Aspergers/High Functioning Autism and Paranoia, A LOT of it

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Quite often I distrust people. Not always, sometimes I can be pretty good socially but usually I think people are judging me. On occasion I've thought I'm being spied on and that a police helicopter was for me even though i did nothing. I think people want to harm me sometimes because I know that could be done. I know people can use what they know of me against me. I don't always feel that way though. I'm getting a kind of therapy soon for it. Its probably the main reason I can't keep friends because I know aspies who have friends even with the condition and being quirky. People like me don't have friends though

I'm somewhat paranoid. I believe that I am surrounded by enemies and those who wish to do me harm. I won't even open my blinds in the day time because I feel the neighbors are possibly spying on me. There are many stories of those who've been brutally murdered by their neighbors who've studied them in great detail. On the note of the majority being my enemy, well lets just call it like it is. The world isn't nice, if you have a functioning brain then you already know that.

THIS. I'm not diagnosed but I have always had my suspicions and I tend to assume people are being sarcastic or don't really like me in order to protect myself from embarrassment or rejection. I always thought that because now at my age I don't usually misunderstand teasing, that I didn't really have AS but now I see how hard I actually had to struggle to train myself to get used to it.

I am very suspicious and curious in many corners of my mind, occasionally it unfolds into strands of paranoia but that is mostly where the supernatural is concerned or whenever I investigate the murky conduct of governments... more often than not my paranoia is a healthy tonic in these areas!

I am not sure whether I am aspergic or have NLD. I am diagnosed with neither but fit NLD better. I do have a diagnosis of paranoid PD which I dispute based on the criteria, but paranoia is definitely an issue for me.
My stems, along with the severe social anxiety, from being bullied and ostracised for physical and social awkwardness as a teenager. Before that I was subjected to teasing that stopped short of overt bullying, ie comments like I was the 'missing link' were directed at me.

I have been told a couple times online I am paranoid but never in real life. When I was a kid, I felt everyone was plotting against me, not to a schizophrenic sense, and I believed I was being picked on because I'm Beth and all the Beths in the world got picked on. In middle school I thought kids were bumping me in the halls on purpose or otherwise they would have apologized but because they didn't I assumed it was intentional. Also I thought they were trying to bully me if they even teased me like putting their hand in front of my face or blocking me in the halls. I misinterpreted them. I would say I was paranoid. But not paranoid to a sense I would have been diagnosed with a paranoid disorder or with schizophrenia. It was just all anxiety/PTSD/ASD related.

I am not so paranoid much anymore and I just ignore everything pretty much because I don't care. People leave me alone so it doesn't matter. But at work I have wondered if a new co worker at work was harassing me but that seemed to have stopped after I talked to my boss about it. I only told the boss what he was doing, I didn't say how I felt about it or what I think his intentions were. Now it's "leave her alone" by another co worker when he was trying to tell me how to do my job again.

I have it. It makes me feel ashamed. I try to understand motives of people logicaly and that is why i'm often wrong.
People easily find connection between each other - spontaneously - but to me emotional motives of people are riddle. I'm glad that i'm not alone.
I myself feel so stupid from time to time and confused and miserable.