If you've ever felt scapegoated, outcast, or ostracized ...

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To paraphrase Groucho Marx, I don't want to be a part of any club that'd take me for a member, and I don't want their parties or whatnot. What I can't stand, however, are unfair job interviews, where they take the most incapable person as long as they're sufficiently charming and connected. Why bother with grades and actually doing some work at uni when you can just meet a friend/relative and be sure you'll get a job?

I know what you mean, it's the ones who have the gift of the gab that get places. And being "economical with the truth" does them no harm. I suspect it's a bit better for science jobs, as long as the admin people don't get a say. We used to get these sharp-suited company reps trying to win us over with hype to sell rubbish to us, and we'd just cut through it with objective, detailed questions.

I just remembered about the social acceptance thing, I'd be ignored if it wasn't for my music, and the fact that I stick to musicians and music lovers. They like you if you can play a guitar and sing a bit. If I didn't have that I'd just be sitting there not daring to say a word and everybody would probably think I was aloof or boring. As it is, they approach me to say things like "I liked that second song you did," and I say "Oh thanks, do you like rock and roll then?" and off we go, natural as anything, with no need for me to do this proactive circulating thing where I'd have to approach people and start up conversations. I couldn't do that to save my life. I'd make a good girl really, I could just sit in the corner looking nice and wait for the boys to ask me to dance. But as a man they expect me to stick my neck out. OTOH times may have changed for the young ones.

Last place I worked, the laziest technician in the department got a job very easily in another department. Turns out the previous (somewhat corrupt) management gave them a glowing reference to get rid of them. They were sacked a few months after starting the new job.

I'm not that good on the guitar, but as long as there's something jangling away behind the voice and they like the song, they don't seem to notice. I'm kind of a performing monkey by definition, but it's mostly when I'm on the stage, and I love doing it. And once you've been there a while, they start to feel safe with you and forgive a bit of self expression even when it doesn't quite fit their usual preferences, so you can relax a bit eventually. It's a bit like a relationship, everybody's on their best behaviour at first but nobody in their right mind expects it to stay that way forever.

Restaurant cafe owner family, Never smiles , Forget to bring my food until the person,I came in with ,was almost completely done eating . And my meal was less involved than hers. Ask for water 2 x at another restaurant. But got a coffee refill eventually, but never got the water . Never had these problems before and I am well into the 60 years age of my life.
It disgusts me to the point of, wanting to make a scene . But. restaurants these days, that consistently serve food that doesnt cause any health issues . Can be hard to find. Does leave me with poor feelings towards these people and some of them are older,should know better. First place above actually for a period ran out of a specific coffee they would sell in bulk, besides serving coffee . And the older wife of the owner, told us that the company went out of business. What a Dipstick , So when we got home . Looked it up, sure enough, she had no compunction about lying about a company they do business with, Next time we went in there . Sure enough there was the coffee on their shelves, that ,she had informed us . That the coffee company had gone out of business.(( The same one)),she ,in the previous week ,had said was outta business.

"If you've ever felt scapegoated, outcast, or ostracized"

Paraphrase:
"I woke up this morning."

Homo sapiens, like almost all primates, are tribal. That means we are genetically driven to subjugate what we think in order to fit in with others, and this drive is powerful.

I do not think like the others, and my ability to fake it, masking, has limits. Family tends to see it first and kick you out last, but friends see it eventually, coworkers see it. My ability to fit in with any group almost seems to have an expiration date, and if I want to continue to function in a group, then I have to start over with a new group every so often.

Highly toxic & Judgemental a**holes are always cancerous, Too many online folk are okay with being unlikeable manchildren.

- Run away to the nearest other site abandoning everyone and lash out when called out.

- Give a list of Do not's while using your own list as ass paper.

- Claiming to progressive/left but then go mask off when losing a debate.

Eh.

If I recall my younger years, it's mostly because I am different.

But I don't care about me being autistic, unmasked behaviors, crappy verbal communications and all that.

I have more insecurities about dealing with unmanageable chronic nonallergic rhintis, and making people wary about me sniffling and sneezing involuntarily loudly as if I carried something potentially infectious or COVID, or how gross the amount of slobber I have to put up with not being able to breathe well.

And it's sensorially more overwhelming and triggering than any external disturbance I've experienced to a point external accomodations are pointless and my energy disproportionately went into dealing with this.



Recently, it's finally manageable.
Now anything good and external can finally be made more relevant because I don't have to deal with the same undignifying crap for the last 25+ years of my life anymore.

Now without that, I even cared less about any singling out.
I'm just happier.

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