For those who do actually make a living at your talent...

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I asked a similar question in a post a while back, but it was less general. I was explaining how my parents, relatives and friends all consider me a genius and musical genius above all and yet regardless of all the decent or good songs I write...I am socially ret*d so I guess I will remain a bedroom musician my whole life. I thought about posting some of my songs on youtube(disabling all comments to avoid having to read negative comments from people due to being over sensitive) and just allow either thumbs ups and downs and see how the world response to my art. Aside from a simplistic approach like this...I won't take part in complex networking as it would probably lead me into stress, and ultimately a series of meltdowns.

How's the project coming along, MrXxx?

I think it's more my ADHD and getting over things and diving into things without thinking, that has made me less able to achieve my goals.
Networking is important and band photographer's have to do a lot of it. A lot of bands didn't just want live shots but promos. I did a few but other people kind of directed it.

As an author I just need to communicate with editors and I seem to have some contacts already. It helps knowing arty people. Now I just need to keep working on the book which I only seem to do the first few hours on medication.

I do have a job lined up for me - not really a done deal but know someone who can get my foot in the door, so to speak. Things is given my sensory issues (especially migraines and seizures) it's going to be really stressful. I did before and it was stressful when I was healthier. So I haven't taken the necessary steps to get that job because of my fear. I know I should do it. I happen to live somewhere where my skills as a band photographer and experience will get me a good position. The job is for a magazine I've been a mad fan of since 2004, and I still have all my issues. It would be a dream come true but there's a lot of stress that goes with it (I'm not just talking tiredness and disagreements here - it's meltdown inducing to just get to these gigs - and there's always security treating you like sh**) and also my brother might not follow through. He wants me to work though so I hope that he will. But getting enough motivation to make a simple portfolio is really difficult. I could do it now but that would mean I'd have to shut down my computer, connect the drive with all my backed up photos, choose the best ones (7 years worth) and then sign up to a photo sharing website, upload them and forward the link to my brother or burn them to disc. Even on Ritalin I'm finding this tough.

What project?

Did you miss the incredible detailed response that HighPlateau gave you back on page 2? She specifically asked you to tell her if her response had been useful. You haven't answered after more than 2 weeks. Could it be that you're the one not getting back to people instead of them not getting back to you? If I had taken the time to write what she did and was ignored, I'd just give up on the person.

Mr Xxx, I'm NT and don't want to take up much of you time but I do want to say this: I can sort of understand why you only want "successful AS networking issues overcomers" to post here, if that makes any sense (yes some NTs make up words too).

Even so, many others have posted and your frustration about this has come through very clearly indeed. That is a bit frustrating for others (myself included) to read who think they may have one or two hopefully helpful or relevant thoughts to share but daren't because I certainly don't fit your category of "invited posters".

hi shrox,

i read a every now and the some of your posts. Btw I like them. What kind of artist are you?

best regards,
anton

Nope. I saw it. Replies are trickling in and I'm just letting them for now. People seem to be stumbling onto it regularly enough. I'm just waiting until I have the time to devote fairly to it. This is very important to me so I want to hyperfocus on it when I do get to it. Haven't had the opportunity yet, but I will. I've seen good stuff, and can't wait until I can devour it all.

Ah. You misread me. Everyone is welcome to answer. It's a public forum. I don't run it. But thank you for the unexpected measure of respect anyway. Yeah, I do specifically want "issues overcomers" (love to coin my own words too), but never meant to imply others without issues aren't welcome too.

I got a little bit frustrated earlier, but not with the users. I didn't think I was getting my point accross as to specifically what the "gold" was I was really looking for. Fire away! I'm all eyes. I've only popped on now and again for the past (what is it now? A week? Two weeks?), can't remember just to see if the thread had died. Pleasantly surprised that it hasn't.

As I mentioned in my last post, as long as replies are trickling in, I'm going to let them for a while, then pop in and digest them all when I have the time to really dig deep.

Thanks

Just because I'm NT doesn't mean I have no issues! And yes I did misread you. I think you have been clear about what you want to know but on this thread you seem to not be your customary super reasonable & patient self. Anyway, I will post in the next few days, sadly my wage slave job is demanding some input, not to mention the dreaded team Xmas lunch...

You must catch me only on my best days. I go through "waves." If you only catch me at the crests, you'll get that impression I suppose, but there are troughs too. I usually don't post much when I'm in those, but I have lately so everyone is probably seeing the "other side" of me off and on lately.

Hey guys, I'm starting to focus on this some now, and one thing has come up. It's been really hard lately for me to focus on the extremely detailed breakdowns some of you have offered. It's like I want to absorb everything all at once, but can't, so certain details are popping out here and there. The ones that are I've noticed are those that I already identify with. That's a real problem I think, because those are the things I already know. I don't know why I'm having such a problem just following what you've all written as you've written it, other than that my ADD is really wreaking havoc right now.

It's really bugging me, because it's been a MONTH since I started this thread, and I still haven't been able to weed through it and glean what I DON'T know out of it all. Part of the problem is I do see some things here and there I know I need to ask about (as in, "What do you mean by this?"), but I honestly don't know how to ask in a way that will get an explanation that makes sense to me. Damned Autism!

Anyway, I do want you all to know I AM still paying attention to this, and I AM working on sifting through it all. Eventually, hopefully sooner than later, I will be back to post some more pointed questions about what you all have posted.

I do wonder one thing about myself and how I'm dealing with the replies. When I see things I identify with, because I already know and utilize it, it makes me go, "Hey! Here's some valuable stuff!" That bothers me a little, because I'm afraid I may be missing even more valuable info just because it looks so foreign. Maybe it's not so bad though. Maybe that's what I need to do because it's better to build upon what's already there within me than to tear it all down and start over with brand new paradigms.

Then again, maybe I just need to quit second-guessing myself. That, I think, may be my "Achilles heal."

Whatever the case, I'm on it now.

I'm listening to all this good advice too. Mr Xxxx, I'm not sure I can tell you exactly how to do this, but from what my musician friends have told me, you might want to get an agent who knows the business and has the contacts. An NT extrovert could handle "the dirty work". As far as how to find such an agent, try the trade magazines. Don't ask me which ones, but they have to be out there. Send a sample of your work, copyrighted of course. I think one of the biggest mistakes people wanting to work for themselves make is thinking they have to do everything by themselves. If you try doing everything that you're not good at you'll have no time to do what you are good at.

I went to graduate school to become a teacher: earned a MA in English and a teaching certificate.

Now being in front of a classroom is much different than dealing with people in a social/business environment. I generally don't like dealing with people in a business environment, but when I am teaching, it is "scripted" to some degree, and I know exactly what is expected of me. I was(am) an excellent teacher. I am also a very good writer (published a book chapter in a scholarly text, and a couple creative short-stories).

Unfortunately, teaching is a dead-end career: new teachers coming out of school face massive unemployment (over 90% in my state). State budget cuts, teacher unions, a messed up education system, all contribute to the dismal career prospects. I managed to teach at a private school making a poverty wage for a couple years, but then got fed-up and moved into the IT industry.

IT pays the bills and has allowed me a comfortable living, but the writing is on the wall. Everything is being outsourced overseas, salaries are falling, expectations are rising.

I try to stay one-step ahead of the curve by anticipating where the industry is going, and so far I have been successful.

I still have issues with interpersonal communication at work: my boss is a nightmare, and I hate office politics.

My only advice as far as careers/life goes is

1. You can only lose what you have. By going into debt, surrounding yourself with expensive toys, etc., you will lose some of your freedom and security. Focus on what you need, not what you want.
2. Invest in yourself, not pie-in-the-sky business projects. Build your skillset, and never become a one-trick pony.
3. Never assume your identity is wrapped up in your career: you are a human being, not a human doing. I might be doing something totally different 5 years from now, who knows?
4. Try not to turn what you love into work.

I've read so many of those and think they are mostly useless to non-NTs. We don't think or act the same, and those books are written by NTs. I've found some things to help me, but a lot of things I just go, "Huh?" at.

More than anything, Aspies need a manager (or similar) to be the social go between for them. I can do my art/talent fine, but totally lack in networking and socializing to book things or make things happen. The whole networking thing is where Aspies have a great disadvantage.

Perfect. And organized exactly as I take information in. Thank you very much. I know how long it takes me to organize info the way you did.




I am exactly the same with routine dictated by others, which is why freelancing at something seems to be the way to go. I have already done a few "jobs," both paid and unpaid (intern work), and not had a problem delivering on time due to my own obsession with getting the work done and presented ASAP, in case there are any changes, adjustments or corrections necessary.




I don't think I "put people's backs up," but that's hard to know. I dont' read anyone well enough to know whether that happens unless the other person possesses a strong personality with exaggerated expressiveness. Generally, from those that have shared their impressions, that is a rare problem for me. The "one wrong note" has happened once or twice that I know of, but if it has happened a lot more than that, I am totally unaware of it, and THAT could be a serious problem if it is happening more than I realize. This is a concern for me.

Your "workaround" is already EXACTLY my modus operandi, and has been for a number of years. I screen all phone calls, and allow almost all to go to voice mail. I only read emails that are absolutely necessary to read, and only reply to the same. One thing that is a problem is that I also edit and re-edit mails, but it takes me a very long time to do so. It's not unusual for one email to take as long as five hours to complete. If you haven't noticed yet, I can be very wordy, and that is not good with on line communications.

For the moment, a trusted medium is not an option, but perhaps down the road.



As explained above, I'm already there. In addition, If I'm "at work" I don't even answer the door. With regard to the most important communications, I won't even allow that to happen verbally due to my ADD and never being able to remember exactly what was said by whom. There are, of course, occasional exceptions, but only for brief arrangements, or to clarify small and very few details.



I can handle more than one task, but not much more than a couple. Three at once is about enough. Same rules apply though. Nothing but the tasks on the table matter. Everything else waits. Period.



This I don't have a problem with. I don't mind clients telling me what to do as long as it's within the parameters of what they want as a "final product." I do NOT need to have them calling me, or emailing me telling me HOW to do it, but there could be some exceptions to that rule.

I once spoke with a freelancer (I think he was a software designer but I can't remember), who posted on his web site, and on his office door:

RATES:

• Base rate: $50.00 per hour (You tell me what you need, and I do all the work, including determining how it's done.)
• Custom Rate: $100.00 per hour (You tell me what you need, and how you want me to do it.)
• Premium Service: $200.00 per hour (You tell me what you need and stand over my shoulder involved in the process from start to finnish.)

He said that most clients just laugh off the second two rates as "jokes," and opt for the lowest. He also said though, that he actually did have some very controlling clients that took the higher rates very seriously, and understood that although the highe rates seemed like a "bad deal," they really weren't. On the one hand, it was more expensive by the hour, but on the other, depending on the client, it could actually cost about the same per job, but be done more quickly if the client was already very succinct about what they wanted, how it should work, and were extremely good communicators. If not, and that was what he had to judge if clients wanted to go that route, it could be a cluster****. Usually, he said, he would discourage clients from being that involved, but there were some exceptions.

For me, the biggest issue that has come up has been after I think a job is finished and the client has had nothing but praise, they come back shortly after with complaints and what they think are just "tweaks" that actually require practically redoing parts if not the whole job from square one. That issue usually comes from my assumptions that I understood what they wanted, but upon a deeper look from them, discovering there are things that didn't get through to me. That issue stems from both Autism and ADD for the most part. That's been a hard thing to deal with, and I think at times I have caused their backs "to come up."

It's the "as long as they are clear" part that can be troublesome. They may think they've been clear. I may think I get what they want clearly. Sometimes we're both dead wrong. I definitely need to learn how to deal with that better.

Aside from those things, there is one other issue. Clients who don't clearly understand the limitations of what I do, asking me to go beyond that. Some have thought these "extra" things should be part of my end of the job. Some of that, I know, is because I need to learn to be more clear about it, but depending on the type of job, it can also be a lack of understanding in the client of the technologies involved. I suppose that's a normal thing every freelancer deals with no matter what it is they do.



With some slight differences, this is how I got some of the work I've received too. The way you get your business now is exactly what I want too.



Makes sense. Niche is what I'm looking for.



I look at your "stroke of luck" a little differently than I think you do. I don't believe so much in "luck." The reason you got the initial job and client is because you worked for the company you got them from before. Just working for others is definitely part of beginning a network, even if you start as their employee.

The rest of what you've pointed out here though, points so a problem I know exists, and I know needs to be solved, but not sure yet what to do about it.

I am a "jack of many trades," master of none. There are a lot of things I can do. Here's a list of categories:

• Web site design (I mainly work with Joomla infrastructure, and I'm pretty damned good at it)
• Mulitmedia integration
• Photoshop
• Music composition and song writing
• Music production and mixing
• Forum software installation and configuration
• Putting all the above together to create a functional website for pretty much any purpose.

It's the last one I'm actually the best at, but I do not have a network of people who excel at any of the others to leverage. Music is the part I love working with the most, but I also love to see a finished web site at work. I've not yet been paid as a freelancer for anything on this list but some Joomla template designs. I have done some Photoshop work for an internship, unpaid, but the guy I did it for is looking for help again, this time for good pay.

I do know that lack of focus on what I actually do is a bit of a problem. I've read two things about that. Actually I've read a lot more than that, but these two I am using as examples of conflicting advice that exists about this topic. One article said, "Find your focus. Keeping your options open is a myth. You need to be crystal clear about what you do." Another though, said, "Let your telephone tell you what you do." The latter was about listening to what people calling you are telling you they want. That sounds a lot like keeping your options open to me.



It is clear that some "luck" (or more accurately, "getting your foot in the door with the right people" ~ "It's all in who you know" is actually very true IMO), is essential in getting started and developing a solid business. Getting over that threshold has been a tough thing for me. Several starts that just fizzle out seems to be the unfortunate pattern so far, and I think it's because I have poor networking skills.

The immediate problem seems to be in finding that "One Happy Client." Maybe I am just not being persistent enough. Out of the two "clients" so far I have had, although both did contact me again about other jobs, I haven't yet been able to secure anything else out of either of them. I send mails to check in with them, and get nothing back. I don't know whether I've said something wrong, done something wrong, or if stuff just came up for both of them and they couldn't get back to me. I'm not pestering them either. I might send them one email in a few months, or several if I haven't heard in a while. That is one of the problems with exclusively online contacts.


I was going to continue splicing comments with the rest of what you posted, but in the interests of keeping this post a little shorter, and time, I've decided to just give you a summary reaction:

The rest of what you wrote all makes perfect sense. I'm pretty familiar with everything in the lists. I like the comment on cold-calling. I've actually heard from many people in business for themselves that cold-calling doesn't really yield very good results percentage-wise. Most have told me it's a last resort method for them. They say it does get them business, but it's a lot of effort for little reward, but it's a good way to get started if you don't manage to stumble onto that "One Happy Customer" as you put it. You do have to get the network started somehow, and if you don't even have that first solid contact, cold-calling could can work to find them.

Having done cold-calling a lot in the past, unfortunately I know that is one thing I really suck at.

Thanks very much for the herculean effort in putting your post together. I bet I'll be reading it again a few more times. There is a lot there, and though it took a while for you to get to the specific question, I understand why you did it the way you did. You write a lot like I do when explaining things like this. I would have had to start the same way you did.

Thanks again!