Constant fear of having offended people

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I feel much alike. Sometimes I can read body language and tone of voice but I think I tend to read too much into it, due to not noticing subtleties and feeling out of sync. Other times, on the internet, I often fear that what I wrote might be offending, especially when I PM someone. Maybe I just don't get replies because I'm boring, not because I'm a jerk.

Hmm, I'm quite good with knowing what non-offensive things to say to people, which is a relief. Everybody sometimes slips out something offensive at times, and I do it very occasionally but it is not frequent. But when I do accidentally slip out something that I know could offend somebody else, I worry about it afterwards, and try making up for it for the rest of the duration that I'm with them (without them really knowing).

Last week I was with a person who was part Polish, and we were talking about foreign people and my cousin said, ''Polish people are all right - I don't mind Polish people'', and I said, ''oh, I don't like Polish people that much'', and immediately after I said that I suddenly remembered our friend was part Polish and she might have been offended. She didn't act offended, but I couldn't apologise after that because the subject suddenly changed and I felt awkward, and I didn't want to bring it up again. I just hope she didn't take it personally.

A really difficult situation is when same "jerk" makes a stupid or ignorant or both type statement, then ask you if you agree. I usually say no and I don't wish to discuss it. The individual usually finds that offensive, but is too stupid/ignorant to realize you are trying to avoid a confrontation.

Yes and it causes me to have anxiety.

I'm trying to avoid the anxiety by thinking "they got offended" instead of "I offended them"

I offend people from time to time.

I was at one business one day when the owner's mother called. The owner was busy with something and so she handed me the telephone and told me to talk to her mother. That was a mistake. About three sentences into our conversation, she grabbed the phone out of my hand and apologized to her mother for putting me on the telephone. Then she suggested rather strongly that I leave. I have no idea what I said that she didn't like. For what it's worth, the business owner has a BS and MS in Psychology but I don't think she's ever worked as one.

More recently, someone asked if we had a job available for his daughter. He explained that his daughter took a year or two out of teaching school to have a baby and she wanted a job where she could bring the baby to work. I told him something like "I'll ask and find out. We certainly would have no objections to her bringing her baby to the office since a couple of people here bring their dogs to the office."

I have this fear too.... the worst part is when I feel compelled to ask that person if I offended them, and their response is less than reassuring.

I feel your pain too and wish there were a way to cure this worry