid and I love her for how unique she is! Any advice from fellow aspie girls? Thanks!

FYI this account will be used by her as well

Welcome to WrongPlanet, bazasho and company!

I concur with the book referrals of Nymeria8, especially Aspergirls. This book really touches on the specifics of being a female Aspie, especially how some females adapt by becoming "social chameleons" or exhibiting extreme passivity.

This forum has a very nice Kids' and Adolescents' subforum with many member of your daughter's age. The Parents' forum is also very resourceful (I'm not even a parent, and I find it to be one of my favorite subforums!)

I am a "pacer" and a "dasher" myself; it drives my parents insane! I have a scooter in my backyard that I will ride if I feel myself getting particularly antsy, though my "dashing" isn't exactly premeditated. I often do not realize that I am doing it; I assume that it arises out of a need to realize built-up energy.

Warm tea can help to lull a person to sleep, especially Chamomile and lemongrass tea. I have also read that using the bed exclusively for sleeping (meaning that one should refrain from reading, using the phone or computer, watching T.V., playing, ect. on the bed) can help the mind to associate the bed with sleeping.

Feel free to PM (private message) me if need be.

I will have to look over the report the good doctor gave me to make sure.

But I dont recall him classifying me into any subdivision within aspergers.

You either have it or not, and they decided (from the exhaustive test) that I have it.

Aspergers is itsself a kind of 'high functioning' autism.

So - you can be 'high functioning high functioning"?

Never heard of that.

Hello!

I'm technically a girl with mild AS, but I'm trans masculine. My whole life experience was as a female, though, so I'm sure I can relate or be helpful if you have questions.

To those who are asking about 'mild' AS, no, it is not a formal diagnosis, at least not to my knowledge, but is a way for people to describe their ability to function and pass as normal. My psychiatrist used the word mild in our discussions and in my diagnostic documents, because no one would ever know that I had Asperger's from general interactions with me, or even fairly regular interactions. My boyfriend of five years and I had been together a full year before he noticed anything was truly 'off' about some of my behavior. However, my diagnosis is simply 'Asperger's.'

I did a few polls a while back, and I has people respond as to whether they had mild, moderate or severe Asperger's, which I classified based on ability to live on one's own without assistance.

I have every single clinical symptom of Asperger's, as well of all of the informal ones that you will see on lists of signs of AS. You just have to look a little deeper in my case to recognize them. The biggest thing that screams 'mild' about my case is that I appear to socialize quite normally...I'm in fact very sensitive to facial expressions, I smile and laugh when one would be expected to, and I have no flat affect to my voice...I inflect in a typical manner.

If you spend enough time with me, though, you'll begin to question why my eyes drift toward your hairline when I'm talking to you, you'll discover that it's quite fun to say things jokingly or with sarcasm, because I'll not get the joke and believe what you're saying is true (I understand sarcasm when one using a 'sarcastic tone,' but otherwise don't detect when one is being facetious), I'll forget to introduce my boyfriend to new people, and have to remind myself to reciprocate niceties. You'll realize that, once you get me talking about a special interest, that I'll ramble on until someone finds an excuse to turn their attention to something else.

And, yes, I stim. I have sensory issues. I have a special interest. I get set in a schedule and become very distressed if that schedule changes. I wear the same clothes over and over because planning what to wear can be stressful or overwhelming.

The thing is, you wouldn't know any of this by looking at me, or by talking to me, at least, not at first. You'd think, as many do, that I'm just shy and quiet, a bit quirky and slightly OCD. You'd never think, oh, something is OFF with this person. That's why my Asperger's is mild...because all the signs and symptoms are there, they just aren't readily apparent.

Looking back at this statement now amuses me.

Why?

Social Communication Disorder?

"I wonder if there's a specific social skills learning disability that's related to autism, but not quite on the spectrum..."

¿Why do you think is necessary to point out you are girl?, I dont understand that, "Im a girl and im/ihave X".

Example, "Im a girl and im a gamer", "Im a girl and i like sex", "Im a girl and i enjoy soccer"

¿Why?, im not trying to be rude, i just want to know why, it seem irrelevant to me.

Because it is relevant information, even if you do not see it as relevant.

Is it just better for women to remain invisible and everyone just be assumed to be men, at least online?

Im sorry but I see that as a way to call attention, and im not trying to be rude, im mostly navigating in anonymous sites, where we dont need to know if you are a girl or a guy, but most of the times, girls come and say, "Im a girl X", as if saying that they are girls is going to make his argument more powerful,that is not necessary.

"Is it just better for women to remain invisible and everyone just be assumed to be men, at least online?"

No, is not better for women to remain invisible, but im not going to make a thread, and say, im guy diagnosed with asperger, i just said im diagnosed with asperger, the difference there, is i just want to point out something that could drive attention to me, and ¿why is someone going to assume they are men?, ¿what you are saying, is that if a girl doesnt say that she is a girl then all the people is going to believe she is a men?, That sound sexist to me.

Is not relevant to know wether you are a girl or a guy diagnosed with autism, is only the diagnosis that is relevant, or ¿does the diagnosis change for girls?

I wouldnt mind to read about her being a girl in the firts reply, but in the title of the publication, it seems to me a way to call attention, and im sorry if im being rude, that is just my opinion.

That is why i showed examples.
I see everywhere that thing.

"Im a girl and i like sex, yes i do exist"
"Im a girl and i like gaming, yes i do exist"
"Im a girl and im autistic, yes i do exist"

Is like you want more attention for the solely purpose of being a girl, and everytime i see this i just think to myself, and they always say the guys are the sexist but they dont look their behavior.

That's just you assigning intentions to other people. The OP explained why she identified herself as a girl diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, and it is a valid reason. Not "a way to call attention."

The thing about most "anonymous" websites is that if gender is not specified, people tend to assume that everyone is male until proven otherwise. Which means:



This argument carries little weight and you fail to acknowledge that:

* "Male online until proven otherwise" assumption I described above
* That it is harder for women and girls to get an autism spectrum diagnosis than it is for men and boys



Your opinion is wrong.

Gender is a relevant factor in diagnosis. Gender is relevant everywhere, to be honest. The fact that you react against identification of another's gender



Well, you are being sexist here. Common assumptions among many male gamers is that girls who game are rare or nonexistent. Similar assumptions are often made about autism, although the gender balance on this forum makes this less likely.

Anyway, treating women as if saying "I am a girl" or "I am a woman" is a bid for attention is sexist. Your examples refer to women who do not want to be invisible as women, and accuse them of looking for attention when the reality is more likely that they simply want acknowledgment that women like them exist.

So, really, the answer is simple: Stop trying to dissect women's motives into something you can scorn and then try to twist it that into women identifying themselves as women is somehow "sexist" while saying that they should not speak up as women, which is itself typical sexism against women.