Do you think aspergers Is a gift or a curse?

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How about, just something given that I had no say in. That's all it is in the end.

How you mean it though, a curse for me, as it stops me from doing things I'd like to do; not things that are"out there" and unattainable by the average person, rather, things the average person does. Not much of a gift for me, as the one positive of such is the good memory for facts; it doesn't do much for me.

Wow, I know the trajectory of a 240 grain .44 Magnum round fired from an 18" barreled rifle out to 1,000 meters in 50 meter increments. Not much good that does me in most aspects of life, except when I put lead on target. "Normal" people just need to write it down in a notepad, rather than recall it from memory, which doesn't slow one down at all.

AS for me has been both a gift and a curse for me. it has been a gift because I can get a lot of subjects in school more quickly than my peers. I can also get very focused on thing that I find important which makes me more likely to succeed. People also tend to listen to me because I am a rational person

AS is a curse because I have spent years painstakingly learning every social skill that NTs pick up on more easily. AS has also made me feel dehumanized and treated as if I am a robot. I also have gave up on or lost interest in things that most NTs enjoy in life such as romantic relationships and having my own family.

Well said, I agree and empathize with most of what you typed, but I guess I still hold a naive belief that I might engage in a romantic relationship some day. I've had girlfriends before, but my rationality turned them off, I think.

AS and doing well at school aren't related. Perhaps doing well in one subject due to it being an interest works (you devote all your attention to such), but otherwise, no, AS will most likely hinder you more than help at normal schooling (executive functioning problems, pragmatic problems, and some other things); it doesn't mean you can't do well, it's just that they aren't related.

The main reason people think those with AS do well is because it precludes low "intelligence" [in most cases]. If you're quite intelligent and can grasp things quicker than your peers, it means that you're quite intelligent.

The only thing that has saved me from complete social isolation is that I'm very attractive as a person. If I were some ugly kid I would have ended up like all the other kids in my high school that had it...in my mom's basement playing World of Warcraft. I also happen to be black and people want to save me because I'm a black "genius" and they want to put as many of us in the spotlight as possible. So it's a curse when I'm asked everyday by my English teachers to explain the significance of this story or that story and so on. It's a curse when I'm asked to go up to the board and work out chemistry problems for the class and the entire class hates me for it. That makes it a curse, I thought that being smart meant that I would be more popular, it means that people don't pick on me as much but it certainly does not make me popular as I assumed it would. Affability is a blessing to me...but what's the old saying...the grass is always greener.

I wouldn't know.

It is the Horse-beast curse.

You sirs summarized my whole life that I had no idea until a week or two ago is called "Asperger/s".

To the OP. Just do what you think is best for you. Don't let them dictate what you should do. We all have human rights, and we are all fighting for equality. To them, we are "different". To us, in our eyes, THEY are the ones who are different.

It just so happen that "they/them" are more than "us". If our positions were reversed, there are more of us Aspies than NTs, we 'might' do the same thing.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm not dividing 'us' and 'them'. It is just the lack of understanding on both sides. We are quick to judge the book by its cover, instead of listening and helping each other.

^_^

Live your life to the fullest. It's hard, yes, but we're the "minority". Anything that doesn't conform to the majority, the world sees as "not normal". Don't restrict yourself to their social norms. Live your life. Make the best of it. Blessing or curse, it is up to you to make it so.

Make it a blessing. Make it a gift. The choice is yours. Turn a blind eye and a deaf ear if you have to.

It can be a gift when:
I am working/fixing computers
I am Gaming and winning, with ease
I am reciting information about an item
I am performing tasks I know well and burn through it faster than Speedy Usain Bolt Gonzales
I am typing out lists
I get to chat to others on here

It's a curse when:
I need to get a new job
I get too nervous to leave the house
I need to do certain things by myself
I want to find a boyfriend
I go out and socialise
I need to recall something from my short term memory
I am meeting new people
I have to try and keep a conversation going
I over think many things
I sometimes have to lie to people because I don't want to go out
I have nobody to talk to about it (apart from on here)
I know it will never get better or go away
People don't understand what I have to go through
I realise the old adage of the 'nice guy' is totally true

I would definitely say it's a curse. So many people out there want to be 'different' but if they just knew what it was like to be so, then perhaps they would change their tune. I'm not trying to put a downer on this thread by the way

I`m not one of those delusional people who says !!OMFG I LOVE MY ASPERGERS I`M SOOO LUCKY!!
It can be a real pain, but it can in some ways be a good thing. Whatever, I work with the cards I`m dealt.

Neither, it's a neurological abnormality, and anyone can take any attitude to it if they want.

It all depends on what sort of environment you were brought up in. I was an Aspie brought up in an NT family, with about 14 cousins who are all NTs and don't seem to have any issues with social skills and making friends, and so it has always made me feel excluded and miserable. As an adult, I have learnt to get along with my cousins better when we're all together (which is not very often), but all my adult cousins are all into drinking and clubs and going out, and that's all they ever talk about now, and the cousins who are under 18 aren't ready for all that yet but will be once they reach 17 or 18, and they seem introverted now and one (who is 15) is already hanging around the town with his mates after dark.

I never had the chance to do that, and even if I do, I say no because loud bars make me clam up and other people (especially young NTs) can sense my social fear and lack of social skills so I know I won't have a good time like I should, but it makes me feel miserable because I WANT to do these things but my nasty Autistic brain won't let me.

So I don't call Autism a curse for nothing. Actually, I call it more than a curse but I won't write it down here, although the word will f*****g express a lot about how I feel about living with this s**t.

And I don't go around thinking ''oh if I didn't have AS I wouldn't be able to have my talent'' because that is just stupid. I know a lot of NTs who have my talent, which is playing the piano, so if I was born NT I still might have a knack for playing the piano. I do NOT associate that with my AS. Also I don't go around thinking ''oh if I didn't have this AS, I wouldn't be able to work a computer''. What the f**k? I don't know about any of you, but every young NT who I know all know how to use a computer and they all own a computer. Where I come from, you're considered ''weird'' if you DON'T own a computer. Doesn't anybody here know that most things these days are done on computers and internet?
I don't care even if good things did come out of having AS - I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

Last edited by Joe90 on 27 Feb 2012, 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Curses can actually be useful.

Its certainly a curse & a gift. Its a gift when I write poetry or decide to study something, or apply my learning to my hobbies.
Its a curse because it kills romance, fosters misunderstandings, & threatens to overwhelm me.
Wonder where thos scales are now?

Sincerely,
Matthew

it was a gift when i was young and still hyper. i loved my hyperactivity and the high it gave me. it's an almost eurphoric feeling.
it was a gift when working for mcdonalds and being the fastest worker and actually enjoying it. i was the only person on earth who enjoyed working for mcdonalds.
it's a gift when the music rocks my senses and alleviate my mood the way i don't believe it does for nts.
it's a gift when dogs and cats who are usually not friendly come to me and the pure happiness i get from patting them and mothering them.
it's a gift because i'm independent and my happiness doesnt relly on someone's else's love or society's acceptance.
it's a gift because i'm smart.
it was a gift when living in a dangerous neighborhood, very dangerous, and coming home at midnight from work sometimes. i read someplace aspies like danger. i did. otherwise i'd probably be scared to death.
it's a curse when i get those endless stomach aches. it kept me from continuing taking kickboxing classes which i really loved.
it's a curse when i get unexplained, not situation based anxiety. especially that was bad in my childhood. sometimes i was just terrified, barely able to move. didn't tell anyone anything, though, and just suffered and was miserable quietly.
was a curse when being picked on a hundred times more than anyone else.
a curse when wanting to get close to another person and not being able to.
a curse when i have to get medical checkups. i have a veeeeery low pain tolerance, except for some pains i have an extremely high tolerance, of course. but because i'm such a tense person i get anxious and am a basket case weeks before the checkup, a checkup everyone claims doesn't hurt, but hurt me plenty.
a curse when i suffer from insomnia, which is all the time.
a curse when my ocd kicks in, which is everyday, and it exhausts me.
a curse when i try lighting a match or fitting a thread through a sewing needle's hole.

Its both. Its a gift when your very talented and smart but also a curse because you cannot understand others and others do not understand you and treat you like a jinchuriki. lol Reference to naruto Shippuden on last part of the sentence. But yeah others look at you like a freak and do not want anything to do with you you get singled out and selectively punished for no reason by the teacher at younger years. Etc people constantly target you for things you have not done wrong. People wanting to constantly con you rob you and even police treat you like a criminal until they find nothing on your record when they run your id. Its a curse do to inability to sometimes control meltdowns at times. But it is a blessing because you can be more talented beyond the rest and shock and awe most people and help others out and be a great contribution to society even though alot of times society doesnt deserve it lol.