Adult Aspies are socially 11 years old?

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Well, not to sound narcissistic, but intellectually I accredit myself to be quite advanced.

I feel emotionally quite stable and mature.

My "Social IQ" has got to be around the 17-19 range, then again, maybe its not. I always have a hard time becoming friends with people.

I have no idea what my social age is. I've never thought of it before. I guess that I was too busy enjoying life.

You might find this website interesting. It has a lot of explanations of psychosocial development, and gives an idea of "normal" social development through different age groups. Not exactly a checklist, though!
http://www.sasked.gov.sk.ca/docs/social ... it_six.htm


Here's another description of school age, adolescence and early adulthood. It's interesting to compare it to ASD development, in terms of everything from cognition to self-concept. In many ways, people with ASD may be more mature than others their age, as they are aware of their own strengths, limitations, unique personality etc.
http://www.angelfire.com/ky/IBMS/person ... ge%20stage:
(adapting and copying for discussion purposes)
School age
The school age stage occurs from six years to twelve years of age. Children move out of their homes into worlds where they have to find their places, therefore their self concepts, value systems and cognitive capacities change. In addition, children enter the world of peer groups and their behavior is increasingly influenced by their peers (5). The child's competence in communication increases as physical, cognitive, and social development increase (1). Attending school implies new expectations from a child. They now represent their families who want to be proud of their child (4). At this stage, the child starts comparing him/her self with class mates or playmates (2). Such circumstances stimulate the child to be as better as possible so that pride of one self if achieved (3). This is the time when transition from ascribed to achieved status starts to take place. In school it does not matter how a child is in his/her family (loved, neglected, older or younger sibling) except when those factors have affected the child's personality in a way or another (5). In school, a child is treated as a part of a collectivity rather than as individual at home and this requires the child to forget many desires that may not enable him to fit into the group (7). All the previous demands organize the child's personality so that the child is able to prepare himself to live within a larger society rather than in a family (9). During this stage of development, a sense of belonging which makes the child feel accepted and as an integral part of the group and of the broader society occurs. This sensation involves identification of the society the child is a part of, beside commitment to its values and ethics. In addition, a sense of responsibility involving a capacity and willingness to live up to the expectations one has aroused evolves at this stage of development in the child's personality (4). The school child's evaluation of himself starts when adults, school mates and playmates evaluate him/her. A self concept that enables the child to regulate his ambitions and ways of relating to others is then established. A new set of values is acquired by the child and he/she starts to view his/her society from different perspectives (6). At this stage, children have rigid standards of what is right and what is wrong. Industry Vs inferiority represent this stage in the psychosocial theory of development (4). The developmental tasks of the school age child are: developing the social and physical skills needed for playing games, learning to get along with others, learning behavioral attitudes appropriate to one's own sex, learning basic reading, writing, and arithmetic skills, developing a conscience and morals, and developing a good feeling and attitude about oneself. During the later part of the school age child's development, often called preadolescence, the child begins to show more refinement and maturity in the following areas: becoming an independent adult and learning to depend on oneself, developing and keeping friendships with peers, understanding the physical, psychological, and social roles of one's sex, developing greater muscular strength, coordination, and balance, learning how to study (10).

Adolescence stage:

The adolescence stage of growth and development, which represent the industry Vs role confusion stage of the psychosocial theory of development, occurs from 12 to 20 years of age (4). The developmental tasks faced by the child at this age are accepting changes in the body and appearance, developing appropriate relationships with males and females of the same age, accepting the male and female role appropriate for one's age, becoming independent from parents and adults ,developing morals, attitudes, and values needed for functioning in society (10). During adolescence, although emancipation from parents in order to achieve independence and learning to accept responsibility for one’s self takes place, an adolescent still fluctuates between child-like dependency and stubborn independence. Peer groups play a critical role in the process of socialization and social interaction and self concept is gradually acquired as a result of reactions of his peers towards him (1). As mentioned previously, an adolescent undergoes active mental maturity since an adolescent becomes capable of more than abstract mode of thinking and the capacity of receiving new information reaches its peak. This sort of development results in endless speculations about abstract issues. In spite of that, the adolescent still feels uncertain i.e. lacks the ability to direct him/her self and the confidence to translate his/her thoughts and ideas into a definite course of action. Persistent arguing and pretended wisdom are characteristic features of adolescents (7). Moreover, an adolescent rethinks about matters of life he learnt to be true from his/her parents early in life (3). What the adolescent needs by the end of this stage is to find out what sort of person he or she is and what his/her abilities and limitations are, therefore the period of adolescence can be called the period of readjustment (8).


Young adulthood stage:

The stage of young adulthood occurs from 20 to 40 years of age. Psychological and social developments continue during this stage. A personal life-cycle develops during this period. Generally, it is during this period that a person establishes a relationship with a significant other, a commitment to something, and competence (5). Marital and vocational choices represent the determinants of one’s overall personality development in general and future personality development in particular, since they are two of the most significant decisions of a lifetime whose responsibility is born by the young adult (4). Commitment of oneself to a specific way in life takes place through marriage and child raising. A person has attained adult status with the completion of physical maturation, and, he/she has become sufficiently well integrated and emotionally mature to utilize the opportunities and accept the responsibilities that accompany it (6). His/her independence from their parental families motivates them to achieve an interdependence and find their places in society. Through vocation and marriage he/she becomes united to networks of persons, find tasks that demand involvement, and gain roles into which he/she fit which help define their identities (3). Most individuals will give up their much sought independence to share with another in marriage. Then the life cycle rounds to the point at which young adults are again confronted by the start of life, but now as members of the parental generation, and they often undergo profound personality reorientations as they become involved in the unfolding of a child’s life (10). This stage of life ends when a person has achieved stable positions in society and the time when his/her children no more need his/her attention. Intimacy Vs isolation is the representative of this stage in the Psychosocial theory (4). Developmental tasks of young adulthood include: choosing education and occupation, selecting a marriage partner, learning to live with a spouse and developing a satisfactory sex life (10).

J.

I'm definitely more mature than an 11 year old in some ways. In other ways I'm more childlike. I definitely have more intelligence, wisdom, and empathy than an 11 year old. My emotional intensity is closer to a child than an adult. I need more fun in my life. I feel like I was happier as a child. I don't fit into the adult world. I don't understand the joy of going to a "party" so you can stand around making small talk. I understand kids better because they prefer activity, actually doing things together, as opposed to standing around talking.

I must admit, it is easier being a child than an adult - and most people I know say that. I didn't fear rejection when I was a child, and you don't need to follow so many rules, and it doesn't matter if you say stupid things because all children say stupid things (I used to like watching the programme ''Children Say The Funniest Things''). And you're allowed to be shy and untalkative too. Say if you went to a party, you have an excuse to have your mum by your side, and you don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to, and nobody thinks you're unfriendly or untalkative. But me, I have to make conversation, and if I don't say anything people keep asking why I'm not talking, which gets me mad.

But now I would prefer to stand around chatting at a party than to run around and play. I don't like running around playing any more (I have matured in that way). But if only I wasn't so ''scared'' of speaking up in social situations with people I don't really know.....*sigh*

Thanks for the interesting and informative post, postcards57.

The Sally Ann test sounds interesting. As an adult I would answer it in a number of ways. (For those who didn't Google it, Sally puts a marble in her basket. She then leaves the room. Anne then takes the marble and puts it in her box. Sally returns.)

Q. 'Where will Sally look for her marble?'

A(1). Nowhere. She is a doll.

A(2). In the correct place, because the person who controls her knows the answer.

A(3). In Anne's box. She would not "look for" her marble in her own basket because we only "look for" things when they are lost. In this closed system there are only two possible locations, and it is not possible to "look for" it in the basket. Ergo, if the question implies looking, it must be in the box.

A(4). Nowhere. She put the marble away, so does not want to play with it.

A(5). In the British Museum (Greek historical joke)

A(6). Anywhere at random. She went out for no reason and came back for no reason. She is clearly not rational.

A(7). In Sally's box. These dolls are owned by the psychologist. They have been used for this task many times. Sally must have learned by now that Anne always steals her marble.

A(8). Anywhere at random, because Sally has "lost her marbles."

The assumption is that NTs can see the other person's point of view. I doubt this, given the number of wars. NTs may be better on superficial measures such as controlling resources, but these abilities evolved for small hunter gatherer societies where murder was common. To understand humanity objectively we need, well, objectivity. NTs are too involved. If I wanted world peace I would choose Mr Spock, not Captain Kirk.

Spock said its the other way around for him.

In fact, many things make him feel very old