How satisfied are you with your birth-assigned gender?

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That seems logical (no pun intended). I myself hate the expectations of being male very much, although I also hate being physically male very much. At the same time, I don't think I'd want to conform to societies gender role expectations regardless of my gender.

I've thought of taking female hormones to make my body more like I want it. I'm happy with my life in general, but at no point have I been happy with my gender - even as a very little child. I've never been able to really decide what I want to do about it all - I'm still unsure.

My surgery was male to female.

But, I also don't give a darn about gender roles and expectations either. I'm a tomboy and a brony, a computer geek, a gamer. I don't wear makeup and don't "do" my hair. I get my own doors, lift most of my own heavy objects, and open my own jars. Confuses the heck out of the guys. I'll be my own prince thanks; they can find a princess to rescue in another castle.

Atomsk, if you have the financial means, you should set things in motion for gender reassignment. The earlier you do it, the better the results. You're about the age I was when I started, according to your profile. My results were good, but you don't want to wait. Each year makes it harder for your body to shift.

I find WP is the first place that I've ever been able to be open about my gender dysphoria. I hate the expectations of being female, whereas I only dislike the physical aspects of this. I've never had much of an interest in transitioning, though I have wondered about cross dressing and trying to pass, just to see what it's like. I'm too short, though and my boobs are now quite big. Also, whilst I don't like the hormones, lack of muscle and ability to get pregnant that comes with being female, I quite like having boobs for some reason. I could take testosterone and build muscle, I suppose. I'm a bit wary about taking T because I'm already hairy, and as someone who presents as female I'm not allowed to have hair on my face (which I do anyway, I just wouldn't like there to be more of it that I'd have to remove). I'd like to be sterilised at some point, as well. I can't say why, but I really hate the fact that I can get pregnant. I hate it so much, I currently take hormonal contraception and put up with the unwanted female hormones because I hate the idea of being impregnable so much. I need to get a copper IUD, because I doubt doctors would sterilise me without having children first. I need to bring that up with my doctor next time I visit her.

Switch around the "male" and "female" and this describes how I feel.
I did go through a brief stage as a child where I wished I was a boy because it seemed like they had more fun, but I pretty quickly figured out that I could do whatever I enjoyed regardless of whether I was male or female.

Being a female has it's good points and bad points. The bad points are fashion obligations, that there are more rules for conformity in women then there is in men.
One of the good points is I don't have to be interested in sport.

I have the financial means for HRT (but I'm fairly unwilling to go through official routes, for various reasons, partly because of my autism even). Part of the reason I -didn't- start earlier, when I -almost- did start, was because of my age. It wasn't so much age, but my body's progression into a male figure. I cannot see how I could possibly be seen as female, with my bone structure. I kick myself [figuratively] because I see now that I've wasted more time not transitioning, when that was part of why I didn't start transitioning in the first place. But now things are worse. I could have started it when I was 19 or 20 or 21, but I didn't because I thought of how much better it would have been to start at 18 (I kept growing after 18, for a little bit), or before then. Now I'm 23. I realize this is still within the 'window of opportunity', I suppose.

Still though. Ugh. I'm flooded with the same feelings I had back then, and have had recurring since then. I suppose regardless of my bone structure, I would feel much better transitioning. I wish I knew how it would work out - if I'd be able to pass, and all that. It drives me crazy. I've seen many examples of unbelievable transformations but I always still doubt it could happen with me. At the same time, it also doesn't matter to me what others think about me. I'm terribly split about it all - my whole life I've tried avoiding extra attention, social attention, etc. Just attention from being different. I see transitioning as something that could potentially make me stand out in a bad way - bringing more attention I don't want - but at the same time I feel horrible about my body as it is now, even though it is quite healthy and fit.

To sum it all up, I don't know what to do, and the longer I wait the less likely I am to be able to choose transition with good results.

7
Ambivalent, but also happy being female. My gender is not a particularly important part of my identity; I also wish gender was less relevant in society.

I said 8. I like dressing up. Clothes were once one of my interests. Skirts are much more comfortable than pants to me but if I were a man, I'd either have to give them up or move somewhere where they're more socially acceptable on men. I've never tried using boobs as a tool of manipulation. I'm not that attractive.

Really, the only problems I have with being female are the maternal thing and the "flock" thing (haven't been awake long enough so my brain isn't fully online yet). I'm a parent, but I have to force/fake the lovey-dovey stuff. Not the actual love, of course; my children are little bits of my heart. The "flock" thing is how so many women tend to do things in groups. I hate that. I like to be able to come and go as I please without having a committee meeting.

...Yes the "flock" thing - perfect description...what is that !?! ...have never understood it

Me neither. I've never been in the flock. Occasionally, I've thought I was part of a flock, but then landed back on my mountain (I'm a goat), with a bump.

I said 5. I don't really feel like a woman in a man's body, but I don't feel like a man on the inside either. If my physical form matched my inner self, I would be a shape shifter. That's what I really want. `-`

Heh, I kinda thought you were a guy - by default, because I couldn't decide.

I know what you mean about that stage, when I hit puberty and started to think about ... the things you start to think about when you hit puberty, my curiousity went to the point of wondering what it would've been like to be anatomically female. Just ... our equipment is sort of comical/utilitarian. The other seemed very mysterious and had different aspects to it, like that it has a conceptual aspect of consuming something during the sex act (but strangely enough, not interested in the conceptual aspect of being penetrated). Ours doesn't really do anything like that, just sort of bobs around.

It's kind of hard to explain because it was an abstract thing, I didn't actually want to have female genitals (and I had no interest in taking on female clothes or interests or sexuality even), but I was definately curious about the perspective of having them. I suppose in a way I wished I had a female copy of myself, that I could become temporarily, which was exactly the same in every detail except the anatomy. But in a very idealized or abstract sort of way. I'm not sure language serves well to explain here.

Last edited by edgewaters on 18 Jul 2012, 9:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

Tough question. I said "7" but years ago it would have been a "4" or "5". I always found I related better to females growing up because they weren't so obsessed with violence and sex: two activities I had zero interest in as a teenager. Furthermore, as a child I felt more drawn to girls as friends (feelings were NOT mutual) and was jealous of what they could wear. I was also jealous of how they could get their ears pierced as it was unheard of for a boy to get it done back then. I'm one of the few men who can match a woman's skill with children and have some "feminine" qualities in that area that no doubt scare some people because they are so rare to see in a man, especially a young, single man. Bottom line is that even a daycare director told me I would be an ideal person in that field and everyone assumes I have a family because kids are attracted to me like a magnet. I always joke that I was a woman in my past life and still haven't adjusted to being a man.

HOWEVER............................

Ever since I've started online dating (around Christmas) I have come to the conclusion that I couldn't possibly be more clueless about women. They seem absolutely bizarre to me and while most men usually agree they can at least get into a relationship with one. I simply can't grasp any female's thought process nor can I "get" how any woman could possibly be attracted to a man. It's said that men are from Mars but I would say I'm from Jupiter. I can get along great with woman as casual acquaintances (especially much older women) but in a serious relationship? I have a LOT of work to do to get on the same page.

Interesting perspectives from both sides.

It seems sensible that there are certain expectations that come with being either gender, so if someone doesn't "meet" those, they can experience a lot of frustration.

As a female, perhaps the most annoying thing is how both genders will judge you by your alleged attractiveness much more than if you are a male. I get tired of people telling me to change my hair, that my jawline is too strong, that I look like a man, etc. Men will typically be brief and short and blunt in their assessments ("you aren't good-looking enough to be with your fiance," "were you born with man parts?" or "wow, you are ugly") whereas women will fake politeness until they perceive an opportunity to state their opinion more bluntly. This almost always happens when I'm lamenting some comment I received; so when I complain about any of this stuff, the women will then jump in and tell me how to look (your hair is the wrong texture, wear this makeup instead, dress up in this way rather than your current way, etc.), and when I tell them I tired of it, they will then add, "well, you seemed to ask for it."

I think you've found the main "advantage" of being female there. I would describe why I wouldn't flash my body off if I was a lady, but when I try to explain what I see as wrong with it, I usually invite massive contempt from those who practise the art, with my bluntness. Paradoxically, women used to become very angry with (and sometimes physically attack) an Aspie friend of mine for explaining how he felt about décolletage etc., though in his case it was his blunt description of why he approved of it that got him into trouble.

I'd rather stay male. I do seem to have quite a few (arguably) female traits, but I think they just make me more of a gentleman.......warm, sensitive, caring, hate this "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" sexual attitude, want sustainable relationships that have some kind of meaning, don't like football, don't like lager, would hate to have a beer gut, don't go for porn, like hugging partners, hate macho people, able to watch a Catherine Cookson video.

That menstruation thing would drive me nuts......as for pregnancy and childbirth, count me out. And all those crazy social expectations.........pressure to look and act fashionable and "feminine," to be thin and to walk about in shoes that damaged my health, and you can't even expect to escape from the capitalist jobs market by marrying, not any more. Time was when I'd have loved to marry a woman who was too proud to let me work, but I couldn't find one like that. Being on average smaller than a man, you're physically vulnerable to more violence (though the "never hit a woman" ethic may mitigate this a lot). I'd probably be in for a lot of patronising by sexists who talked to me like I was a toddler. Then there would be sex-mad blokes who would be forever pretending to be friendly just to get into my pants.....I've had a difficult enough time getting women to slow down a bit in that way when a relationship is beginning, so god knows how much more difficult men would be. It's also easier for a man to urinate, especially under adverse conditions.

So I think I'll stick with what Sod gave me.

Tell those people of both genders to go f**k themselves.