How would you react to being asked if you are autistic?

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I have noticed a pattern (surprise!), on average, those old than 25-30 don't seem to have an association with a social stigma about AS, while those 25 and younger seem to have an association with it we older ones just don't seem to have. Is this a correct observation?

I'd mentally freak out, as I view my cover as had blowing, but I can really never know exactly what I'll say until the moment of truth. I've reacted differently at different times. Part of me wants people to ask so I can tell them, part of me doesn't and just wants to blend in, which is impossible for me as I already try to out perform.

"Yes, I am Autistic. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes. Was it that obvious?"

Ha, you may be right! I'd say after a certain age people just become more comfortable with their diagnosis in a 'well, can't do anything about it, so why all the secrecy" kind of way. Also people 25 and older are more likely to have stable relationships and jobs, so perhaps they don't wory about being denied these things because of prejudice? If someone asked me, oh man I'd freak out. I'm paranoid that people might 'know' just be looking at or listening to me, especially because I'm in between jobs right now and being known to have AS would probably hurt my chances. It's sad, really. No, it's hilarious. Even I make myself laugh at my own neurotic thoughts. _________________ http://defeatingthedoginthedaytime.blogspot.com/ the trials and tribulations of a girl pretending to be normal

It depends on who asks. If it's someone I barely know/don't have a close relationship with, I'd ask them what makes them ask in the first place. Then I'd tell them I'm just really independant and don't care for social norms, but I wouldn't mention being autistic.

I'd agree that there's far more uncertainty about your future before the age of 25 than afterwards, so people tend to be more concerned about social acceptance since it's a relatively good approximation of how "accepted" you'll be in society and how "well" you'll tend to do in various areas of life. Also, there's a cool graph I've found online that summarizes this trend...

Well, it wasn't noisy the entire time and it isn't usually that loud - its just that drunk people came and sat near us.

As for why to go - it actually is a social event. Members of the club am a member of go to the cheap sushi nights.



Seriously. Stop it. This is not the only time you've done this and every time its incredibly irritating. I really could care less in this situation other than the fact that you seem to regularly start talking about how people must be acting rather than thinking that maybe they're actually talking literally.

Truthfully I don't think I could even ever see this person as a friend, but I feel incredibly guilty as if I hurt him via inaction when I could have done something without going out of my way (the fact that it would have been incredibly difficult doesn't affect the guilt).

Tuttle, tuttle, tuttle. Can't you see that I'm preparing you for the real world of dealing with NT bullies? When a person comes along and makes a prepostereous claim, and you react to it, this type of NT known as a "bully" will egg it on in order to elicit further reactions from you. Your best type of response is to ignore it or tease the person or mock the person, and laugh it off, as this will defuse the bully. Note, I'm not really a bully, I'm just pretending to be one for your training so you can learn what to do in the future. Once you know how to react, you should have no problems with bullies in the future.

Anyway, thank me anytime you wish.

Were I in the situation you're describing, already visibly distressed and in a public place with a group of other people, I'm not exactly sure how I'd react, but probably not well. It's hardly the least stressful topic in the world for me and I don't think it's something I'd want to talk about in a situation where I was already stressed out, and there were lots of other people around whose autistic-friendliness was unknown to me.

I'd probably react better to being asked in private and if you told me you were autistic before asking, to build some trust.

I completely understand your situation, when I see someone who looks distressed in the way you described I usually feel really bad and wish I could do something about it (so much for not having empathy). Actually, it is likely to make me feel somewhat distressed myself.

I think probably the most you could do in that situation would be to ask if he is OK, which hopefully would let him know that you notice that he is upset and you care. What you choose to do at another time is another matter. Do you have some means of communicating with him other than in person, like Facebook or email or something?

Have you considered talking about this without actually mentioning autism? You could say something like, "I noticed that you seemed upset the other day when (X happened) and the same thing happens to me sometimes. I find that it can be helpful to (do Y) when I get caught in that kind of situation." I don't think it's really necessary to mention any diagnostic labels to be honest.