Why do bullies have so many friends?

Post Reply New Topic

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer

The downside is infection, or corruption of the spirit by the beast

I mean bully

I always hope these kids grow up and realize what a mistake they made. I know a few of them who say they have, and they're actually pretty friendly and open-minded today. Oddly though, I've only ever heard one person apologize, and that was my boyfriend saying he was sorry to a kid he (and everyone else) used to pick on in summer camp. We're friends with the kid now (he's actually autistic, too.) I know a lot of people come to their senses eventually, but wouldn't it be nice if more actually apologized? I think I'd be moved to tears if some of the people who once pushed me around came up to me with a genuine apology. I wonder why it's so rare? (Besides the fact that a lot of people lose touch, that is.)

A part of them wants to

Some(most?) of my bullies are consumed from within and want the guilts to stop. Maybe some get cancer, have accidents

If that part that wants to make amends for being a bully is too small for the part that says 'screw this and screw you' ..... no coming forward to heal the past will eventuate.

maybe after a spiritual awakening, or the spectre of imminent death from disease, may see NT's apologising if your lucky

They have high serotonin levels; high serotonin makes them more social AND more aggressive.

That's Interesting,

When I was in secondary school I was bullied a lot and I always wonder why the bullies had a lot friends and the girls but I sadly didn't.

I guess it's because the 'friends' of the bullies want to be a part of the pack and they don't want to be bullied themselves.

Why apologize if people are going to think it's BS and won't forgive you?

It's not that they have all those friends. Bullies have a wolf pack mentality. They like to form a pack and gain up on the most vulnerable members of society. I'm speaking from experience. I've been bullied and teased a lot.

I know that one girl who bullied me was disliked at the place I worked in which was good news for me. I remember one of my bosses said they wanted to get their hands on her because she was trouble.

God that's horrible. I had a few teachers bully me too. F**king scum of the Earth.

I was bullied badly at Secondary school and always got the impression that the teachers sided with the bullies. Especially my House Master who told me "There must be pretty damned fundamental wrong with you if they are all doing it". I was about 14 at the time and that really damaged my self esteem.

There were also times when people who weren't directly involved in the bullying would come to me when they were on their own and say "don't worry about it - they're idiots". However, when the ringleaders were around these same people would join in!

True, I may have been a bit awkward and a bit immature (which may or may not have been related to Aspergers) but I wasn't a nasty kid who was "asking for it". It's only now, thirty years later that I'm coming to realise that it wasn't my fault.

Bullies have so many friends because of two things. Fear and peer pressure.

c***s tend to band together, just as flies swarm around s**t. It's the nature of the universe.

I have suffered the same, when I was at Secondary school there was a few boys who would say hi or act friendly towards me but when they had a audience they would taunt me, there audience will start laughing and join in or when a bully starts taunting me they would join in and start laughing like a pack of Hyenas.

Once I was being bullied in Science, the bully was taunting me, having fights with me, the other kids were either laughing at me or staring at me and the entire time while this happening the teacher and teacher's assistant was there and did nothing to stop anything.

Yes, that's just unspeakably cruel. I do know what that's like So sorry, Zexion - you sure deserved better.

Surfman, awesome picture

I think, in sum, that our (aka Aspie) definition of friend is more true & accurate. Really, those 'friends' of bullies don't meet the criteria. Therefore, we're comparing apples to oranges, if you know what I mean. There is an element of dominance/submission for them, isn't there? Like a weird dominatrix relationship.

because they get the idea that hanging out with the bullies makes them less likely the target of being bullied themselves and the false idea that they are cool.

Goodness, if I knew in my childhood that being a bully makes kids afraid of you so they be your friend, I may have tried and to be the worst bully as possible so everyone be afraid of me and be my friend. But I bet that would have also failed just like me bullying didn't make kids think I was cool and not stupid and think I was just as good as them so bam they all like me and accept me and be my friend and stop making fun of me.