Which NT Traits Baffle you the Most?

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The way they talk to each other in a group. Its not really a conversation, but a battle to get the first word in which more or less puts me out the conversation as I can't keep up with what is being said.

The way stupidity seems to be almost an admired quality. Like someone saying they got so drunk the night before they don't know what happened and laugh about it. Why is things like this amusing in any way?

The constant attention and approval they seek in anything they do, whether it be good or bad.

The constant need to fit in. I've knew people that have completely adapted their personalities just to fit in with another crowd. Happened a while ago with a friend of mine unfortunately, so I am no longer in regular touch with him.

The joy and hilarity they seem to emit from the misfortune of others, whether it be bullying or a simple put down. Never understood why making someone else feel bad about themselves would bring someone any joy.

The level of interest in another peoples affairs. This tends to be common with female NT, whether it be what the celebrities are getting up to, or dishing out the latest gossips. Why would you make the affairs of others a priority of yours?

I could go on more, but I think I've said enough. Maybe my Autism is a blessing after all!

That's very interesting. Logically it explains the behaviour... even though the behaviour itself is irrational. I'm getting pretty good at asking people if they want advice anymore before giving it, but now I know why they're liable to say no. Thanks

I don't get this either. I've concluded that some people just aren't very nice, and I avoid those people whenever possible.

Your welcome, but don't take this as an objective method of evaluating As demonstrated by Steven Tyler77 other situational factors may alter the rationality of an approach.

Last edited by Shambles on 28 Apr 2012, 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Not strictly an NT trait, but it still confuses me:

But I do not understand why some people look so hard for hidden meanings in anything I say that they end up essentially scripting out an entire conversation that I am not actually involved in, despite the fact that they are technically responding to the words I spoke or wrote... but their interpretation is so far removed from what I said I don't even understand how they came to that conclusion.

I've really struggled with this at times. Most of the time I can just let it go, because whatever we're talking about isn't that important anyway. But on those occasions where it really does matter that the other person understands I sometimes find that they don't no matter how painfully precise and clear I am. It's definitely not all NTs, so not an "NT trait" as such, but what kind of trait is it? A trait of emotionally-focused people?

I'm confused by the lack of directness. For example, rather than saying "Can you take out the trash?" a NT might say "Huh. The trash is full." when they're actually hoping to get someone to take it out. I can't wrap my head around why they just wouldn't be direct with their request in the first place.

Haha. When my mother was indirect, my father and I called it "hinting". It annoyed us both that she said, for example, "It's garbage night," rather than, "Can you take the garbage out, please?"

It still irks me but I try my best to let it go. Except sometimes I don't get the hint and end up getting someone annoyed at me. Then I stew and wonder, "Why didn't you just say so?"

When I lived with my grandmother, she liked to ask me to do things by saying "Do you want to do this?" and I'd say "No." and then she'd get mad at me for giving her a direct, honest answer. She did make it clear that she was asking me to do things for her, but for some reason, it was important to her that I also want to do these things. Very strange.

A lot of *Social consciousness*

There is a lot of feeling out there in regard to the relations with others. A very symbolic system of interaction that is intensely on the look out as to not to offend the other party ( parties). A strange bond here that only recently have I been able to get it or even sense it as from thier vantage point .

It's a pervasive hyperawareness of this or a supercharge of a type of empathy.

Sometimes ( many?) I see a need for a confirmation bias by others to reinforce something that they want to believe in, and others' will pad and pave the way to ease any tensions, regardless if it is even remotely correct.

It's a type of madness to me and the funny thing is now, I find myself having a tendency to succcumbing to this and I'd guess it is because we are all headed down that highway of non-existence -- I sense that free will is an illusion and that choices that we all make are programmed --' Make the travel comfortable.'

I can answer this. Because to some people it is not just about the trash. It is more about the emotions that surround it. This is difficult for me as well. What this person wants you to do is to volunteer to take the trash out. They want you to say "I have this handled." It makes them feel you are considering their feelings of consideration for them. It shows that you care about them. In the workplace it is called taking initiative. This person wants you to show that you care. This is an abstract concept. When you offer to take trash out for them it represents to them the idea that you care about them.

http://www.differencebetween.net/langua ... -thinking/

You,I and others on here think more in the concrete which means we would care more about the trash and that it was taken out by a certain day.

I can understand their rationale for all this and the fact that they need to feel important to me, but I believe they are kinda deluding themselves. If they're hinting at something and I pick up the cues and volunteer to do said task, then it's not really an initiative, it was just an answer to understanding their hint. And why cannot they understand that, by performing the task they asked me to do, I already show them all the consideration in the world? If they ask me to take out the trash and I do it for them, it means not only the idea, but also the fact that I care about them. After all, I did the task specifically for them - that means their desires, needs and feelings are important to me. But that's not enough for them - they want me to read their minds.

Well, as far as I know, accurate mind reading is impossible even for NTs. The first thing a psychotherapist learns in school is to resist the temptation of mind reading. Also, misguided mind reading is often a source of communication problems in the NT world. So they should start getting more proficient at expressing their needs and desires...

Yes, yes, a 1000 times yes! That's exactly how I've felt with some of my family and there was ongoing conflict over this. I refuse to guess what people want when they're perfectly capable of just stating it. My need for sanity takes priority over their delusional feelings of being "considered"!

I don't mean "obvious" things, by the way - I don't need everything spelt out. I just mean that if they don't have enough consideration for me to even tell me what they want then why should I have enough consideration for them to do what they want?

So true! Or, if you have a sibling that's younger than you, your parents don't question/supervise what they do. But anything you do, they'll demand to know every aspect of where you're going and when you'll be back. Makes me think I'm ret*d (which, deep down, I refuse to believe).

I too hate hearing people yell at each other. They need to calm down. Because 99.9% of the time, the argument is over some issue so petty I'm stumped as to why people would be in conflict over it.

I too hate hearing people yell at each other. They need to calm down. Because 99.9% of the time, the argument is over some issue so petty I'm stumped as to why people would be in conflict over it.