Is this an AS trait and what is it called?

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I've always been very skeptical about anything related to body language being my problem, because so much of my interactions with people are on the phone and there's no difference with face-to-face. Eg. all the "busy" excuses are mostly said on the phone. All the "let's keep in touch!", "It was nice of you to call!", "We have to get together sometime!", "I'll call you as soon as I finish my exams!", etc. etc.

I've always been very skeptical about anything related to body language being my problem, because so much of my interactions with people are on the phone and there's no difference with face-to-face. Eg. all the "busy" excuses are mostly said on the phone. All the "let's keep in touch!", "It was nice of you to call!", "We have to get together sometime!", "I'll call you as soon as I finish my exams!", etc. etc.

Every time people have changed the subject, I have always gotten distracted and would forget about what I was talking about and not go back to what i was talking about because I would literally forget. I just thought they decided to go off topic and I was taught as a kid about staying on topic and people break that rule anyway.

I wonder what does it mean to respond to social cues right but still read them wrong? No one will ever guess you read it wrong.

How can you tell us body language is so important to learn and have us focus on it so much when people just fake it anyways.

Thank you for the term, Knarly! I see now in Google that social naivete is indeed the name of this aspie trait. I'm very surprised that it's not in the list of symptoms, though, and that it's almost never discussed on WP. I really would like to know why, as I feel so alone with this impairment.

I always thought people said what they really felt / thought, till I was in my forties. Nowadays I know that very often people say what is in their best interest to say (for a myriad of reasons).

I'll give several examples of what I mean, to increase the likelihood that my question is understood.

- Once, talking with a group of peers about what we wanted to study and work in, someone put down very aggressively what I mentioned I wanted to do. I had no doubt that she really hated that profession, but decades later I discovered, thinking about it, that she was actually adamant to put ME down and make me look bad. Her intent was female-female competition, and I had interpreted it as she becoming aggressive out of so much hatred for that profession.

- Till my forties, I used to believe the "busy" excuse when someone stopped wanting to meet up.

- I used to think that if someone yelled, it was because the anger they felt made them lose control over the expression of their feelings, nowadays I know that very often people yell in order to intimidate.

- I used to think that when someone said: "You can't do that!" it was because they were afraid I could get harmed in some way, that they had only my best interest in mind. Nowadays I know that people will more often say that when THEY don't want you to do something.

- I used to think that "I'm not sure I'll be able to make it" meant they weren't sure rather than "I don't want to come".

- I used to think that when someone said "I'll get back to you on that" they always meant it, but now I know that often it's a way to get rid of the question / issue.

- I used to think that everyone laughed only when they found the joke funny, now I know that very often people laugh in direct proportion to how much they want to be on the good side of the person telling the joke.

social naivete is indeed the name of this aspie trait. I'm very surprised that it's not in the list of symptoms, though, and that it's almost never discussed on WP. I really would like to know why, as I feel so alone with this impairment.

The Adolescent: This may be the most difficult time for an individual with Asperger's Disorder. Those with milder forms of the disorder may first come to treatment when they are in middle school. In adolescence, social demands become more complex. Subtle social nuances become important. Some may show an increase in oppositional or aggressive behavior. Individuals with Asperger’s have difficulty understanding which of their peers might want to be a friend. A socially marginal boy might try to date the most popular girl in his class. He will probably experience rejection. He is unaware that some other girl might accept his invitation. Because of his social naiveté, he may not realize when someone is trying to take advantage of him. He can be especially vulnerable to manipulation and peer pressure.
( source: http://www.ncpamd.com/aspergers.htm )

someone told me that I don't always have to say yes and people often have hidden agendas (which in turn made me paranoid about the motives of others), so for a long time I did almost the opposite, until I realized saying no almost always was not the solution either.

Blownmind, that's a good one to ponder indeed. I'm confused too. I guess one thing is believing lies, another is doing what we don't want to do.

There is a difference between peer-pressure and peer-manipulation. Possibly less of the former, but more of the latter. The behaviours may average out in practice.

A lot of aspies are stereotyped as rule followers, so this explains why some people say aspies will not succumb to peer pressure, on the other hand aspies are also said to challenge all authority and reject unfair rules.

I don't speed, walk on the grass, litter, steal or cheat. On the other hand I break many social rules and experimented with illegal substances in my early 20's (note: when I had left home and school).