Aspergers and slang

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Yes, as a teenager, I was often made fun of for not understanding the slang terms of drug usage nor sexual terms, as i later realized they would just approach me just to get my literal interpretation.

When people say "dog". I want to respond by saying I'm not a canis lupus familiaris.

I wonder how NT teenagers are doing to always know what the slangs mean...

While we're on the subject, what IS it with these mid-20s+ white guys going around saying "how's it going Boss?" I get uncomfortable hearing that, they sound like they just got out of prison, anyway just because I pay them for an energy drink at the 7-11 doesn't make me their boss. It sounds very subservient and I don't like to have people groveling at my feet all that much.

1 that cracks me up though is those guys that call everyone 'son' - about 10 years ago I sold an amp to one of my brother's musician friends, he's about 5 years younger than me, but then next time I saw him I asked how he liked the amp. He said 'it sounds pretty good, son'

I still have yet to understand the dirty jokes and innuendos that the people around me like to use. I am, of course, just starting high school, so I cannot escape just yet.

I don't understand...how is "Kool-Aid in the valley" a reference to Silicon Valley?

I don't either, and I live in the Silicon Valley.

I did not understand what the meaning of getting ones salad tossed untill I was 25 and someone told me. I origionally pictured someone with a bowl of salad and had someone toss it. Oh no it meant something else really really gross lol. Oh and a pearl necklace? I thought it meant an actual necklace of pearls so I am thinking that very nice to do oh no its something messy and dirty lol.

Oh, haha, slang, ha.

It's actually really funny...I have an added problem with slang...or maybe its an advantage...I don't know.

I'm incredibly literal, yes, but I also don't see pictures in my head unless I think about what I heard. I see words floating by, like on a page.
So first, I hear the slang...then I see the words passing across my mind's eye...then, after a 3-4 second delay, I design a picture in my head because I just can't understand those words...oh, the pictures I get. By that time, the person who said the slang realized that I didn't get it...

So, I hear:
"What's up, dawg?"
I see first: w-h-a-t'-s u-p d-a-w-g-?
I then see the guy turned into a dog....or at least his head becomes a dog's head. The same with calling a girl, "chick."

My mind is rather entertaining, but most people think I'm stupid because of the "delay."

It was taken out of context, so I don't know what he was referring to, exactly. I assumed he was using the term "The Valley" to refer to Silicon Valley; I live in the Bay Area (though not in SIlicon Valley), and I've heard this usage before. I believe "Kool Aid" in this context was meant to be a reference to the expression "drinking the Kool-Aid":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drinking_the_Kool-Aid

Either way, it took some deductive reasoning to figure out that he wasn't talking about a literal valley filled with an artificially flavored beverage.