Why the hell do people always think i'm a guy?! !

Page 3 of 5 [ 78 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

EXPECIALLY
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 701

20 Jul 2012, 6:51 am

xD

Yep. l was even "accused" of such on a forum that is mostly for women, they said they could just "feel it". Also one very seriously stated that she didn't believe l was female because l didn't know my dress size.


LMFAO.

l never go gender neutral on other sites but not so long ago on a site where l don't even think we could list gender a woman randomly described me as someone she "perceived as male."

Oh.

Offensive, no. just funny and makes me wonder what people think of IRL. l am feminine in appearance and always have been but some of my old friends thought l was gay long before l was out to anyone so maybe l am more masculine than l realize.


_________________
AD/HD BAP.

HDTV...

Whatever.


Last edited by EXPECIALLY on 20 Jul 2012, 7:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

20 Jul 2012, 7:01 am

because your cool!!


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

20 Jul 2012, 7:21 am

Ilka wrote:
Sparx wrote:
It's just the default gender to assign to an anonymous in most people's minds.


Sparx is right: If gender is not specified I always assume = male.

And I thought CockneyRebel was a male.

You can always explain in the same post that you are female so the same people who gave you advise before can edit it for our gender.


Having male be the default assumption is extremely problematic. It's not cool just because everyone else does it.



Pandora_Box
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299

20 Jul 2012, 10:08 am

Verdandi wrote:
Avatars are often useless. On a lot of forums I read, a lot of guys have avatars with women in them, and tend to flip out a bit when they're taken as female.

I also do not think that people take offense just because they want to insult you.


Erm if they have a woman as their avatar pictures, I assume they are male, especially the skimpier ones. These men don't put woman as their avatars to pretend to be woman, its the kind of woman they find hot or its their girlfriend of sorts.

Girly avatar, imo is something.....that doesn't have a woman in it. Generally its some sort of landscapey photomanip thing or its something light and airy with bright colors. I have an example.

This would be what I'd assume female:
http://role-player.net/forum/image.php? ... type=thumb
http://role-player.net/forum/image.php? ... type=thumb

This is what I'd assume as male:
http://oyster.ignimgs.com/social/avatar ... 593735.jpg
http://jodilane.files.wordpress.com/201 ... red-01.jpg


@OP, Everyone is male on the internet. Its the default gender to assign. It's not that big of deal.Web Page Namefemale



Dirtdigger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2011
Age: 79
Gender: Female
Posts: 855

20 Jul 2012, 10:19 am

tjr1243 wrote:
I'm a woman and posted in another forum (not WP). Asked for advice. Mistakenly forgot to put my gender. I did not have to say a **** thing but everyone assumed i'm a male. Great, well-thought out advice to my relationship questions but it was a waste because they gave advice as if i were male so now i have to repost the same **** question over again and probably not get the same great people who advised the first time. Oh well :roll:

/end of rant (thanks for listening)..... :oops:

Has this ever happened to you, where people think you're the opposite gender online?????

PS. Is this an Aspie trait, to not give off the correct "gender vibes"??????


Yes it has because of the male interest I have though I'm a female. I've been referred to as Mister and Sir and politely correct others that I'm a female along with a LOL. Why are you getting so bent out of shape over this since apparently you have given others the impression that you are a male? Make sure your audience know you are female in your posts. But this is no reason to go off like that. That would help.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

20 Jul 2012, 10:26 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
Avatars are often useless. On a lot of forums I read, a lot of guys have avatars with women in them, and tend to flip out a bit when they're taken as female.

I also do not think that people take offense just because they want to insult you.


Erm if they have a woman as their avatar pictures, I assume they are male, especially the skimpier ones. These men don't put woman as their avatars to pretend to be woman, its the kind of woman they find hot or its their girlfriend of sorts.

Girly avatar, imo is something.....that doesn't have a woman in it. Generally its some sort of landscapey photomanip thing or its something light and airy with bright colors. I have an example.

This would be what I'd assume female:
http://role-player.net/forum/image.php? ... type=thumb
http://role-player.net/forum/image.php? ... type=thumb

This is what I'd assume as male:
http://oyster.ignimgs.com/social/avatar ... 593735.jpg
http://jodilane.files.wordpress.com/201 ... red-01.jpg


I've seen numerous exceptions both ways. I don't judge gender by avatars.


Quote:
@OP, Everyone is male on the internet. Its the default gender to assign. It's not that big of deal.


This specific attitude is one that usually makes me want to stay away from the people who espouse it. The assumption of male as default is in principle, part of the sexist foundation of modern society. It may not be a big deal to you, but in my experience it is a big deal for many - most of whom are not actually men.



Pandora_Box
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299

20 Jul 2012, 10:31 am

Verdandi wrote:
This specific attitude is one that usually makes me want to stay away from the people who espouse it. The assumption of male as default is in principle, part of the sexist foundation of modern society. It may not be a big deal to you, but in my experience it is a big deal for many - most of whom are not actually men.


I don't find it sexist, imo. I run my own site, its a focused "Deck site" magic the gathering. I have 300 hundred members. Nearly half of them are male with two or so females. There is nothing sexist about what is fact, that proves for itself, from my many observations on the internet. Male is default, it has nothing to do with sexism it has to do with what is observed and experienced.



hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

20 Jul 2012, 10:39 am

I find it sexist, especially since I've been around people online that insist you are a male even after being informed that you are female.

I've been told I'm a g.i.r.l. (guy in real life) so many times on gaming boards.

It wouldn't be as bad if they would just accept it when they found out.



Pandora_Box
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299

20 Jul 2012, 10:49 am

hanyo wrote:
I find it sexist, especially since I've been around people online that insist you are a male even after being informed that you are female.

I've been told I'm a g.i.r.l. (guy in real life) so many times on gaming boards.

It wouldn't be as bad if they would just accept it when they found out.


If someone states they are female I accept it.

But see for me, even though I say what I say, and it may seem contradictory, but these are more or less my truer feelings. For me gender is simply what people use to define and label themselves. I have always just seen people and leave gender out of the equation.

For me it doesn't matter male or female. It's the god damn internet for god sake why do we need to denote our gender to do anything productive? Is me being male or you being female beneficial to what is being done? Most likely not.

Such as I stated I run a Magic Gathering site, does male and female denote any beneificial effects of playing the game? No it doesn't.

Gender doesn't matter on the internet. Gender doesn't matter if you're playing Xbox Live or typing on a forum. Why do people feel the need to go I'm female and male? Idk



Ilka
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,365
Location: Panama City, Republic of Panama

20 Jul 2012, 10:54 am

Verdandi wrote:
Having male be the default assumption is extremely problematic. It's not cool just because everyone else does it.


I am not saying it is right. I am just saying it happens.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

20 Jul 2012, 11:25 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
I don't find it sexist, imo. I run my own site, its a focused "Deck site" magic the gathering. I have 300 hundred members. Nearly half of them are male with two or so females. There is nothing sexist about what is fact, that proves for itself, from my many observations on the internet. Male is default, it has nothing to do with sexism it has to do with what is observed and experienced.


I strongly suggest that as a guy, you are significantly less likely to be on the receiving end of this kind of behavior. I am telling you, as someone who has been on the receiving end of that: It sucks. As far as your site goes, it's just one site. You may believe that the demographics are simply a passive reflection of the way things are, but in my experience a significant number of gamer sites are male dominated both in terms of numbers, and in terms of controlling the discourse. And that discourse, as managed by gamer men, is simply not appealing to a lot of women who game.

A significant number of gamer men are sexist. I find I prefer not to spend any time around them, so I have reduced my participation in online gaming discussions. I have been involved in tabletop wargames, role-playing games, and most genres of video games, and my observations and experiences are that what you're endorsing is a sexist perspective. The fact that you have women at all on your website means that male should not be the default assumption. The only time male should be the default assumption is when you're referring to a group entirely composed of men.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

20 Jul 2012, 11:28 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
Gender doesn't matter on the internet. Gender doesn't matter if you're playing Xbox Live or typing on a forum. Why do people feel the need to go I'm female and male? Idk


Unfortunately, gender does matter on the internet, because it is reflected in online interactions. In two previous posts you stated that male is simply the default, that's just the way it is. But you also complain "Why do people feel the need to go I'm female and male?" You also claim that you do not see gender, you only see people. However, this is already not true because you said in another post that you automatically see people as men until otherwise notified. You're not being consistent.



Pandora_Box
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,299

20 Jul 2012, 11:31 am

Verdandi wrote:
Unfortunately, gender does matter on the internet, because it is reflected in online interactions. In two previous posts you stated that male is simply the default, that's just the way it is. But you also complain "Why do people feel the need to go I'm female and male?" You also claim that you do not see gender, you only see people. However, this is already not true because you said in another post that you automatically see people as men until otherwise notified. You're not being consistent.


One, I was giving the standard argument to other people's views. Second, I accept male and female because that's how people address themselves, so I accept it and respect it, and thus go by those standards. Third, but my true feelings is that gender doesn't exist.

I think that was pretty clear when I originally stated. But I guess I have to use shorter sentences.



Verdandi
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Dec 2010
Age: 56
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,275
Location: University of California Sunnydale (fictional location - Real location Olympia, WA)

20 Jul 2012, 11:37 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
One, I was giving the standard argument to other people's views. Second, I accept male and female because that's how people address themselves, so I accept it and respect it, and thus go by those standards. Third, but my true feelings is that gender doesn't exist.

I think that was pretty clear when I originally stated. But I guess I have to use shorter sentences.


1) The standard argument is sexist, not neutral.

2) Assuming everyone is male until proven otherwise is not "accepting male and female."

3) Gender does exist, or there wouldn't be so much of it causing so much trouble. Denying its existence when there are long-term systems of oppression based directly on gender is sort of tacky.

4) The shorter sentences comment was not necessary. I disagreed with you, but I did not insult you.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

20 Jul 2012, 11:45 am

I was mistaken for a boy once before when I was 14, and because I have the ''once bitten twice shy'' self-esteem, it has caused me to have a poor self-image of myself. I was 14, I had noticeable breasts and long hair and one stupid tosser thought I was a boy just because I had a cap on. No, it wasn't a joke, I was in a pharmacists with my mum and she was asking for something to treat spots for her son, and the man at the till started looking on my face and said, ''where's his acne then? His face looks quite clear to me'', and my mum had to say, ''no that's my daughter.'' The man didn't seem to look that embarrassed but I felt really embarrassed.. Now every time I am in a shop with someone who is asking the shop assistant for something for someone else, I immediately think that the shop assistant might think I'm that person who they're asking about the item for. Like the other day I was with my mum while she went into the doctors, and while she was in there she asked for an appointment for her mum, and I was standing there panicking in case they might think I'm her mum (my grandmother), although rationally I know I don't look like an old lady, but the paranoia has gotten hold of me.


_________________
Female


hanyo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,302

20 Jul 2012, 11:48 am

I've had people think I was a guy a couple of times when I was dressed up sexy and wearing a short skirt. One time I even had cleavage showing. This was in real life.



Last edited by hanyo on 20 Jul 2012, 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.