what do you live for?

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I still believe that I'll write a book or invent something that will have a positive impact on the future. We mustn't give up on our dreams.

What do I live for?

Thinking one day I will be out of Seattle, being able to do the things I like to do. Have a consistent job that I am good at the uses my skills. Meet a real friend on the way. Have peace, quiet, and time.

Now I have a job that is consistent, but I work at almost any time of the day, at multiple locations in the Puget Sound area. I have to drive 60- 200 miles a day. Pack 16-53 ft of stuff into trucks each day, some are 4,000 lbs, some are 10,000 lbs. coffee coffee, Three times a week I have to take the ferry boat, on Sundays there is a 90 minute wait, plus 30 minutes to cross, 30 minutes to get to the ferry. The population density is so high here, if I try to walk a way, every direction I turn there is always more people, if I find a place to hide for my lunch, I get searched by police. coffee coffee, The people that give us the items for resale are rude, fore broken stuff to you, force furniture when my truck is full and there is no where to put it and its not our property. "Its raining", "ok", "your so rude I won't come back". I stand outside all day in the rain getting unwanted items. coffee coffee There is never anytime, move move move, go to this location. Take a phone here, take paper work here, take 70 TVs here, go to the bank, they're not ready, waste of time, talk to this business owner, fail, talk to this home owner, fail, get lost, use my gps, no one else does, too many cars, all the intersections blocked up, go to Bainbridge Island 7:30am, get containers first in Seattle at 4:00am. Coffee coffee coffee now now now, no time, get home at 1:00am, be up the next day at 5:30Am. If I get 27Ft one day, i have to unload it all the next morning but quickly enough to start the new day and get it all over again. So yes it takes most of my energy, on my day off I don't want to do anything, and it takes too long to go to the mountains, and I don't know any one here To go with, I don't have time to get to know any one, if I do I am too fast due to my job, coffee coffee. I just wrote this all on my phone. I would like to take a vacation. I said that too fast too.

I don't live. I just exist.

I also live for my friends and family. I used to feel more at ease living my life as it came until a few years ago, but now, as I've realized more of my true nature, the high probability that I will never achieve anything outstanding in my life, that my mere existence will be more of a challenge for me as I age, that most likely I won't ever be in a fulfilling relationship with someone and will never have kids to live for, it really takes a strong soul to bear with life.

However, I'm determined to stay alive, fight suicidal thoughts, and search for a purpose in my life. Perhaps, I could provide appropriate help to other (autistic and non-autistic) people who are in need, and that's something that would really make me feel better.

And last but not least, I don't want to miss the opportunity if fate would smile on me at one time in the future.

What do I live for?
Let's see.....I live for my Mom, partly, but also in the (vague) hope of being a Dad some day (need a REAL loving girlfriend! ) ; I live for my exercises (pull-ups, pushups, etc.); I live for my hobbies, like collecting old rotary- dial telephones, old wind-up clocks, or whatever I may become interested in collecting.....Sometimes (like lately) I haven't really wanted to live that much, but hope making new friends will help me, in that respect.

So, that's what I live for.....

JWS

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An Asperger's man who has Autism Spectrum Disorder level 1- mild, with a sprinkling of Synesthesia.

My parents, my husband, and son. I think other people in my family would be sad too if I died.

I guess I live for my interests. Without them my life would be pretty empty.

when i rebuild myself when i acheive the grand compleation