how to get past the darkest depressed apathy?

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But how could you really know that without trying it, fraac?

Say using an SSRI, the one drug class that modifies serotonin via re-uptake. If these neurons were marginally firing as indicated by a distortion in self concept; and once the boost in normalcy comes along here via this drug, you don't feel "drugged" and comfortably numbed. You feel as though you experience a different perspective that arises invisibly from the subconscious, and un-drugged. The old limping along self no longer limps along on weaknesses. A cognitive repair is going on here, and not a Lucy in the Sky lift or shift.

I've had moments of pure clarity and connectedness, and apart from when I was in love they were all during the most intensely awful times when I could feel everything and the pain connected me to the real world. Had one a couple of weeks ago after a bad headache, just connected through the pain to the real world, felt superb for two days. This process makes sense to me. I read about Buddhist ideas a while ago and they describe my experience really well, including the moments I've been Buddha. If religions have been written about me I figure my 'average' state is sanity, even if I don't spend much time there. So I don't mind exploring depression - I'm here, I've earned it, and the idea of snapping out of it by choice is flattering to my ego.

Cool.

I'm thinking here that your condition isn't unbearable and you don't suffer any cognitive losses from it. Usually the cognition part dives when under the neurotransmitter influence. It just might be dysthymia.

The problem comes when it interferes with job performance and homelife . The expectations of you are unable to be satisfied.

If you can skate by this, sometimes this condition i.e. hardship can make you different and stronger and better by reflection. It can de-hallucinogise the pent up reality around you.

I eat takeaway food every day even when I'm not hungry. Earlier I had a large pizza and bottle of coke and had to puke them up before I could lie down. Definitely cognitive losses.

I'm not interested in forcing people to take medications if they don't want them. I do think people have unrealistically negative perceptions of some medications. I also think it's a bit late to attempt to do anything with the moral high ground after saying that medications are for "pod people."



Just checking - do you actually like the phrase "maladaptive cognition" or are you using it sarcastically? Either way doesn't bother me, but I can't work out how to read your post.

I hope you find something that helps, though. Being in a depressive state is awful.

I am not taking any "moral high ground" here.

I'm sorry for misreading your intent. The "pod people" comment bothered me.

eventually it will, keep going through the motions.

No offense intended. I was answering the "p****" post.

The posts here in favor of medication come off sort of creepy to me, and very disrespectful when in response to someone who has already stated they don't want to be on them. It's like there is an inability on the part of some to recognize 1. not everyone responds to meds in the same way and 2. people have the right to simply choose not to take them for any old reason they choose.

It's cool, I can always ignore people who are pushing it for their own reasons.

I just liked 'maladaptive cognition'. I would say crazy.

I don't think it's creepy to point out that medication can be beneficial. It's not as if anyone can compel fraac to take pills if he doesn't want to.

It probably is creepy to insist that taking medication or not taking medication is necessary, but I mostly just find it annoying and invasive.



The phrase amused my therapist to no end. She also loved that I would say "anhedonia" instead of just saying, "I can't seem to enjoy anything."

I referred to suicidal ideation as a maladaptive security blanket, as well. I like the word "maladaptive." I also like the word "cognition." Why say things in two syllables when I can send people running for the dictionary?

That's precisely why I find it creepy...because it's not as if people can convince someone to do something they don't want to do. It's like it has nothing to do with that person at all. It would be like if someone offered me an orange, and I said no thanks I don't especially like oranges, but the person just went on and on talking about why I should eat oranges as if I hadn't even said anything. When people talk that way, it sounds to me more like they are trying to convince themselves, not the other person. It seems self-hypnotic.

People say what they have to say, I think mostly it isn't by choice. Don't worry about it.

I read an interesting book on the SSRI's published in '93. It themed on the remarkable changes in people vs. the old drug categories of the MAO's and the tricyclics. The author was a Harvard MD and didn't have an agenda other than one of dissemination of his clinical knowledge.

In the book he gave many anecdotes of how," Jerry the surgeon was able to be assertive now, and get his MD," or how many individuals benefit from a change on this side of the serotonin equation, etc.

The book develops partially or touched on some philosophical points on free will or lack thereof by biological reductionism -- very interesting--- I could recommend it as a reading to all. I once lent it out to a retired school teacher friend, and she commented on how she couldn't understand the book, and remarked with bewilderment that I could explain it or talk about it. It was intended for her to get a better understanding of her sons inexplicable behavior, also a friend and my contemporary.

But the bottom line was the use of the words "slightly ill, eccentric or crazy." This was the description of people who showed behaviors outside the norm, but are functional enough to not be locked away. 'Mildly ill" was the general word and this wonder drug now found a niche in the "eccentric" department.

I recall watching two different episodes of peoples' account of how they experienced this mild madness. One guy said he became bifurcated and thus compartmentalized in his thinking, and hence "mad." Not ill enough to be hospitalized but ill enough to where you are in a mode of survival.

Another was women who could not participate in her children's lives while growing up. "Too overwhelmed" and stood by sidelined from it, and intellectually knew there was something wrong or off, but limping along and dysfunctionally mired in this cognitive state.

Last edited by Mdyar on 15 Jan 2012, 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Who's worried?

I have no idea how you could come to that conclusion. I talked about medication but I don't need to convince myself that it worked, I already know it worked. I don't even need to convince fraac it worked, because it's up to him whether he thinks it's worthwhile (and I think he said it isn't worthwhile). I assume if someone tells another person something it's because they want to tell that other person something.